Lindsay Lohan Can't Drive: Part 498
The overused phrase "Lindsay Lohan can't catch a break" suddenly has a new meaning. LiLo got into a bad car crash on Pacific Coast Highway today after she failed to the hit brake in time and busted into the back of an 18 wheeler. TMZ says that Lindsay's assistant was the passenger in her Porsche and both them ended up with bleeding bruises. LiLo's assistant was taken to the hospital by ambulance and is reportedly conscious and doing fine. LiLo also went to the hospital, but didn't go by ambulance, because it would be extremely awkward if an 8-ball fell out of her pocket in front of the paramedics. There's only so many times you can use the "DEEZE AREN'T MY PANTZ" excuse.
The doctors are still performing tests on LiLo, but apparently her injuries are not serious. Bitch's Porsche however has a busted window and a fucked up bumper. As for who caused the bust up, LiLo is following the Lohan Family's #1: When all else fails, blame the other bitch! LiLo says that the 18 wheeler cut her off and didn't give her enough time to hit the brakes.
And at this very moment, White Oprah is at a medical supply store buying crutches, a wheelchair, a neck brace, arm casts, leg casts, lip casts, nostril casts and any other tools LiLo might need to scam the other driver's insurance company out of millions of dollars. If that 18 wheeler cut LiLo off, then he cut off the wrong bitch. If that 18 wheeler didn't cut LiLo off, then he got rear-ended by the wrong bitch. Whatever the case may be, White Oprah will be texting LiLo the message "#getinsurancemoneybitch" all day long.
UPDATE: Sources at the LAPD tell TMZ that neither LiLo or the driver of the 18 wheeler were high on the bad shit or boozed up on the sweet nectar at the time of the accident. LiLo and her assistant are already out of the hospital and she's already back on the set of that other car crash: Liz & Dick.
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The Mail has pix of her leaving the hospital and getting into a car with her flack, Steve Honig. She allegedly was driving to a set, but Marina del Rey (apparently the only locale to be used in the TV movie) is the opp way. As others have said, she also was out partying late last night.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2156676/Lindsay-Lohans-mang...
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Please: It's "rahnday."
Is it still true that in Cali it is not mandatory to have car insurance? Because I don't know what insurance company would be crazy enough to insure a bicycle, much less a car for her.
In NY she wouldn't be able to rent a car, much less insure one.
"Move that Mack truck! I'm Lindsay Lohan!"
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"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
- Yogi Berra
I have her for one point in my death pool. Come on you bitch, DIE!
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Posted by someone over on TMZ:
"she was probably driving with her windows down and
the wind got those lips to flapping, they blocked her
view and WHAM!"
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"Birds are doomed when pussies can fly"- MK
Submitted by YesterdaysTrashQueen on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 7:52pm.
Who are these idiots who keep working as her assistants?
Hello, you were in the death seat. FreckleMeth must go
through assistants like tissues.
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This. Is the job market really that bad that people have to resort to this?
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"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
- Yogi Berra
The speed limit there on PCH is 45. Coming out of Santa Monica, most people are doing around the limit or 5 over. There's a couple of lights, so you couldn't be going that fast in a truck. You'd also undoubtedly be in the far right lane, by the curb. No, I bet the female Kurt Busch is solely responsible for this accident.
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Please: It's "rahnday."
You know what? If you "rent" ANYTHING to LiLo this is how it's likely to end up looking, be it a car, a house, a piece of joo'ry...Oh, wait she'll just steal that outright...Anyone who lends, rents Blohan ANYTHING even a paper cup DESERVES them summadis for being that stupid.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by sinjin on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 7:56pm.
Damn, we were so close. (smh)
Truck drivers CAN and DO cut people off. ...
Yep, they do. Sometimes it's carelessness (not double-checking those half-dozen mirrors on each door, or being in WAY too big a hurry), sometimes they honest-to-God can't see the car because the other driver is in their blind spot (70 feet of truck makes for hellacious blind spots), and sometimes it's too many uppers or too little sleep.
