Fifty Shades Of Bitch, Please
Both Deadline and The Hollywood Reporter say that Focus Features has talked to St. Angie Jolie about directing the movie version of the Twatlight fan fiction turned mom cream-churner 50 Shades of Grey. I'm sure Angie Jo will really go from directing a depressing, war drama to directing a Nine 1/2 Weeks for the Twilight set. The chances of that happening are about as slim as KFed and Jessica Simpson starring in a movie for the Food Network called 50 Shades of Gray's Papaya (Side note: Somebody please make that movie happen.)
The rumor sprouted wings of foolery last weekend and quickly made the rounds. THR's sources say that there's a chance Focus had a couple of casual talks with Angie Jolie, but it wasn't that serious. Angie's schedule for the next few months is filled with working a pair of dildo horns as Maleficent and Focus wants to strike while the mom pussy is still hot. Universal and Focus deny that they've talked to Angie. Deadline says that the book's writer will be landing in Hollywood soon to pick out a producer, writer and director.
The Angie Jolie of 10 years ago would've directed this mess, because she was a proud freak and wanted everyone to know she kept a ball gag in her back pocket. The Angie Jolie of today takes herself way too seriously and would only direct this mess if the setting was changed to a war torn country and the main characters were changed to a conflicted soldier and his prisoner. (No, that wasn't me asking for a really wrong mash-up of In the Land of Blood & Honey and 50 Shades. PLEASE NO.) The big-screen version of this wreck shouldn't happen anyway. They're going to scrub out all the sucio parts and fill it with product placement. (SPOILER ALERT, like you care) In the tampon scene, Christian Grey is going to pull out her DivaCup instead of a tampon, because DivaCup outbid Kotex for the honor.
If the writer cared about the integrity (HA!) of her masterpornpiece, she would've sold the rights to Skinemax and asked Shannon Tweed to direct it.
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I´ve read the amazon reviews on this book... A movie adaption could possibly improve on the literary work
I´ve outgrown my submissive fantasies. The idea of being dominated by a 26 yr old just doesnt work for me, even at the age of 21... kids!
Ian Somerhalder for Christian Grey please ?
St. Angie is too old play to Anastasia indeed !
Dont even consider her for Elena or Grace either FFS!
" Oh my heavens , my photo has vanished ! "
jolie is a fame wh*ring piece of shit. everything she does is so calculated..
no amount of child adopting, charity bullsh*t will ever change my mind about her..
Prince Harry for Christian Grey.
Submitted by salacious on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 8:35pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 8:03pm.
*boots open thread door*
Yeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaahhh
See you there?
When can we expect that check from Huvane? I prefer Paypal.
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Fuckin A Sal:)
K2, did you LIKE 50 shades?!!!
#noshame ;)
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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50 Shades of Grey is not for her, even if she's not playing the main character, because this move would look like a way to make people believe so.
Even if they say she's directing and stuff, everyone is going to assume she was chosen to do so because she's such a fucking sex symbol and that's how AngieJo gets work: by being able to --somehow!-- trick assholes that she's so fucking amazing, when she's just like all of us, minus the money, of course.
DO not fuck up my Fifty Shades by putting this bitch's name anywhere near it !!!!!!!!!!!!!
I envision Christian Grey looking like Matt Bomer (but even better looking) ... too bad he's gay:(
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 8:29pm....
That's OK Reason, other than her giant head and pillow lips she does look good her. This is just before her looks went down hill, but that little outfit IS kinda hot.
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hahah Whamo, prepare to be COPY+PASTED and endlessly COMMENTED ON over there shortly LMAO! I can't even, because IT WILL KILL me! Click click like... click click unlike! *Fuck that* hahahahaha You're like a superstar over there with Tamsin et al.
*I think Angie looks hot here, I'd do her. Again Do.not.tell.them.that!* ;D
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 8:03pm.
*boots open thread door*
Yeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaahhh
What's shakin bitches, are you guys causing those poor loons aneurysms?
I think I'll go over and see what's up.
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See you there?
When can we expect that check from Huvane? I prefer Paypal.
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
Submitted by Dog on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 8:06pm.
Whamo, I'm just toying with them.
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That's what it's all about Doggie!
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Submitted by WithinReason... on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 8:06pm.
Say, Angie looks amazing here! Don't tell them I said that ok? LOL
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That's OK Reason, other than her giant head and pillow lips she does look good her. This is just before her looks went down hill, but that little outfit IS kinda hot.
Hellraiser....that's a great idea, except I'd replace Angie with Helen Mirren. Hotness.
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"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
- Yogi Berra
Ennui.
I have not read 50 Shades of S & M yet (my over 55 mother is starting the series now) but it seems like it could be interesting if they flipped the genders. Cast Angelina as wealthy Ms. Grey and cast some young H-wood stud in place of the female character in the book. I guess that wouldn't sit well with the over 30 never-had-good-sex-mommy fan base but for dominant, cool women it could be hot. And men would love it - most would like to be spanked and fucked raw by a hot, rich sugar momma. Ange would need to gain 20-30 lbs first though. She looks great in the pic above. _______________________________________________
What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about?
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 7:46pm.
Submitted by salacious on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 7:43pm
oh shit, i remember seeing that comment and hollering laughing!! kudos, kudos
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Foxxy! The "portuguese guy" is one of my faves too. "He" is there speaking proper english. XD
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
Whamo, I'm just toying with them.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Whamo, have mercy on them!! Is there to be NO reprieve? HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAH
You guys are hilarious! ;D
Say, Angie looks amazing here! Don't tell them I said that ok? LOL
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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*boots open thread door*
Yeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaahhh
What's shakin bitches, are you guys causing those poor loons aneurysms?
I think I'll go over and see what's up.
Submitted by salacious on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 7:51pm.
Way ahead of you. Done and done.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
"I can't stop crying over the lies they're telling about Brad and Angie"??????? Jesus Christ in a cheap saltine box, why don't you losers cry for the poor, downtrodden, victims of crime, etc.? Cry over them??? Man, this is Jonestown all over again, have fun drinking the fucking Koolaid.
Submitted by Dog on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 7:46pm.
Brangeloonies don't get that if Brad and Skankelina ever met them IRL, the wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire.
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LOL. I'll be looking forward to your contributions. :D
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 7:46pm.
Submitted by salacious on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 7:43pm
oh shit, i remember seeing that comment and hollering laughing!! kudos, kudos
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LOL I've been shitting all over the threads and working at the same time. No one can complain. :D
I haven't seen you there yet!
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
Brangeloonies don't get that if Brad and Skankelina ever met them IRL, the wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by salacious on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 7:43pm
oh shit, i remember seeing that comment and hollering laughing!! kudos, kudos
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Sal, the loons are just jellus. Always. BWAH!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by doncorleone on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 7:07pm
Maddox is founder and president of MENSA compared to those delusional mf'ers on JJ...
/see ya there, Dog. you too loons -- i know you're seeing this
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Poor shithead loons, sometimes I feel sorry for them. There was one time when one of them said "Can you please tell Jared to delete these nasty comments from these trolls? I can't stop crying over the lies they say about Brad and Angie!"
Are they 6 years old? I believe it some times.
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
Submitted by Dog on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 7:08pm.
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Doggy! You're famous now! :D See for yourself:
JP Fan @ 06/08/2012 at 7:08 pm
Thumb up Thumb down 0
lol f’in HILARIOUS that on ANgies thread on dlisted the ONLY thing they are talking about is commng here to troll this was the latest comment
“Submitted by Dog on Fri, 06/08/2012 – 7:08pm.
Anyone going to JJ tonight?”
you must be bored as a motherf’er and have no f’in life if the highlight of your Friday is to TROLL a board, is dlisted THAT boring..anyways since we know their plan as I said THUMB DOWN IGNORE they hate it..lol
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
Anyone going to JJ tonight?
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Maddox runs JJ I am convinced of it.
There is one problem with this rumor. Jolie ain't interesting enough for a flea to land on.
When I first saw this pic, I thought MK was gonna say she will be cast as Mrs. Robinson, the dominatrix that seduced Christian Grey. But then I realized AJ don't eat, not Christian Grey's kind of woman.
Submitted by daisydaisy on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 2:07pm.
Great fucking idea. The only problem is, bitch will publicly claim she wrote the script in the attic while dying from flu, just like she did when when she directed that movie nobody saw. You know, that one that was based on the book she insists she didn't know about.
hahaha. Good one. Yeah, her arty film did stinko box office ($309k all in). The kicker is the production budget was $10m. That's what they call a vanity project.
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Please: It's "rahnday."
I am currently reading this book and yep, after ever sex scene, I rub one out.
