The Schwankes of Fremont, Nebraska who say that one of the secrets to their marriage lasting 64 long ass years is in their closet. No, their closet isn’t filled with sex slave boys, vibrating massage tables, a lube bar, anal speculums and fisting mittens (you’re thinking of the secret to John Travolta’s marriage lasting so long). Joey and Mel’s closet is stuffed with over 100 custom-made matching outfits. Not a day goes by when Joey and Mel aren’t giving FLORAL EXTRAVAGANZA realness by wearing a matching outfit. The floral fabric section at JoAnn’s is always cleared out and for that you can thank the Schwankes who are always looking like the host and hostess of an Easter-themed brunch only restaurant. Or like a husband and wife musical duo who only covers the greatest hits of Pat Boone.
This is the future of that couple in your 8th grade class who always showed up on Friday wearing matching polo shirts and the same color jeans. You know what always bothered me about that couple? They never matched their shoes. She’d wear black Converse and he’d wear Timbs or something. It’s all in the details. The Schwankes would never ever make that mistake.
via The Daily What