Nobody Wants To Make Out With Kristen Stewart
RPattz, whose scalp makes a cameo as the enchanted forest in Snow White & The Huntsman, was too busy doing more important things (like deep conditioning his taint hair or whatever) to show up to last night's MTV Movie Awards, so Kristen Stewart had to accept their award for Best Kiss by herself. KStew tried to make a joke out it by begging Charlize Theron, Thor, Taylor Lautner or ANYBODY to get up there and put their lips on hers. Charlize couldn't do it, because she was backstage putting her lips on a bong she made out of one of those popcorn trophies. Taylor Lautner couldn't do it, because he's not one to put his mouth on lady lips for free. So KStew asked herself, WWJAD (What would Jennifer Aniston do?) and the answer was: make out with herself!
You know, what KStew lacks in acting skills, she makes up for in awkwardness. She is beyond awkward. This one time when I was 8 or 9, I walked in on my one-legged stepmother changing her tampon over the toilet in my dad's guest bathroom. Afterward, she sat down next to me at the breakfast table (No, we weren't having tomato omelets, thank God!) and we ate in silence. If I could take the awkwardness I felt in that moment and mold it into a human person, that human person would be a lot like Kristen Stewart. Just awkwardness running through her veins...
Anyway, here's a few pictures from last night. In order: Jennifer Aniston, Jodie Foster (throwing either a "Where's a strap-on when you really need one?" or "This bitch better not ask me to make out with her!" side-eye), Johnny Depp, Ciara, Christina Ricci, Charlize, Wiz Khaliafaawhatever with Amber Rose, KStew, Emma Stone, Jessica Biel, Chris Hemsworth, Ryan Seacrest with Julianne Hough, Brooke Hogan, Ick & Nast, Jean-Claude Van Damme with guest, Emma Watson, two Fraggle Rock refugees, Marky Mark, Andrew Garfield and Russell Brand.
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Submitted by TrashyWilma on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 2:20pm.
I'm almost certain this girl has an anxiety disorder.
If she did she wouldn't be at an awards ceremony in the first place, never mind on stage. I don't see anyone holding a gun to her head in any of the pictures. I'd prefer it if she just fucks off altogether, since she has no talent and is clearly ungrateful for the luck that keeps getting her cast in movies regardless of that.
Kristen just looks like she stinks.
Ryan Seacrest is looking super cute.
Submitted by skinny fat on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 2:55pm.
Where was Rob Pattinson? Surely he would have kissed Kirsten.
He's doing the press rounds in Europe for his new movie Cosmopolis.
What's with the sweat bands on Jessica Beil's ankles???
Submitted by Janice Second: "...I really think she needs to separate herself from that shit and maybe take on more indie films or serious roles. She's not a super social person and I think doing films with large teen audiences is not for her."
I agree. Mind you, I haven't seen her in anything,but from what I've gathered, I think you're right. She also needs her appearance to be styled differently. I think she needs to find HER niche and she'll be MUCH better off.
Anniston looks the same at EVERY event. I wish she'd either darken her hair, not straighten it or get a different style.
She's so fuckin' bland. It's painful.
Lotta baaaaaaad outfits there.
Who's the one with the kid? She's clearly gorgeous, but I want to burn that dress. (Not while she's in it - get your heads out of the gutters.)
And Emma Stone is, of course, beautiful but...no. On the dress and the hair.
ETA: Who's Van Damme's GF? She might be the best looking of the bunch.
Why are Ciara, Brooke Hogan and Paris Hilton still making rounds?......their 15 minutes are loooong gone! nobody cares about them anymore
and the LMFOA guys or whatever they're called annoy me so much!
********* SAVE A LIFE. ADOPT A PET *********
If I were famous I wouldn't be caught dead at an MTV awards show. What a joke. Where was Rob Pattinson? Surely he would have kissed Kirsten. Blecch I hate them both. And Johnny Depp looks fucking ridiculous. I don't find him attractive at all. I'll take my pocket boyfriend Jeremy Renner over his stanky ass.
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 2:30pm.
Brooke looks like she should have a big wooden club over her shoulder and a Saber Toothed Tiger over the other.
LEGIT LOL.
Also, I am definitely in the minority here, but I like Kristen Stewart and I'm glad this Twilight movie coming out in the Fall will be the last one. I really think she needs to separate herself from that shit and maybe take on more indie films or serious roles. She's not a super social person and I think doing films with large teen audiences is not for her.
Submitted by coca on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 2:50pm.
LMAO.
I gotta know...which Salvation Army does Johnny Depp shop in to get his wardrobe???
Bwhaaaaa Whamo!
JBiel looks like she's wearing a chenile bedspread.
I can't stop laughing at "Ryan Seacrest with Julianne Hough"
Submitted by TrashyWilma on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 2:20pm.
Anyway, Kristen Stewart serves as a reminder as to why I don't want to be famous. I'd hate these award shows as much as her and sit in the audience with a sour disposition until my time came to get up onstage and then I'd make a complete ass out of myself. Why? Like Kristen, I'm a nervous wreck. I'm almost certain this girl has an anxiety disorder.
