Don Rickles Being Don Rickles

In case you were wondering if Don Rickles is still that old white coot who sits on a plastic tube lawn chair under his carport and tells racist jokes, he is! 86-year-old Don Rickles has been launching politically incorrect dingles off his tongue for centuries and he did it again at AFI’s tribute to Shirley MacLaine last night. The Hollywood Reporter says that some audience members clutched their pearls after Mr. Potato Head (I’m not just saying that, because that’s the voice did in that Toy Story shit. He kind of does look like an old potato with extra eyes) said some racist shit about President Obama:

“I shouldn’t make fun of the blacks,” Rickles said, and then proceeded to do just that: “President Obama is a personal friend of mine. He was over to the house yesterday, but the mop broke.”
The black-tie crowd, gathered to celebrate MacLaine, the 40th recipient of the AFI’s Life Achievement Award, alternately gasped at the 86-year-old comic’s put-downs and then found themselves laughing and applauding.

But what I want to know is, what the fuck kind of mop does Don Rickles have? How does a mop break? Bitch needs to get himself a Swiffer WetJet or something. The thing is, Don Rickles is still trapped inside of a bubble where it’s always 1950 and most of the world has changed. That’s exactly what the kids will be saying about me in 60 years when I’m sitting on a plastic tube lawn chair under my carport and talking about extra chunky dick cheese and the simple elegance of lucite heels.