Hot Slut Of The Day!
Choupette Lagerfeld, Kunty Karl's precious Siamese kitten pet and the only creature on this planet whose soul he won't pour onto a white gold soup spoon and slurp on to recharge the orb of death in his chest. Every super villain queen needs a fluffy white pussy to pet while he plans world demotion and Kunty Karl has his.
Choupette became Kunty Karl's sidekick kitty after his human Baptiste Giabiconi asked him to take care of her for two weeks last Christmas. Usually when Kunty Karl lays his eyes on a pile of fluff, he immediately orders his minions to skin it and turn it into a pair of Chanel nipple warmers, but he didn't do that with Choupette. Karl's dead heart cracked open and it started to beat for the first time since he was turned into a zombie vampire centuries ago. Kunty Karl immediately claimed Choupette as his own and hired two full-time maids to take care of her and document her every move in a diary. Kunty Karl tells WWD (via Fashionista):
"She is a famous beauty. She is nine months old. Baptiste gave her to me for Christmas to watch for two weeks when he was away but then I refused to give her back. I thought she was too cute. She is like a kept woman. She has a strong personality. She has lunch and dinner with me on the table, with her own food. She doesn’t touch my food. She doesn’t want to eat on the floor. She sleeps under a pillow and she even knows how to use an iPad. She has two personal maids, for both night and day. She is beyond spoiled.
We do keep a diary. When I am not there, the maids take down, in little books, everything she did, from what she ate, to how she behaved, if she was tired, and if she wasn’t sleeping. In the nine months, we already have almost 600 pages. Colette had written a lot about cats. I am not Colette, but I think it could be funny to make a little book of Choupette’s diary."
That diary must be a thrilling read!
9:25 - We spoon fed Choupette only TWO drops of Diet Coke so she won't get fat, and therefore become unlovable. As per your instructions.
10:15 - We asked the in-house orchestra to play Mozart and we turned our backs to Choupette as she did her business on a bed of raw diamonds. As per your instructions.
10:22 - As one member of your staff cleansed Choupette's non non hole with a cashmere cloth dipped in distilled Diet Coke, we gilded her shit and placed it on the shelf in the altar room devoted to her. As per instructions.
And of course, Kunty Karl gave WWD a picture of his precious working an iPad:
The world was already a strange place and now it's an even stranger place. I mean, Kunty Karl is having actual human feelings for a living, breathing creature? This is not supposed to happen! Nothing good can come out of this. First comes love for a kitteh, then comes Karl declaring he's a vegan, then comes Karl designing a plus-size line for Chanel, then comes Karl adopting the thing he hates most A CHILD (maybe even a fat one) so that Choupette can have a playmate. Then the dark clouds will go away forever and everything will be rainbows, smiley birds and sunshine. I know what's going on here. Choupette is obviously working for Kunty Karl's rival witch Donatella Versace and that pussy's sole mission is to turn him into Snow Fucking White. And she's slowly doing it. Who knew that a fluffy white pussy would be the one to bring down the evil kingdom of Kunty Karl?
(Thanks to everybody who sent this in)
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9:25 - We spoon fed Choupette only TWO drops of Diet Coke so she won't get fat, and therefore become unlovable.
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...BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!....
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...'It's as if he's using the paint to represent something he's seen'...
Glad to see something finally melted his evil cold heart.
Diamond/Taste of the Wild Pet Food Recall - http://www.diamondpet.com/information/
www.petfinder.com - enter your zip code to find adoptable pets in your area.
www.animalrescuesite.com - click everyday to help feed animals in shelters.
Thamar,
Enzymes work to kill smell, if there is a cleaning supply shop near you try to get some. It cheaper than stuff the vet used to sell me.
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
I have my doubts that these maids are paid well. Rich people always expect something for nothing unless it is something STOOPID-then they pay insane amounts to impress people.
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
Awww love this story MK and the comments. LOL*100!
OT. My cat got into it with a skunk two days ago. Smells is almost gone. Oh Jesus and we are scheduled for an appraisal. Ha ha. Karl's story excellent MK!
This is why Europe needs austerity. Kunty, and the people he serves, are increasing private sector hiring by doing 2 for 1 maid deals to babysit pets 24 hrs a day. To be fair, the maids are probably getting paid more than me and a lot of others.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
Ugh. Don't post stories that humanize Kunty Karl. I prefer him as the ghoulish fashion gremlin and destroyer of actress and model self-esteem.
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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
This post had me trying desperately to not blow my shit in front of my co-workers, reading this in Kunty Karls voice didn't help either.
I would love to be that pampered pussy.
"She has two personal maids, for both night and day."
*goes to pantry, cracks bottle of Svdeka (purchased on sale), proceeds to drink whole thing*
I want that maid's job.
Whamo - Even more so in the fashion world where the weirder you are, the more loved you seem to be.
Jack- I don't feel that sorry for the maids. Taking care of a cat isn't exactly difficult and they probably make more then any 5 of us combined.
Cute kitty.
Baptiste fucked up his gold digging game, now the cat is going to inherit everything!
Can you blame Choupette after all she's seen in Karl's dungeons of doom? Sure she has two maids but she knows KKarl is undead! Imagine being in that bedroom during a sacrifice!! Her "non non hole" must gape! :O And the maids are in on it... Choup's probably digging the tunnel as they're writing "Sat around... yawned... slept" hahahaha Karl is all loveydovey but he also eats his victims! Fuck that! Go after Donatella, she's a school girl compared to this Choupette, she only drinks blood, RUN!
Lol at "get fat, and then become unlovable" ;D
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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For all his money and experience, his world is so fucking small to be THAT entertained by a fuckin' kitty.
Have a pet "person of walmart" at least they would be more intereesting.
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
I'd rather be dead than that maid.
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"I didn't know whether to shit or go blind, so I closed one eye and farted"
Choupette is just Mini Karl. It *is* odd to see Karl show a wisp of human warmth.
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Please: It's "rahnday."
My kittens treat my iPad like a disco dance floor....
. She sleeps under a pillow and she even knows how to use an iPad.
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Knows how to use an iPad...WTF!?....It's Steve Jobs Re-encarnated.
Man some people have been so rich for so long they fucking lose their grip on reality. Hey I've always been a "it's your money burn the shit if you want" type guy but that doesn't mean I don't shake my head and give em a big WTF???
What a cute kitty. Although I think that's a ragdoll, not a siamese. But I could be wrong.
And yes, its the height of obnoxious to have 2 maids for your cat. Ridiculous.
wow. but that pussy sure is adorable.
Who in their fucking mind agrees to be a personal maid to a cat? Unless her is paying them 10 grand an hour and 80% off Chanel then bitches need to leave.
Nothing to see here, folks. Wish I had two maids to cater to my Tiger.
Ipad-pfft; Tiger has a FB page AND he can reboot Daddy's laptop when it crashes!
How fucking humiliating would that maid's job be???
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers