Cheryl Cole’s Vocal Cords Were Singed By Prince Hot Ginge’s Presence, Obviously

June 7, 2012 / Posted by:

Above is a video from The Queen’s Diamond Jubilee concert of Gary Barlow and Cheryl Cole kicking, choking, stabbing, murdering, skinning and eating the face off of Lady Cerebellumorwhatever’sNeed You Now.” If a pile of shit could sing, it would sound like that video. If you’re looking for the perfect way to say “I hate you” to your ears, just press play on that mess. Cheryl’s vocal cords sound like they’re hungover and sad. But in Cheryl’s defense, she was talking to Prince Hot Ginge backstage.

The Daily Mail says that Cheryl and PHG got close and talked for a long time before exchanging numbers. If you were standing in front of PHG, your vocal cords would start tingling, your tonsils would swell up (because the tonsils are the clit of the mouth…why did I type that?) and you’d have to use all your strength on keeping your jaw shut since it naturally wants to open when in front of his royal ginger hotness. So this time, Cheryl has a valid excuse for sounding like a deaf, drunk walrus doing bad karaoke.

And more importantly, why in the Hell are they singing that song for The Queen? I bet when 1:15 rolled around the next morning, The Queen was really disappointed that neither Gary Barlow nor Cheryl Cole drunk dialed her ass.

Our commenting rules: Don't be racist or bigoted, or post comments like "Who cares?", or have multiple accounts, or repost a comment that was deleted by a mod, or post NSFW pics/videos/GIFs, or go off topic when not in an Open Post, or post paparazzi/event/red carpet pics from photo agencies due to copyright infringement issues. Also, promoting adblockers, your website, or your forum is not allowed. Breaking a rule may result in your Disqus account getting permanently or temporarily banned. New commenters must go through a period of pre-moderation. And some posts may be pre-moderated so it could take a minute for your comment to appear if it's approved. If you have a question or an issue with comments, email: michaelk@dlisted.com

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >