Andy Samberg Won't Be On SNL Next Season
Justin Timberlake's main heartmate Andy Samberg tells The New York Times what all of us have already known. Andy has picked up his dick in the box and sashayed out the Studio 8H exit door right behind Kristen Wiig. Andy says that his contract was up and he felt it was time to move and spend his Saturday nights trying to make his natural curls more luscious with the help of rubber rods and curling custard (Side note: Those two things can also be used as substitutes for dildos and butt lube if you're looking for a quick thrill.)
“It’s an incredibly emotional and strange moment in my life. Obviously it’s not a huge shock, but I did officially decide not to come back. She (Kristen Wiig) kept saying it just feels like it’s her time. I connect with that. Something about it just feels like it’s the moment. My contract’s up and I did so much more than I ever thought I would ever even do.”
Andy will go on to star in a buddy movie with (insert the name of 2012's Queen Latifah here) and a few movies with (insert the name of 2012's Drew Barrymore here) before hosting his own late late late night show on NBC. If I missed anything, just look over the blueprint for Jimmy Fallon's career and fill in the blanks. But seriously, Kristen Wiig gets a huge ass goodbye party and what did Andy Samberg get? Maybe a party in the break room with chocolate cake from KFC? Actually, Andy's send-off sounds better, because who doesn't love chocolate cake that has been in a KFC fridge so long (because who buys chocolate cake from KFC) that it sort of tastes like chicken fumes and coleslaw.
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haven't watched that show in ages....
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Sir, you killed your date? What in the name of Phil Spector happened?
... I hated Bridesmaids and I hope it was a one-off...
I admit I laughed a few times, but overall it was too long and SO overrated....
Submitted by BishPlease on Sat, 06/02/2012 - 3:10pm.
"women cream for him as the perfect man"
this is a joke, right?
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Good. I'm not a Kristen Wiig superfan, but I'm also glad he didn't get the massive send-off she did...but I wonder why that is.
He, his writing, his screen presence, and his handsomeness are insanely fucking overrated. And it's amazing that the most tragic fantasist women cream for him as the perfect man when you KNOW he's not a particularly nice person.
If Andy had had a huge hit like "Bridesmaids" before his contract was up, then yeah, they'd be giving him more than KFC chocolate cake. I loved some of his shorts, but not sure he can even reach Jimmy Fallon-level "success". Good luck Andy! Hope Justin doesn't lose your your number like Eddie Murphy lost Joe Piscopo's!
"I did so much more than I ever thought I would ever even do.”
Us too, Andy. How you ever made it as a "comedian" and "actor" and "singer" is way the hell beyond me. You sure fooled Lorne!
Cute kitty overload.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Really? Does anyone care? I don't even know anyone who watches SNL anymore. They need fresh blood. And I really can't wait to see Kristin Wiig fail at her new "movie career", I hated Bridesmaids and I hope it was a one-off.