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I couldn't do that either, because I'd turn into Jelly. I'd end up running crying from the stage after stammering, sweating, swearing and inadvertently offending 70% of the power players in H'Wood.
But one ends up as an actor/actress by accident - certainly not at her level of fame. If it's such a, like, total burden that she can't be bothered to brush her hair (srsly? WTH?) then she could always just not star in films. Or even go into TV, or theatre. She's not trapped.
What the hell is with her going "tsk, tsk!" Is she calling horses ffs??
I can't wait until she's over.
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
Submitted by Lisbet459 on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 2:44pm.
BRUSH YO' GODDAMN HAIR!
*deep breath*
/lmfao
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
did body glove design emma's dress?
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 2:01pm.
???? Is she wearing keds with a dress?
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M.E, she thinks that she is the hippest of the hipsters..
BRUSH YO' GODDAMN HAIR!
*deep breath*
I get that she's pretty, even though I don't rate her as an actress.
But how unprofessional do you have to be to not even brush your hair at a professional engagement? We know you don't enjoy it, love, but try to act like the grown woman you allegedly are.
Or you could just not show up!
I would!
I love Emma Stone with her natural hair color (somewhat). I think she looks super pretty! <3!
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
I'm not a big fan of hers...she was terrible in the first Twilight...I never saw anyone blink so much it was completely distracting...I do think her bf is cute...too cute for her.
She makes me cringe! Talk about arrested development! She keeps expecting a laugh or a cheer from the audience that never comes: Reporters ask me like, won't you be glad when this is done and I'm like, Shut up!
*crickets*
Can someone giver her speaking lessons or a Xanax? I'd rather watch a drunk Aniston than an awkward shit for brains.
Brooke looks like she should have a big wooden club over her shoulder and a Saber Toothed Tiger over the other.
M.K. your stepmother sounds so delightful is every story you tell...:(
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...the end
Kristin Stewart has an interview in this month's Elle and she comes across as a complete moron.
"This one time when I was 8 or 9, I walked in on my one-legged stepmother changing her tampon over the toilet in my dad's guest bathroom."
Good god. The one-legged part really pulls that story together. That is fucking gold.
Anyway, Kristen Stewart serves as a reminder as to why I don't want to be famous. I'd hate these award shows as much as her and sit in the audience with a sour disposition until my time came to get up onstage and then I'd make a complete ass out of myself. Why? Like Kristen, I'm a nervous wreck. I'm almost certain this girl has an anxiety disorder.
I can't hate on her. I bet she's ok to hang with and smokes good shit.
Say something nice: Whoever Kristen Stewart is (I don't believe I've seen her in anything, not on purpose. I did see "Water for Elephants" but that was him not her) ---anyway, I'm sure Blohan thinks all Stewart's roles should be hers. So, I don't hate.
MK, you mean you didn't KNOCK first?!?!? bwahahahaha
KStew has a gorgeous face but I can't wait until she outgrows this phase and cringes at her nard self now! llolloll AWKNARD! ;P
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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I don't think she's really shy or awkward at all, I just think she's a smug little shit. Someone who actually struggles with the limelight I'd say is Britney Spears, who just stands there with a look of frozen terror on her face. Kstew's loving every second of her fame, except for the annoying shit like getting your picture taken and attending the MTV movie awards. I'm sure she doesn't mind the money, leisure and pampering though.
Submitted by Lacie Panties on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 2:06pm.
Does anyone know what the heckler said to Mila Kunis that got Mark W. knickers in a twist?
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I think they said..."Hi Mila" !
HONEY WHEN IS THIS SHIT GONNA BE FIXED YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO STEAL CREDIT CARDS WHEN THE SERVER IS DOWN? THEN I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE RUSSIAN BLACK MARKET HONEY AND THEY ARE NOT THE ONES. P.S. KRISTEN IS A FUKKEN IDIOT!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
I can never see these vids, they are always "unavailable in your region"
Anyway I'd make out with Kstew, I think she's kinda cute!:P
Yeah? Well, nobody wants to kiss my asshole either, you don't hear me complaining about it.
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Sir, you killed your date? What in the name of Phil Spector happened?
Are there pics of everyone else? Jen Aniston looks like Marcia Brady from a distance.
Does anyone know what the heckler said to Mila Kunis that got Mark W. knickers in a twist?
This was really, really uncomfortable to watch. I loved that Taylor Lautner was there (he showed up at the end to accept the Twilight award for best movie) but he ignored her pleas. Nobody wants to be part of that trainwreck.
Yup, those look like Keds she's wearing.
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I'm pretty sure she's a lesbian, just saying.
???? Is she wearing keds with a dress?
*yawn*
Poor kid is so physically awkward and graceless. I don't hate her or anything, but I do feel sorry for her.
I suppose it's possible to be an actress/actor and yet have absolutely no social skills. Didn't Charlize sing KStew's praises not that long ago?
Diamond/Taste of the Wild Pet Food Recall - http://www.diamondpet.com/information/
www.petfinder.com - enter your zip code to find adoptable pets in your area.
www.animalrescuesite.com - click everyday to help feed animals in shelters.
Oh good gawd.... she's so miserable.