Some of us are just coming off of a long weekend where we shoveled piles of cake pieces and charbroiled meat patties marinated in beer into the eating holes on our faces until we bloated up like vaporizer bags full of lukewarm farts (special thanks to face eater expert J. Harvey for making it possible for me to do so), so what better way is there to start this Monday (camouflaged as Tuesday) than by looking at pictures of Craig David flexing the six pack on his nipples in Miami over the weekend.
If you feel bad about only picking up 2-liter beer jugs this weekend instead of picking up a barbell like Craig David here, don’t! It’s true that the Gods above allow humanity to have only a certain number of muscles total, so we’re doing Craig David a favor by giving him our shares. I don’t have muscles so that Craig David can have more than enough. You’re welcome, Craig David!
If you’re still trying to figure out who the hell Craig David is, I should tell your ass that he used to be known for singing, but now he’s known for being a muscle hoarder. Craig David is also what your last name would be if you had a three way marriage with Daniel Craig and Larry David. Good to know.
And if torsos like greased up sticks of delicious beef jerky don’t do it for you, I also threw in pictures of Gabrielle Union warming her nalgas in Miami yesterday.