From The Not-So-Scandalous Files: John Travolta’s 6 Year-Long Gay Affair With A Pilot

June 6, 2012 / Posted by:

Before John Travolta hired Kelly Preston as his full-time face merkin and terrorized massage therapists with his gaping, powderless donut hole, he rode on the wings of butt sex love with his pilot Doug Gotterba. That’s what John’s former secretary, Joan Edwards (read that as John Edwards or Joan Holloway if you this story is already bland for you), and Doug’s ex-boyfriend, Robert Britz, tells The National Enquirer (via Radar). They both say that shortly after Doug started working for John in 1981, the two started doing it on the down low. How many times do you think they did it in the cockpit and how many times do you think John asked Doug, “Do you want to cock my pit?

Joan Edwards, who worked for John from 1978 to 1994, says that she’s always known John likes to gobble peen with his b-hole and she never cared. After Doug became part of John’s staff, he and Joan hit it off. Doug confessed to Joan that he was sexing on John regularly. Robert Britz, who dated Doug after John, tells the Enquirer that Doug and John’s relationship wasn’t exactly the epitome of romance. It all started, because John kept grabbing at Doug’s crotch. Doug finally gave in, because the job was “lucrative” (translation: bitch got paid). Robert also says that he watched a video of Doug and Robert hanging out topless in a hotel room together:

“I personally saw about two minutes of Doug’s home video showing John Travolta sitting at the end of a bed with his shirt off. There were plates of food in front of him. The video appeared to be shot in a hotel room. Doug made it clear that it was very lucrative for him to be what he called John’s ‘personal right hand man’ and homosexual partner.”

Just like how most love stories of our time end, Doug stopped fucking John, because he suddenly became grossed out by John’s hairy bear body.

All of these gay sex stories about John Travolta pretty much have the same theme. John is always going after dudes who have no interest in diving deep into his sugar walls. The ones that do it, do it for the cash and not because they want to. Humping on a dude who is rolling his eyes, playing Sudoku on his phone and cutting off his cuticles with a tiny pair of scissors doesn’t sound like a good time to me. “That’s funny should say that because….” – my last boyfriend

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