The fact that anyone here at Dlisted would blame the truck is so laughable. We are talking about LOHAN here folks not just Joe blow driving to and from work. The bitch was photographed looking wasted earlier today coming out of the Chateau Marmont. She has a history...OH and from what I heard, that Porsche was a rental. Bet that rental company just looooves Lohan now. I hope she gets ripped a new one. The car in the rear position in an accident rarely wins their cases.
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Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!!
Frankly, if you're driving up an 18 wheeler's ass then you're a complete and utter moron.
But we already knew that...
I wish she'd just *poof* and vanish: I am sick to death of her and her entire family.
"FreckleMeth" HAHAHAHAHAHA!
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"Physical violence is the least of my priorities." - Drunken Albertan
Damn, we were so close. (smh)
Truck drivers CAN and DO cut people off. Happened to my sister when she had our infant niece in the back seat. Truck driver got REPORTED! It's carelessness, drugs, or distance perception problems.
BloHan has left the building. NO word on if shooting will be affected.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Sorry kids, but 18 wheelers don't zip in and out of traffic. The PCH is pretty dangerous...and yeah, bitch was most likely texting or jabbering to her assistant when the truck made a lane change. the way her front end was crunched...she was going FAST. That kind of damage does not happen when a truck just cuts you off. Trucks take forever to lane change. Leave it up to loser Lohan to blame anyone else but herself.
<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!!
Who are these idiots who keep working as her assistants?
Hello, you were in the death seat. FreckleMeth must go
through assistants like tissues.
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"I love fast and I love hard."-MK
Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 7:08pm.
...It'll be interesting to see what the producers of "Diz & Lick" (credit to a Dlister, I can't remember which, sorry!) say and do now.
LOLOL that somebody remembered! Yeah, Diz & Lick is what I keep calling it.
LiLo was totally high to have caused that kind of damage. You can't help but see an 18 wheeler come up beside you & pull over. Years ago, I learned to back the hell off and let the big trucks get where they need to get on the highway. My car weighs MAYBE 1,800 lbs. Truck & trailer = 80,000 lbs. Eighty thousand pounds CANNOT just stop on a dime. A Porsche 911, however... :-P
My stepfather was a truck driver for 15 years and says that in his experience, 95% of the time an accident is the car's fault. As another couple of posters said, truck drivers do this for a living, and one screw-up can get them fired, in jail, or kill someone. My stepdad was involved in three accidents during his trucking years; all of them involved a car (truckers call them "four-wheelers," as opposed to 18-wheelers) whose driver wasn't paying attention.
One dude sped up INTO the side of the trailer as Stepdad was making a right turn, thinking he could beat the 53-foot-long, fully loaded van around the corner. HAHAHAHA! Another involved a lady who neglected to see that Stepdad was stopped at a traffic light, and rammed right into his trailer safety bar (turned the front 1/2 of her car into an accordion). Another was texting on the interstate and ran into the tractor right under Stepdad's door. That's where the fuel tanks are. Stepdad said that guy nearly got them both killed: "I was clippin' 16-penny nails with my asshole, time it was over."
When you see an accident involving a big truck, chances are the car messed up. Now, there are some idiot truck drivers out there just waiting to do something stupid/careless and kill folks, but they're relatively few & far between.
Someone on *another site* said that word on the street was treat she crashed on purpose so everyone could get their insurance money.
Yeah, like she would ever do anything for anyone else. She's probably NEVER taken one for the team.
She's probably been TAKEN by a team, though. Two at a time, probably.
While I'm sure P.A. is Hollywood speak for dealer, whoever the person is was smart enough to get medical documentation for when they join the line of people suing Lindsay. The car is, without a doubt, a lease deal that was probably put on the Lifetime network tab while she worked for them.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
Submitted by doncorleone on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 7:27pm.
Holy Wilde! It makes perfect sense now! Strange and evil magicks are the only explanation for why she hasn't died yet.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
The original Lohan shows the Lohan-wannabe how it's done.
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The man's as gay as a picnic basket.
