Brian McKnight Is Singing About Anal Now....
Brian McKnight is back and he's still using his dirty tongue to flick off musical lyrics about all the ways he can get you off. If it wasn't for Professor McPussyWhisperer, you wouldn't know about female ejaculation and now he's really going for his first Grammy win by moving from the cooch hole to the booty hole. Brian gave the clip of his new ode to ass sex to TMZ and tells them he wrote it as a thank you to YouPorn.com for making his pussy learning song a hit. Yes, a song about dick-on-no-no action. It looks like the Kardashians have a new theme song for their shit show!
TMZ censored the hell out of the clip, but you can still tell that the song is so poetically beautiful that Hallmark should put it into its singing Valentine's Day cards. Here's just a taste of the lyrics and I really mean that, you can actually taste them. You can smell them too (it's like eau de Scientology Center). You might want to slip your tongue into a condom and plug your nose before you go in:
"You wanna see some fucking anal, I can get you close enough to smell."
Highly respected music history professors will be reciting those lyrics in 150 years while lecturing students on the most important musical works of the 21st century. I like the direction Brian McKnight is going and since he's self-appointing himself as the musical encyclopedia of fuck times, can he please croon about felching next?
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People have no dignity anymore.
Still, a cheque is a cheque.
At least he isn't sponging off the taxpayer.
When he performs now, women throw Astroglide trial samples at him.
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Please: It's "rahnday."
I'm just a bit dumbfounded by the McKnight stuff. Hasn't this reached the point where people close to him should be be ushering him to the nearest hospital to see if has a brain tumor or some such shit?
Submitted by Albatross on Fri, 06/01/2012 - 6:03pm.
WTH did I just listen to? Sounded like an auto-tuned commercial for YouPorn. Wha???
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garbage... you just listened to garbage.
that's the shortest answer that can be given to your question without me cursing... your welcome... HA!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
WTH did I just listen to? Sounded like an auto-tuned commercial for YouPorn. Wha???
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No escapin' when I start
Once I'm in, I own your heart.
Brian McKnight should check the wall behind him for pieces of his comeback because he shot it in the face with these videos. It's like the time MC Hammer went from dancing fool to gangsta Don.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
I still think that this is a Joequin Phoenix type of stunt.
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Kitten Kaboodle - a Disney ho who did the ho stroll right ;)
Submitted by TexnDoc on Fri, 06/01/2012 - 2:14pm.
Whenever I see that, I think of New Kids on the Block for some reason. No not "anal" but "Brian McKnight". I suppose that was one of their names.
Jordan Knight? Was that the NKOTB guy? I get those '90s boy bands all mixed up.
OT: This kind of disappoints me. The interwebs are forever, Brian. I know, he's well-known and established, but that doesn't mean he can't ever jump the shark. :-(
"Fighting crazy with the crazy makes the crazy crazier." MK
Really?!?
UGH, how awful!
His time ahead of, this idiot, be must! ;P
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦≈♠░░░░
ya know, i was gonna make a crack about the decline of anything even resembling "music" these days, but then i got to this...
"Highly respected music history professors will be reciting those lyrics in 150 years while lecturing students on the most important musical works of the 21st century."
yep, leave it to MK, and it'll be covered.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
"Submitted by MadgesVadge on Fri, 06/01/2012 - 3:07pm.
I think we're witnessing Brian have some sort of public meltdown."
Yeah, he looks a little too happy in the photo. Something turned a weird switch in his mind.
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"Two whores don't make a right"-- M.K.
"Any guy who values stick thin and young over smarts and personality isn't worth it and has NOTHING interesting to say anyway."-- Mrs. Kravitz
MARVIN GAYE is NOT amused!
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
WHY?!?!?
"Fighting crazy with the crazy makes the crazy crazier." MK
I just feel sorry for his kids really.
Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 06/01/2012 - 2:57pm.
What?? WHAT???
I think we're being trolled.
XxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxXxxxxx
No doubt about it. Where's Dog when we need her.
No wonder his wife divorced him.
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"Being a fucking idiot is a valuable commodity in this culture because you're rewarded significantly." ~~ Jon Hamm
OMG, he's really gone round the bend. I really used to like him, too. What does he hope to accomplish with this crap? Some money, I know - but I doubt anyone will ever take him seriously anymore. I know he'll take up the Jesus card again to "apologize," but all his credibility is pretty much lost.
I'm terrified.....
"Fighting crazy with the crazy makes the crazy crazier." MK
I think we're witnessing Brian have some sort of public meltdown.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
Weeze...I wanta hit *like* on your comment! JINX!
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Fri, 06/01/2012 - 2:44pm.
Maybe he can do a duet with Terence Howard about the importance of using baby wipes for the special lady in your life.
If he likes the smell of ass, I doubt he's going to be into baby wipes. Terence Howard would be his Kryptonite with regards to wiping asses.
This guy probably likes to sniff hash-marked panties.
What?? WHAT???
