Blame It On The Brakes
Thanks to that picture, you now know what the ring felt like when Gollum reached for it.
Lindsay Lohan's Encyclopedia of Cracked Out Excuses just got another entry. Bitch obviously doesn't think her "the bitch cut me off" excuse is good enough, because she's thrown another coke-laced excuse on top of that one. TMZ says that LiLo is now telling friends that she rammed into the 18-wheeler that allegedly cut her off because the brakes on her rented Porsche suddenly stopped working. And tomorrow, LiLo will bend over and shit out a dozen more excuses like, "The black kid was driving! I was drinking Kombucha tea!"
A source (born name: Donata Sullivan) tells TMZ that LiLo is crying to her friends that the semi-truck driver is mouth farting out lie after lie. The accident wasn't her fault (he says it is), there was no mysterious pink bag (he says there was) and nobody tried to seal his lips with some hush money (he says they did). We already know that the brakes on this messy twat's life dot work and now she's also telling her friends that the brakes on her rented Porsche didn't work either. LiLo thinks this is weird, because the people who rented her the Porsche told her the brakes were replaced just two days before she busted into that 18-wheeler.
You can't count on this bitch for much, but you can always count on her to reach deep into her ass and pull out a hilarious excuse. The brakes broke? The only way I'd buy that shit is if LiLo snorted up all the brake fluid beforehand or if the ghost of Elizabeth Taylor got revenge by cutting those brakes. Actually, both of those are serious possibilities.
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Submitted by crazyinjapan on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 9:44pm.
Mike: You've opened up a whole new world to me. So there are many specific nekkid poses that overweight women use to hide their bulginess? Do they put them on those adult sites to attract mates?
I don't know that there's a guide out there, but you can usually tell by the pose if someone's trying to conceal just as much as they reveal.
Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 9:19pm.
Submitted by mike on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 8:43pm.
Submitted by Provolone on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 8:39pm.
You want off-topic?
Here is one of Snookie's uncensored NSFW nude shots
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I just don't understand people who take photos like this. completely alien to me.
Really, I think it's almost the norm to have nude self-pics nowadays, with digital cameras and phone cameras. I
Mike: You've opened up a whole new world to me. So there are many specific nekkid poses that overweight women use to hide their bulginess? Do they put them on those adult sites to attract mates?
the thought of Snooki masturbating....*shudders*
I'm still pissed I even know of her existence
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You'll never be a man
No matter how many foreign bodies you can take
You'll never be a man
-Elvis Costello
Submitted by WWMKD on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 9:34pm.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
You need a refresher course in Troll 101 because you really suck at this. SMH. What are you, 10?
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 9:38pm.
Dog and crazyinjapan. Gross. Please stop! why would those thoughts even come across your minds?
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Cuz it's funny. *puts hand over mouth and giggles like a naughty 12-year-old*
The Dog ate her brake lines B4 her heel broke trying to avoid a truck that dropped out of the sky to cut her off.
Dog and crazyinjapan. Gross. Please stop! why would those thoughts even come across your minds?
eeeuuuuwwwwww
**********************************************
You'll never be a man
No matter how many foreign bodies you can take
You'll never be a man
-Elvis Costello
Submitted by Gigaboob on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 9:00pm.
Re: Snookie
Ok who poses like that? It's like she's at the gynecologist.
It's what's known as a SIF pose, though in her case, it's no secret.
SIF =. Secret Internet Fatty
Submitted by WWMKD on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 9:34pm.
Submitted by Dog on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 9:27pm.
Submitted by crazyinjapan on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 9:06pm.
the Holland Tunnel and your clit swings like a pendulum?
still talking about yourself I see. now who's off topic?
__________________
This is the second day in a row we've had a post about Lindsay's wreck. There's just not a whole lot more to say about it.
Submitted by Dog on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 9:27pm.
Submitted by crazyinjapan on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 9:06pm.
the Holland Tunnel and your clit swings like a pendulum?
still talking about yourself I see. now who's off topic?
