Open Post: Hosted By Lulu The Pole Dancer
After popping out two kids, Lulu the Body ached to tame the pole with her thighs again and spent a long time training to show off her "throw that fupa up in the air" skills on America's Got Talent. Lulu got her chance last night and no, she won't be polishing the pole with her coochie in front of Howard Stern anymore. Lulu got the three Xes of death. I would've Xed Lulu too for two very important reasons:
1) DEM FEETS. How are you going to come on stage looking like you've been river dancing on charcoal dust in a barbecue pit?
2) How are you going to scissor the pole without wearing a pair of exquisite lucite heels?!
The second one is the most offensive and Lulu should know better. If pole dancing was an Olympic sport, coming to the mat without the heels of the angels on your feet would get you an automatic DQ.
via Gossip Cop
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Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 5:47pm.
I was referring more to the hard ass fall she took... pole dancing/stripping does 2 things for me... jack. and shit.
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I can understand that, I think if I were a dude, I would feel the same way. Not my pole she twirling around, so meh, fuck it...You gotta admit though, she was twirlin her twat out until that pole decided it wasn't gonna let her be great.
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I want you to get on them fat chubby knees and take muh manhood in to your sugarwalls!-Early Cuyler -Squidbillies-
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 5:48pm.
I've never had a problem with people thinking I am "politically correct". If it were my sister I would have sent a text "WELL FUCK YOU THEN!!" but that's just me.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Yeah, you guys have heard this story before. It's just that it rears its ugly head every so often.
I really just want to let her know that she's pissing me off and I know what she's up to.
I'll hold back for now, but at some point, I'm gonna blow. She's not responding to my mother, either.
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 5:46pm.
I was referring more to the hard ass fall she took... pole dancing/stripping does 2 things for me... jack. and shit.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 5:26pm.
JTROS: You just have to be a cunt, that's all. The only people who seem to get ahead are incompetent, self-promoting, ass-kissing toadies.
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I'm a bitch when it's required - but I have a hard time being a cunt. (I think there's a huge difference)
Re: your sister:
That really sucks. Trust me when I say this:
Deaths in families do very, very strange things to people. Sometimes it brings people closer together. But, I've also seen alot of "Dad always loved you more so I'm going to use this process to exact my revenge on both you and Dad." People also love to play the martyr card to garner sympathy from outsiders.
I have found it impossible to reason with those kinds of people when they are in that "place". She will either snap out of it, or she won't. But, confronting her now may not be the best idea because there isn't a delicate way to do it. Feelings are too raw at this time. Just keep doing what you are doing & stay above it. Be there for your Mom.
Also - your Mom can request a copy of your Dad's death certificate as the surviving spouse. It should be like $30 or so for a certified copy, cheaper if it doesn't need to be certified (depending on the state).
Submitted by guest on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 5:45pm.
> HI.
I didn't respond in the other thread because I didn't want the mods jumping my shit for getting off topic...
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 5:34pm.
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN
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You liked that, didn't you, Jack?
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I want you to get on them fat chubby knees and take muh manhood in to your sugarwalls!-Early Cuyler -Squidbillies-
Submitted by tojo on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 5:43pm.
LOL!! :P
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Lmao! At least she coordinated her eye shadow with whatever it is she was wearing.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 4:58pm.
I saw a hot-mop roofing company today named "Wetarredit." A little un-PC perhaps, but funny.
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There's a local produce grower in my neck of the woods called "Kegel's Produce."
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 5:36pm.
AHAHHAHAHAHHAAA!! WASH YO FEETS!
Seriously. That is just gross.
The most shocking part was that she could do a split.
Also, I went to school with a fat girl who danced. She wasn't as big as Big Red here, but she was pretty big. But she was very flexible and sooo graceful and when she was dancing, you'd forget her size. She was talented.
This girl is trying, but...NO.
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I agree, some bigger people are surprisingly very agile and graceful, then again they put forth effort and dignity in to it.
I hope no one smells that pole..I don't think burnt cottage cheese would be all that pleasant of a smell
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I want you to get on them fat chubby knees and take muh manhood in to your sugarwalls!-Early Cuyler -Squidbillies-
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 5:33pm.
