Odd Couple Alert: Ellen Page & ASkars

June 7, 2012 / Posted by:

If you put your hand over Ellen Page, you’d sort of know what it would look like if you got to frisk ASkars. How Ellen Page kept herself from tickling ASkars’ armpits with her hat’s lips is beyond me. And yes, that grown man in the bottom right is totally Stefan-ing out of his mind, because he can’t believe the Swedish essence of ASkar pits is blowing his way.

The oddest pairing since Kunty Karl and Choupette went to a Stanley Cup finals game at the Staples Center in L.A. yesterday and some are saying this means that Ellen is doing a sexy single bar gymnastics routine on ASkars’ peen when the lights go down. Please. It’s true that if you polled the planet’s population, including inanimate objects, on whether or not they’d let ASkars stick the tip in, 99% would grab the butt lube and you ask where the line for that ride begins. When ASkars struts by a rock, the rock finds a way to grow a vagina so he can fuck it. Everybody wants to hump ASkars. But not Ellen Page. I mean, my common sense gene is preventing me from picturing that. They’re just two beautiful lesbians who like to watch sports together. That’s all.

They also did a movie together and I hope it went so well that they work together again in a movie version of the adventures of the Jolly Green Giant and Little Sprout. Because I want to see that.

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