Like he was ever off of it, I know. It’s the golden age of the bad shit and pussy peddling industries again, because Radar said yesterday that Charlie Sheen has been partying it up like Charlie Sheen all night, every night at his mansion in Beverly Hills. Charlie has been getting so high that he grew a third arm (see picture above), because three coke snortin’ hands are better than two. (“How can I grow one of those third arm things?” – Lindsay Lohan)
Charlie’s neighbors say that on most nights, a new set of goddess skanks show up and don’t leave until the morning. Those skanks should keep a lock pick set stashed in their no-no holes just in case Charlie is back to his old tricks and locks them in the bathroom. The neighbors also say that Charlie and his band of warlock-humping hos are making all sorts of noises in his backyard and there’s always random cars parked in his driveway. It would be shocking news if Charlie Sheen wasn’t burying himself at the bottom of a mound of 8-balls and call girl cooch, but TMZ decided to ask him if he’s back on the bad shit anyway. They also asked him if his ex-goddess Brooke Mueller, who’s drying out in rehab right now, is using again. Charlie responded with this statement that sounds like it was taken directly from the mouth of Colonel Kurtz (I think it was). WARNING: High doses of tiger blood-covered fuckery ahead:
I can’t speak to anyone’s opinion or judgement.
I was there
they were not.
hearsay is a baseless
I refuse to be held hostage by their ‘constitutional’
to judge those
who can and who do.
Um….. I’ll take that as a YES. Because if I put my nostril on the bottom of that statement and drag it up while snorting, I’d be as high as Charlie was when he said this shit.