Obama Is Going To Get Right On This
Lindsay Lohan's unofficial drunk mess protégé, Amanda Bynes, was charged today with DUI for allegedly sideswiping a cop car and driving away while the sweet nectar ran through her veins. Amanda refused to take a blood test or a breathalyzer, and she later claimed she never drinks. So we should just assume she's a natural wreck. Amanda further proved that point today by asking President Obama to put on his Captain Save A Ho hat and help her out.
If Amanda was joking, then she should start a career in comedy writing, because ho knows how to bring on the laughs. If Amanda wasn't joking, then she was definitely lying through her Tweet about the "I don't drink" thing, because her brain was obviously under the influence of booze, the bad shit and everything in her medicine cabinet when she wrote that shit.
And I know Obama has better things to do than deal with this trick, so I'll respond so he doesn't have to:
Hey @AmandaBynes Fuck off. The end. - bo