The Only Part Of Last Night's MTV Movie Awards That Matters

The MTV Movie Awards was an unnecessary pile of useless dingles, but it was still the best thing MTV has aired in years and that's because during the Twatlight and Hunger Games appreciation ceremony, chronic panty cream-inducer Joe ManJello came out as Big Dick Richie, his character from Magic Mike, to give the "Most Transformed" award to Elizabeth Banks for wearing a pink wig in THG.

Never mind that Joe ManJello basically called your vagina and my no-no hole an ax wound (that's what my doctor calls it, so I'm used to it) by wielding a giant ax around like it was his dick, why did Matthew McConaughey and Channing Tatum stay on the stage when he came out? How can one fully fap to Joe ManJello when Matthew's T-Rex arms and Channing Tatum are in the same shot? I can't focus on Joe when I'm too busy wondering why Channing Tatum is starting to look like a bloated 35-year-old high school gym teacher who always drunkenly cries about how he had to turn down an invitation to the NFL tryouts because his girlfriend got knocked up.

And is it wrong of me to secretly wish that Joe ManJello's film and TV career dries up so that he has to start doing hardcore gay porn to pay his gym membership and protein shake bills? I mean, with cum gutters like those.....

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 8:09am.

Submitted by loopygorilla on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 9:12am.
i just want to straddle joe and thats the end of the story
*******

Well, OK Loopy. You seem like a nice guy, so go ahead. ;)

************

Submitted by loopygorilla on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 7:42am.

i just want to straddle joe and thats the end of the story.

Submitted by caiyuer on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 7:10am.

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Submitted by Lope on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:57pm.

Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 5:14pm.
I've liked her ever since Scrubs, and I still like her. Lucky Betch!

That's funny- I thought I was the only one who saw her as the girl from Scrubs. Every time I see her I think of her as that character.

Submitted by Whatever on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 4:46pm.

Is it the tweens that watch this shit? Some of these people come across as so smug and trying to promote the shit movies that are coming out is a joke.

Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 3:44pm.

I've liked her ever since Scrubs, and I still like her. Lucky Betch!

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I want you to get on them fat chubby knees and take muh manhood in to your sugarwalls!-Early Cuyler -Squidbillies-

Submitted by saltydog88 on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 2:33pm.

Yummmy, I've had a big crush on him since he was on One Tree Hill circa that busted mess where they played X-treme Basketball and then he showed up on True Blood all hot and bearded and it was love

Submitted by whogonchkmeboo on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 2:21pm.

Joe Manganiello is the old Britney Spears.

Submitted by Preferred Username on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 2:18pm.

Thanks for the congrats. I met with the atty newly assigned to me. See you in the OP...

Submitted by Paquita on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 1:25pm.

Congrats Preferred Username!!!

I don't think Channing Tatum or whatever his name is is hot... not even a little...

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!
http://lif3d3sign.tumblr.com/

Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 1:15pm.

I've never found The Texas T-Rex attractive until I saw the "Magic Mike" trailer. Now I want to date a guy who looks like him and climaxes while shouting, "Alright. Alright. Alright."
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.

I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 1:14pm.

Elizabeth Banks, Tatum and McConaghey are in the photos? where? can't see them

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Submitted by Orangina on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 12:55pm.

HOLY SHIT! I already envied Elizabeth Banks because she's the blonde i want to be, and now I envy her even more.

Submitted by harlow on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 12:48pm.

::licks chops:: (btw congrats to preferred on the raise! Live it up)
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"that's the first time i had dick in my mouth, and that's the last time i'm going to choke on it.." Dani

Submitted by the original be... on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 12:46pm.

Lucky, lucky bitch!

Submitted by rukiddingme on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 12:30pm.

The hell with Matthew and Channing, I would have been all over ManJello. Dang!

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Submitted by Gardening Girl on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:12am.

ME, you so nasty!

Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:11am.

*not looking at ManJello's face*

That is the sexiest acceptance speach ever.

Submitted by tojo on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:11am.

lol MJT, I'm teasing...
I think Jack has mentioned what type of guy you prefer so I thought I would just give you a hard time! :)

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...the end

Submitted by Preferred Username on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:11am.

Lunch on me horz...got a fat raise. I posted the news under B-day sluts. I was so excited...I meant to post my news here. Sorry I know its not OP yet.

*triez to breathe slowly and look cool*

Submitted by skinny fat on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:09am.

I think he's fug.

Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:07am.

I just came.

Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:01am.

Submitted by tojo on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 12:29pm.

I don't really see him as beefy. In great shape - yes but not beefy. I guess I should say I am not a big fan of white guys with brunette hair. Does that make me sad bad? Eek.

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Welcome to MelGibsonTown, ya drunk bitch. - Nanners 05/30/2012

Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:00am.

*slides off chair*

Dayum

______________________________________________

How can a man be a mom?

*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-

Submitted by Lily85 on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:59am.

Let me go fan my lady parts then I'll get back to comment on this important event.

I truly believe that you haven't begun to scoop up all of life's beautiful moments until you've heard the line "Watch the wig!" from a piece while sitting on their face. - MK

Submitted by tojo on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:59am.

MissJaneTexas the guy in your avie is beefy and brunette!?

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...the end

Submitted by Mayo on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:58am.

can i have some of that? OMG Manjello is hot!

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"If I can't be my own, i'd feel better dead"- Nutshell

Submitted by skinny fat on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:51am.

they say aniston was drunk when she accepted her award (some award, some shit from MTV). where's that vid?

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:49am.

I like a good piece of meat like the next girl,or guy, but NOT going to see Magic Tatum.

Submitted by letinstar on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:48am.

manjello should walk around every single day wearing outfits like this...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr

Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:46am.

I mean I wouldn't kick him out of bed but he is too beefy and brunette for my taste. Hot definitely but just not my type. For some reason the only beefy guys I like are light headed (see: Chris Hemsworth...YUM).

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Welcome to MelGibsonTown, ya drunk bitch. - Nanners 05/30/2012

Submitted by Saul Good on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:41am.

That lucky bitch.

Submitted by Gigaboob on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:41am.

His body is hot and he seems like a fun guy, but I dunno, he doesn't do it for me.

*makes appt with gynecologist*

Submitted by WithinReason... on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:36am.

Elizabeth is a lucky bitch but she didn't grind on Manjello enough! She could have jumped climbed him, then slid down for whatever she had to say... Lol how AllManjello is totally into the part but MK, it is very wrong of you to wish that on him hehehehehe He's done it, it's just not been hacked yet!

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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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