Dog: Or maybe she puts some hamburger up in there and lets her dog eat it out. There was a girl in high school they called "Dogmeat" who was rumored to have done just that.
There was an episode of Nip Tuck where Melissa Gilbert played an Army Wife who was having plastic surgery to fix tears on her vag and inner legs. Her husband brought in their German shepherd in a body bag because the dog was her lover. She was putting peanut butter on her puss and tits and the dog would go to town!
Submitted by crazyinjapan on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 9:06pm.
Do you think she masturbates while looking in that mirror?
^^^^^^^^^^^^
How do you masturbate when your vajayjay is wider than the Holland Tunnel and your clit swings like a pendulum?
Nice visuals, huh? You're welcome.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Provy! Ew! And I was gonna feel sorry for her, but then I remembered that they had to blur her mudflaps on the show because she wore miniskirts and no panties. So we're not the first to see that stuff.
I used to think that if she would only go back to the ginge she would look so much better. Now I know I was wrong.
Submitted by mike on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 8:43pm.
Submitted by Provolone on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 8:39pm.
You want off-topic?
Here is one of Snookie's uncensored NSFW nude shots
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I just don't understand people who take photos like this. completely alien to me.
Hekki -
You are very, very wise, I bow to you.
Do you think she masturbates while looking in that mirror?
there is a difference between being teeny like Rachel Bilson, and short and dumpy like Snooki.
**********************************************
You'll never be a man
No matter how many foreign bodies you can take
You'll never be a man
-Elvis Costello
Her meat wallet looks a little chapped.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
I expected nude Snooki to be worse, too. I first noticed her messy dresser and then, once they were pointed out, check out the canckles. She really has an unfortunate body type.
I used to wish I was teeny and petite like that (I'm 5'11"), but as I've gotten older I appreciate having long legs.
Re: Snookie
Ok who poses like that? It's like she's at the gynecologist.
Just damn.
Snooks is rocking some cankles!!!
This is entirely plausible. Let's just say she had her sunroof open and a crack bird dropped a crack rock in her car and it fell on the ground and got lodged on her brake pedal shaft preventing it from depressing. Yeah that's it.
Provolone: It's not off topic. It's just like Lindsay Lohan--a useless, nasty twat.
Submitted by Provolone on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 8:39pm.
You want off-topic?
Here is one of Snookie's uncensored NSFW nude shots
http://i45.tinypic.com/15hirfn.jpg
:D
lol
I honestly expected it to be worse.
Provy, you FUCK!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
You want off-topic?
Here is one of Snookie's uncensored NSFW nude shots
http://i45.tinypic.com/15hirfn.jpg
:D
Submitted by phillyphillie on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 8:28pm.
How the hell does this bitch have money to pay people off???? Doesn't she owe everyone under the sun over twenty times what she's making off of Liz and Dick- each?
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It's called 'hooking' hon...How do you think this bitch pays her rent or feeds her Blo hole?
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I don't know why, but i feel the need to write, "move that cone, I'm lindsay lohan" at least once under each of her posts.
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"I felt very still & very empty, the way the eye of a tornado must feel, moving dully along in the middle of the surrounding hullabaloo."
BURN IT WITH FIRE !!!
You know what, though? Everyone Lindsay crosses gets painted with the famewhore brush. That counselor at her rehab, the owner of the jewelry store she stole the necklace from, the Carvel store her family was ganking, the manager of the club she hit with her car. EVERYONE is wrong and they're all lying and they all just want to get famous at her expense.
She crashes into HIS truck, tries to flee the scene, and tries to blame him for it. (I'm not even addressing the alleged bribe and pink bag.) The dude is going to be missing pay for the days he has to go to court to deal with this bullshit. He's gonna have to deal with this shit with his employer. But HE is the bad guy here?
Nuh uh.
