Hot Slut Of The Day!

June 3, 2012 / Posted by:

Ukraine’s very own Alexander Shtifanov who was described as the world’s best bartender when he gave hos a sweet nectar splash show on Ukraine’s Got Talent. Dlisted reader Raime sent me this clip of Alexander Shitfan’s (which is also John Travolta’s handle on the scat queen message boards) working a bottle like no other and he perfectly described the magic and artistry of the world’s best bartender better than I ever could:

I hope that you will share this life-changing panty creamer, Alexander Shtifanov, as the hot slut of the day. Why? Because he is unlike every other bartender. Most bartenders will ignore your ass for thirty years on a Friday night at SoBe leaving you painfully sober all throughout the night so that you can be awake for the terrible head they give you in the bathroom of Resurrection four hours later. Sad. I know. But this bartender puts on a hotter version of ignoring! He’ll dance and juggle his way to your side of the bar while slo-mo mixing a fancy ass drink for the rich douchebag standing next to you. For this, I elect sexy Alexander from Ukraine… Plus his name sounds like Shit Me Off. Sounds like a good time to me.

If you don’t share this then I will watch an entire season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians which will most likely result in an untimely death due to the vomiting of important organs… like my soul.

The last part really sold me, because I, for one, don’t want any slut to suffer death by Kardashiarrhea. That’s no way to go.

Since my thoughts are always skinny dippy in the deep part of the gutter, while watching Alexander at work, I kept thinking that he must dazzle his hos with a juggling lube bottle show before fuck times. Dude must put the Bellagio fountain show to shame when he squirts the strawberry-scented Wet up in the air and then catches it with his peen.

And even though Alexander has natural talent running through the veins in his fingers, I wouldn’t call him the world’s best bartender. That title belongs to the bartender at a dump bar in Queens who served me a couple of years ago. After I ordered a Jack and soda, dude put a full bottle of Jack in front of me and told me to go wild. That bartender didn’t even care that by putting my mouth on that bottle, I was passing my skank germs to every other customer who put their mouth on that bottle after me. Health department be damned! Now that’s how the world’s best bartender does it.

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