I think we're being trolled.
This asshole is so full of himself that he thinks it's so fuckin cute to write these songs. FUCK him.
Hey asshole, nobody cares about you anymore and the only way you can get attention is to sing about the difficult brown. You clearly suck at life, so just disappear already.
Maybe he can do a duet with Terence Howard about the importance of using baby wipes for the special lady in your life.
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Submitted by guest on Fri, 06/01/2012 - 2:34pm.
What is wrong with him?!
That's what I said! It's like he has the mentality of a poorly behaved 12 year old. "Even attention for being naughty is better then no attention at all."
Submitted by poconose on Fri, 06/01/2012 - 2:33pm.
Kelly Preston is happy; John is now obsessed with this song instead, though she's ready to scream: "I've been listening to that song for the last 2 hours!"
HAHA! Yikes. Two hours is a long time to try and get off. I'm like twenty minutes tops. It's probably because Kelly makes him nervous that she's going to walk in on his male love doll sex and gay porn on his big screen in the secret gay lair he has built in their home.
I was never a fan of this dude. Always found him a day late and a dollar short. I love r&b and 90s r&b. Current r&b is too raunchy (i dont wanna hear one more idiotic little bastard tell me how he could beat it up) . But McKnight was bland - like smooth jazz . I hate that shit.I don't knock anybody's hustle but I wish he would go back to 1, sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up.
Let C Breezy or that yodeler Trey Songz put "the assy in classy".
What is wrong with him?!
Submitted by Fat Lady on Fri, 06/01/2012 - 2:24pm
Revolta is mainlining a peen to his rectum as we type! Strawberry lube foreverrrr.
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Kelly Preston is happy; John is now obsessed with this song instead, though she's ready to scream: "I've been listening to that song for the last 2 hours!"
all he did was sing about the website...LAME!
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Submitted by TexnDoc on Fri, 06/01/2012 - 2:14pm.
Whenever I see that, I think of New Kids on the Block for some reason. No not "anal" but "Brian McKnight". I suppose that was one of their names.
It was Jonathan Knight (don't ask me how I remember that) but, I can see why New Kids would bring up plenty of anal too.
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Submitted by poconose on Fri, 06/01/2012 - 2:20pm.
john travolta is dancing to this tune right now, as you read this.
Revolta is mainlining a peen to his rectum as we type! Strawberry lube foreverrrrrrr.
john travolta is dancing to this tune right now, as you read this.
When does his ballad to felching come out?
Submitted by EastEndGirl on Fri, 06/01/2012 - 2:02pm.
Same time you would last if you got some anal Whamo. ;)
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LMFAO...yeeeeeeeouch!
That sounds really appealing! Where do I sign up?
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this song was almost as awesome as anal itself. i feel inspired to write a folk tune about cream pies and threesomes.
Whenever I see that, I think of New Kids on the Block for some reason. No not "anal" but "Brian McKnight". I suppose that was one of their names.
Submitted by Datura on Fri, 06/01/2012 - 2:07pm.
"You wanna see some fucking anal, I can get you close enough to smell."
Is that supposed to be sexy? I'm not even 100% sure I know what it means.
Honestly. Has this guy ever smelled a bucket of diapers?
When the new cologne called "STANK ASS" comes out and sells like gangbusters, I'll retract my snark.
"You wanna see some fucking anal, I can get you close enough to smell."
Is that supposed to be sexy? I'm not even 100% sure I know what it means.
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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
top contenders to be in the music video:
jessica simpson
jennifer lopez
kim kardashian
john travolta
tom cruise
Same time you would last if you got some anal Whamo. ;)
I fucking hate that whole sound and his kind of singing so I lasted all of 8 sec.
Submitted by mefunigirl on Fri, 06/01/2012 - 1:50pm.
Good God between this and all the people eatin' I don't know what to think anymore!
Soylent fat Americans. We taste like bacon and cheese (so I've heard). Honestly, just gross on the people eatin'. There are like THREE stories up on drudge report about people going Hannibal Lecter. WTF is wrong with people?
Remember Jeffrey Dahmer? All he had was fucking condiments in his refrigerator. How much heinz 51 sauce does it take to make a human taste good? Sweet holy fuckety WHY?
Anal lovin' is definitely low on my scale of gross-factor right now.
Donner Party of one! Bite your own damned flesh, you crazy fuckers.
*clenches butt cheeks*
No fanks Brian.
Brian McKnight has a great voice and was actually a pretty big star, back when talent mattered.
SO these desperate moves are just the nasty equivalent of "Hollywood Squares" for a musician past his prime.
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“A culture fixated on female thinness is not an obsession about female beauty, but an obsession about female obedience...a quietly mad population is a tractable one.”
Brian McKnight always had such a respectable r&b career, clean-cut. I guess he got tired of seeing people like Chris Brown and Usher get all the attention and todays r&b is a lot more explicit than it used to be; Probably figured he'd take it a bit farther.