It's a shame about the poor car getting trashed.
having driven on the PCH many times in southern and northern CA i can't really throw shade at her this time. many many NASTY curves throughout that road. i hate it and only drive on it when it is the only way to get where i'm going
but, yeah, no doubt this bitch here was texting and driving
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
God fucking almighty, is she Dorian Gray??? Let's find the painting and slash it so this amoral, blood sucking, judge fucking, crack smoking moron of all time will die and go away. Also, Jesus said it wasn't worth it - His Death. Just sayin'.
She does have nine lives.
I feel sorry for the Porsche. It deserved better.
Wait a minute. Who the hell gave Lohan the keys to a Porsche?
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Penguin...Batman was so wrong about you.
Submitted by Sweetas on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 4:11pm.
This bitch is NOT jinxed! She is a drug addicted whore with a heinous driving record. Of course she will blame anybody else for this collision and her family and fans will enable her delusions and lies. In conclusion, all I have to say is:
MILLIONS OF PORSCHE LOVERS ARE CRYING! _____________________________________________
What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about?
Hate to defend her, but 18 wheelers do that shit all the time.
That's not to say she wasn't probably high on something when it happened.
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Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
Now THIS is the kind of Lindsay Lohan post I like.
Submitted by chewinsmoke: " Ihope so bad they find something in her blood. And I hope the trucker is exonerated. I'm sick of this bitch saying nothing is ever her fault. I'm even more sick of her getting away with everything when the rest of us would be rotting in jail."
Me too. She's out of chances.
It'll be interesting to see what the producers of "Diz & Lick" (credit to a Dlister, I can't remember which, sorry!) say and do now.
This girl is jinxed.
I hope she isn't hurt. I'm actually feeling very very sorry for her.
Base price: $97,350. Avis: "Oops. How should we know she might wreck it?"
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Please: It's "rahnday."
She's lucky she was in a 911 - has about 900 airbags.
Submitted by PoppaDaddy on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 6:40pm.
The Porsche is known for its poor brake response time, just as 18-wheelers are known for speeding along the PCH zipping in and out lanes to pass luxury cars.
Yeah!! She's so suing.
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Please: It's "rahnday."
$1000 says she was texting and driving and just drove right into the back of that guy. Either way, it's always your fault if you rear end someone, not the other way around.
Well clearly she's trying to regain her crown for worst driver from that other famewhore Amanda Bynes.
Yes, because 18 wheeler's are know for their fast, abrupt moves....
LIES LINDSAY!! LIES!!! *smokes apple*
Now that truck driver has one hell of a lot of paperwork. Thanks a lot Linds! You should be glad he didn't know YOU were the driver of the car he couldn't see, behind his GIANT load! ;0
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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The Porsche is known for its poor brake response time, just as 18-wheelers are known for speeding along the PCH zipping in and out lanes to pass luxury cars.
It's your turn, Amanda Bynes, show us what you got! Don't let Lindsay get all the attention.
Wondering if this will affect the insurance on Liz and Dick. Will the insurance company drop her due to this latest caper? Maybe they'll scrap the whole project due to Blohan's astonishing irresponsibility/insanity. One can dream.
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Fair is foul and foul is fair..
@Gigaboob, you're cracking me up! lololol ;D *at least I hope you are* hehe
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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I've Seen Monkey Shit-Fights At The Zoo That Were More Organized Than This Twat.
TMZ reports the Porsche is a RENTAL!! Ha Ha!!
Also no alcohol detected for her or truck driver.
Submitted by Gigaboob on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 6:10pm.
I didn't hear about the shelter but it doesn't surprise me. *starting novena to St. Christopher for watching over her*
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Please: It's "rahnday."
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 6:04pm.
God couldn't have one and Dunned her?
*RIP, Ryan
MILLIONS ARE CRYING
Hell, everybody OFF the interstate when she's coming. Until "Liz & Dick" is finished filming.
I knew that she was channeling Liz, but did she have to re-enact "Butterfield 8"?
Crash upon crash. Have neither she nor Bynes never heard of a fucking Metro Rail daypass?
Submitted by TelevisedRevolution on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 5:55pm.
I like your sig. Who's it by?
OH NO THAT POOR PORSCHE!
What company was the driver working for? Cause Obama is about to put all them bitchezzz out of business when he fires all their scheming asses.