Daniee, I said the other day that Angie has an ALMOST perfectly symmetrical face and I got 30 something dislikes! Hahahaha
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 05/30/2012 - 10:59am.
I was a skinny, pink preemie. I looked like an earthworm until I was two months old.
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Nightowl, is ready to PARTAY!!!
JJ folk are fucked in the head. I made a comment one time about how Jen Aniston can rock a tight dress and I was nearly torn to bits. Innocent comment, I thought. They are crazay!!
Even MY comments get a lot of negative ratings on JJ (in Angelina's thread) and I'm not even being mean to her! Ahahaha!!
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 05/30/2012 - 10:59am.
I was a skinny, pink preemie. I looked like an earthworm until I was two months old.
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Nightowl, is ready to PARTAY!!!
Off Topic: All I see on JJ are comments deleted due to low ratings. I think you guys need a different M.O. to drive the loons crazier. The wolf in sheep's clothing approach comes to mind. So does the Trojan Horse. I also noticed there are around 28 negative ratings on each deleted post, which leads me to believe there is an alt, or several alts launching attacks on the D's. Some people have too much time on their hands! You need stealth tactics to counter.
As for 50 Shades, all the ladies on Facebook go on and on about it. I have no intention of reading it, just because I read The Story of O, and this is a poor copy of it. Bitches, please.
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Fair is foul and foul is fair..
Submitted by JTROS on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 5:07pm.
Geez...I made one relatively innocuous comment on JJ about this topic and within 4 seconds I had about a dozen thumbs down. They only want to see comments that fellate (errr...cunnilingue??) Angelina Jolie and bash Jen A. It's really, really creepy.
A couple years ago, I was looking at one JA post and one of the first comments was "hidden due to low rating" or whatever the hell it was. I wondered what could be so offensive that it got all these thumbs down to hide the comment, so I clicked to read it and all it said was, "She looks good there." That's insane.
Submitted by Brown-EyedGirl on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 4:38pm.
They really got to screeching and flinging their feces on that one.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That got me. HIlarious.
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Welcome to MelGibsonTown, ya drunk bitch. - Nanners 05/30/2012
Geez...I made one relatively innocuous comment on JJ about this topic and within 4 seconds I had about a dozen thumbs down. They only want to see comments that fellate (errr...cunnilingue??) Angelina Jolie and bash Jen A. It's really, really creepy.
In my head, I picture them as (a) morbidly obese single women (2) who watch The View and QVC regularly (3) while sitting on their plastic-covered sofas (4) in their double-wide trailers (5) as they collect unemployment or disability. Okay, maybe a few are married and have children...but, their kids and husbands hate them.
They're still looning on that same post ?
I got bored without any worthy opponents.
They were cooing about how she got a tattoo on her inner thigh "just for Brad" - I told them it says "abandon all hope, ye who enter here".
They really got to screeching and flinging their feces on that one.
Submitted by salacious on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 12:38pm.
I'm checking it out right now. Have a look, they're only 24 comments short of 3000 on that thread. Once it reaches that number, prepare for the loons to lose their shit and praise the holy couple... "The power of the Jolie" is their chant.
AWESOME!!! Can´t wait to read all that crap!!! You guys did it. 3050 comments and counting. I say bless our precious dlisted trolls. They are obviously beautiful on the inside as on the outside. I am so proud to be a fan.
LOL.
Hekki -
Sorry, but everytime I say anything at JJ they ban me, fucking asshats
Yes, well considering her last attempt at directing did so well, with worldwide ticket sales of less than 400K, she sould be a shoe-in. This is just ridiculous! And those idiots at JJ still defend it by saying that "it was only released in a few theatres" can't answer the million dollar question of WHY it was only in a couple of theatres. Couldn't have possibly been because the movie sucked and was nothing more than Jolies VERY EXPENSIVE vanity project gone bad.
Gotta love those little turds though, they've provided me with hours of head scratching amusement, haha.
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I'm your huckleberry...
No one takes this trick seriously. She should just retire and take care of all her children.
Like a baboons ass.
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
"In the tampon scene, Christian Grey is going to pull out her DivaCup instead of a tampon, because DivaCup outbid Kotex for the honor."
What.. in... the fuck?! Do I really want to know about this?
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
Old pic and wow, has she aged! 37? Alrighty then...
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/08/angelina-jolie-fifty-shades-of-...
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Looks like more crap rolled out by the Queen of self promotion herself.