Why Are People Eating Each Other?

May 28, 2012 / Posted by:

I’m still trying to get over that story about the Japanese guy serving his guests WAY TOO FUCKING ORGANIC sausage, and now Clarice Starling better get her good handbag and cheap rube shoes to Miami! A police officer shot and killed a naked man who had eaten another man’s face off. I don’t recall Dorothy and Rose including that bit in their “write a jingle about Miami” contest entry for the tourist board.

The grotesque nightmare began around 2 PM on Saturday when a Miami police officer spotted a nudie cutie dining on another guy’s face on a bike path off the MacArthur Causeway. When the officer (who I fucking hope gets next week off) asked Leatherface to stop chowing on the other guy’s mug, Leatherface declined and kept right on munching. Well, he got shot and killed.

The victim is said to be alive and in critical condition at Ryder Trauma Center at Jackson Memorial Hospital. Cops are saying that he appears to have been a homeless man, and that “cocaine psychosis” might have been the cause of the perpetrator’s nudity and cannibalism.

What are they cutting the cocaine with down in Miami? The goo from Prince of Darkness? He couldn’t have been that psycho if he disrobed so he wouldn’t get any face bits on his clothing.

And why am I the guy who has to post about people eating each other?!? Oh, who cares. DListed is the balls. Thanks for reading, guys. If you’re into naked dudes and…well, mostly naked dudes – come see me over at my day job at Manhunt Daily.

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