Submitted by tojo on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 5:31pm.
Yes!! and it matched my banana hammock!!
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pics plz...;)
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...the end
feel bad for that pole - weight limit is usually about 200 - 250 lbs.
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what's in your taco?: a. chicken b. beef c. fish d. QUEEF
Hekki- I had something similar to what bacon slut said and backspaced over it. No one's behavior exists in a vacuum. I'm sure you are not the first or last she's pulled this p/a junk with.
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 5:24pm.
Free Therapy -- I mean Open Post?
Since the shitshow that was my dad's memorial service, my sister has only answered texts from me that concern the legal, estate issues. And she's been a terse, cunty bitch in those.
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Contact all the members in your family and tell them that you are VERY concerned about your sister because she won't open up and you think she might be heading for a breakdown. Tell them you've tried to help from day one and she insists on carrying the full burden and that worries you to NO end and please do they have any advise because you've tried EVERYTHING!
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...the end
The second one is the most offensive and Lulu should know better. If pole dancing was an Olympic sport... Exhibit A
I am sorry, that was gross. Fucking gross. Not only is she fat fat fat, she is ugly too.
I am not eating anything else for the rest of the day.
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You need protection from the physical art of conversation
Though the fist is mightier than the lip, it adds the aggravation
Submitted by boredasfuckyo: "...bitch couldn't wash her feet before she got on stage? What the fuck what she doing? Putting out cigaretts with her feet? Fucking disgraceful"
AHAHHAHAHAHHAAA!! WASH YO FEETS!
Seriously. That is just gross.
The most shocking part was that she could do a split.
Also, I went to school with a fat girl who danced. She wasn't as big as Big Red here, but she was pretty big. But she was very flexible and sooo graceful and when she was dancing, you'd forget her size. She was talented.
This girl is trying, but...NO.
@Hekki
I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this. Do you think that calling her out will change anything? It sounds like she's pretty intent on staying on the path that she is on. I'd be willing to bet that others will take notice of her behavior and recognize it as what it is--passive aggressive BS. I would say to do whatever is best for you and your immediate family.
*hugs*
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
Fuck, at least she's got self-confidence and doesn't give a fuck. Props to her, even if I did feel a little embarassed watching that. Wash yo feets, gurl.
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 5:30pm.
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 5:24pm.
She's getting a perverse glee out of letting you twist in the wind wondering what you did. You didn't do anything and she's the one with the problem, not you. I would just leave her alone. Go through the county and get the death certificate. Dealing with government bureaucracy is probably easier then dealing with family crap.
Submitted by tojo on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 5:31pm.
Yes!! and it matched my banana hammock!!
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Hekki - sounds like your sister is playing the woe-is-me, attention seeking game... wanting other people to feel sorry for her for dealing with it "alone"... she doesn't respond to you so she can validate her bullshit. If she responds she is not dealing with it "alone".
^not sure if this makes sense after reading it back but it did as I typed it.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by smokeybaconflavour on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 5:23pm.
I was raised to be humble and considerate and to put other people first and that's a load of shit.
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Hear, hear! My momma raised me the same way! She'd wash my mouth out with soap AND beat my ass with either a wooden spoon or a belt if she heard me being an inconsiderate braggart.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 5:02pm.
where's snowy? Here's one of the places we went this past weekend... IT'S A FUCKING PIRATE FESTIVAL!!!! hahahahahaha it's called Billy Bowlegs Festival...
http://hsvracing.com/phpBB2/files/billys_192.jpg
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Did you wear a patch?!
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...the end
---> this bitch did a better job and she busted her ass at the end
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qwvc-RUKOSM
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I want you to get on them fat chubby knees and take muh manhood in to your sugarwalls!-Early Cuyler -Squidbillies-
Green eyeshadow? How trashy...
And no way this hefer is 27!
She looks like she's wearing a fat suit, and bitch couldn't wash her feet before she got on stage? What the fuck what she doing? Putting out cigaretts with her feet? Fucking disgraceful
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I want you to get on them fat chubby knees and take muh manhood in to your sugarwalls!-Early Cuyler -Squidbillies-
Oh, come the fuck on! If people'd rather see Octomom on the pole, you're ass is dead. fucking. wrong.
