Here I was thinking that Marky Mark got his golden glow from working himself up into a heated sweat while drop kicking rubber terrorist dummies in his garage to prove that if he, a one-man al-Qaeda killing machine, was on those planes headed for the WTC, 9/11 would’ve just been another day. I was wrong! Marky gets his tan in a can. Marky Mark is still in Miami and he’s still shooting that non-porn gay porn movie with The Rock.
I’ve never had a spray tan and I hate to tell a professional skin browner how to do her job, but shouldn’t she be spending more time on Marky’s chichis zone? Homegirl should spray a little tromp l’oeil cleavage onto Marky’s chest to really make his titties pop. That way the rubber terrorist dummies in his garage will be so blinded by his bountiful breasteses that they won’t see it coming when he karate chops them in their rubber necks, sending them to their rubber god.