How the hell does this bitch have money to pay people off???? Doesn't she owe everyone under the sun over twenty times what she's making off of Liz and Dick- each?
The only reason I brought up MM in the first place was to try and set mefunigirl straight. Whenever I post to her about it, she disappears...and then she comments some other time the same misinformed opinion. And once again, she missed this!
Lilo sucks. I fucking hate her.
Happy?
**********************************************
You'll never be a man
No matter how many foreign bodies you can take
You'll never be a man
-Elvis Costello
I honestly wouldn't be all that surprised if the truck driver were exaggerating just to get some press attention or whatever. But yeah, you rear-end someone, it's your fault. She should just own up to it and apologize. Nobody got hurt, it's really not that big a deal. "Accidents happen, I'm sorry, I'll make an effort to be more careful next time." Pay your citation fine and take your insurance rate hike like a big girl. What's so hard about that? She does have shitty luck but her infantile reactions to these situations never fail to make them 100x worse than they need to be.
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
Whatever, they will pay off someone to say it was break failure...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Well, I'm still waiting for someone to explain how you slam into the back of an 18-wheeler that cut you off. I mean, did it cut her off and then stop short? Is that the story?
Not that it will make much sense. As Judge Judy says, if it doesn't make sense, it's a lie.
I hate this crap bird!
It's just a bad omen...Liz is pissed.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 7:33pm.
k u guyz there is NO pink bag but gimmie ur pills, motherfuckers
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I need some after I renovated my house into a ballet studio.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 7:39pm.
Sucky, no pills, but here are some drenched panties, (brake fluid) Chicklets and a ribbed dildo. Give it to your friend over there. Hahahhaa
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thx
*deposits items into pink bag and drives away erratically*
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Submitted by Nanners on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 7:39pm.
Ghost Liz holding scissors: "These have always brought me luck".
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lmfao...fuck the diamonds!
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...the end
Is anyone else getting a Go Navy trailer?
The vocals keep popping up and scaring the shit out of me, I don't want to stop it though because for some reason I feel like I'm betraying my country:(
Though Lindsay can be set adrift on an iceberg for all I care.
Knowing her she would fucking call the Navy.
Ghost Liz holding scissors: "These have always brought me luck".
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
Sucky, no pills, but here are some drenched panties, (brake fluid) Chicklets and a ribbed dildo. Give it to your friend over there. Hahahhaa
Yeah, Linds, can't with this bitch. Waiting for the next fiasco. Falling down an elevator shaft?! We wish.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦≈♠░░░░
I'm just wringing my wrists in agony over all of you ganging up on me right now.
It's like a pack of Lohans, pissed off about some off the cuff remark they took as slander.
*looking around for Dina*
If any of you notice, my prior requests (which were not rude) were totally ignored. I guess it took a little hot sauce to get someone to pucker up and switch gears, huh?
Submitted by ikoihiI on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 7:30pm.
Submitted by Dog on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 7:22pm.
Submitted by ikoihiI on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 7:05pm.
I was purposely polite because no one deserved to get slammed, you moron, except you now. There's no need for you to post like that.
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First off, Miss Ho Dog, I was in here trying to discuss Lohan = mess (not even hot), and was getting overrun by MM commentary. Secondly, I didn't insult anyone or call anyone out (unlike your worthless ass), so you need to chill out. Calling me a moron isn't going to make your lame ass life any better, but it shows that you can randomly choose me as someone you think you can bully and call names.
^^^^^^^^^^^^
You called them names for posting and you DID insult them. All you had to do was what I did: politely ask them to take it to the OP but instead you chose to slam them. And prior to today, you've posted how many times? As I just said in the OP, you're slipping. Badly.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Hey, Iko, I took offense to your calling people "bland bitches", too. Sounded like an insult to me. Your whole comment made me do a double-take. I'll claim "horny ass woman", though.
No need to be so rude, seriously.
k u guyz there is NO pink bag but gimmie ur pills, motherfuckers
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.