Thanks for ruining my buzz, bitch!
*goes to get more wine*
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 5:07pm.
Submitted by JTROS on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 5:01pm.
How big are their tits?
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Oh, jack...lol!
(some of said bitches are dudes, some are ladies)
But, you reminded me of this d-bag lawyer in Chicago who was sanctioned for placing an ad on Craigslist seeking an "energetic woman" for "general secretarial work, some paralegal work and additional duties for two lawyers" (additional duties included having sex with each or both at the same time). The ad asked women to send a resume, photographs and a description of their physical features, including measurements.
http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2011-11-30/business/chi-immigration-a...
JTROS: You just have to be a cunt, that's all. The only people who seem to get ahead are incompetent, self-promoting, ass-kissing toadies.
My SIL being a prime example.
Free Therapy -- I mean Open Post?
Since the shitshow that was my dad's memorial service, my sister has only answered texts from me that concern the legal, estate issues. And she's been a terse, cunty bitch in those.
If I send a text asking how she's holding up, if she's okay, what's up, she won't answer. I asked her again today why she won't answer personal questions. NO ANSWER.
Now I've known her for 40 years and I know she's playing a passive-aggressive game with me. But it's really pushing my buttons. She's pushed everyone away, including my mother and her (my sister's) boyfriend and I KNOW she's telling everyone that she's handling everything all alone and she's been abandoned by her family. Meanwhile she's not returning my mom's calls or responding to my personal texts. I want to call her out on it.
What do you horz think?
P.S. I told her my mother wanted a copy of my father's death certificate (sister has several) and she asked "What does she need it for?"
Submitted by JTROS on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 5:01pm.
Vent:
I've noticed lately that several miserable bitches that I'm acquainted with are landing these AMAZING jobs, getting raises, etc. I don't get it. They have terrible attitudes, no real work ethic and not much experience. How does this happen?? I know some of it is due to connections, but some of it is...I have no idea!
I've gotten nothing but praise and respect from my prior bosses, but these sad sacks have been "laid off", fired and forced out of jobs. How do they even get to the interview stage?
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I know! This miserable bitch that was my boss just quit and left for a considerably higher paying / higher level job than she had before. I don't get it because she was a moron and sucked at her job. She knew jack shit about anything. How the hell do these people get these promotions? I don't understand how anyone could possibly give her a good reference unless she's letting them feel up her big fake titty balls or sucking their dicks.
I think my problem is that I was raised to be humble and considerate and to put other people first and that's a load of shit... When I have a kid, I'm teaching it to be the biggest loud mouth arrogant fuck they can be, because that's who gets ahead in this world.
Anyway...bitter angry rant over
...on another note, I can't hate on Mimi for her choice in men. I'd totally fuck Nick Cannon....
SUCK IT, M.E.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Have a good one, M.E.!
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
Or maybe when I get home I can get iPad time and play.
We shall see.
Ok, really out this time.
KKTHXBAI!
Butt Pirate Festival!
I cannot get motivated to go workout today. Even Lulu here isn't helping.
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 5:09pm.
Bye, M.E.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 5:09pm.
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Later alligator:)
Ok ho's. I'm out.
Maybe I'll have time to play tomorrow.
Submitted by Sweetas on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 5:07pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 5:00pm.
She almost turned that pole into the St Louis Arch.
LMFAO!! Yeah. *hands pole a tissue and a beer*
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LOL!!
Good girl, BSF! In THIS case, it's better to regret something you haven't done than something you HAVE.
I forget if you're married, though. Are you?
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 5:05pm.
Are you a Pirate aficionado in California?
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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Submitted by JTROS on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 5:01pm.
How big are their tits?
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
I wonder if it would have been better with a fixed pole...
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 5:00pm.
She almost turned that pole into the St Louis Arch.
LMFAO!! Yeah. *hands pole a tissue and a beer*
I do like Nick Cannon more now, though.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 5:02pm.
IT'S A FUCKING PIRATE FESTIVAL!!!! hahahahahaha it's called Billy Bowlegs Festival...
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All I know is I'm getting hammered just looking at that picture.