Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

May 27, 2012 / Posted by:

This very clean-cut, and religious television actress might be highly opinionated about morality, but we shouldn’t judge her too harshly. She has a terrible pain-killer addiction she is struggling with. (BuzzFoto)

Patricia Heaton? But in Patricia Heaton’s defense, she’s the absolute WORST and so if I was Patricia Heaton, I too would shovel pills into my mouth hole until the back alley-iest of back alley pharmacists refused to serve me. Then I’d put on a truck costume, park myself at Abbott Labratories’ loading dock and open my mouth as employees threw boxes of Vicodin into it. So yeah, Patricia Heaton totally has a valid excuse for being a pill gobbler.

This A-list star was having a boys-only gay bash in the late ’90s at his Hollywood Hills home when his then-wife (she’s now his ex) unexpectedly showed up at the front door. The actor’s bodyguard turned the Oscar-winning actress away because her hubby was busy hosting a slew of sexy young men! (National Enquirer via Blind Gossip)

Tommy Girl and Nicole Kidman? Ah, the old days when Tommy wouldn’t want his contract beard around while he ate the Thetans off of a boy butt. Nowadays, not only does Tommy want his beard wife at his man sex orgies, but he programs her to serve barley lube and butt beads shaped like L. Ron Hubbard’s head to his guests. That truly is the secret to a long-lasting fake marriage. 

So, this actress was A list. She was on top of the world and then got sucked into the lies of an A list movie actor and lost it all. Why? Because he was bored and placed a bet with crew members that he could get her to have sex with him. The bet was that he could get her to have sex in 10 different locations before the end of the movie. He won easily. She was always a bed and lights off person, but she did everything for him and anything he wanted.

She was married at the time and had some on set flirtations but nothing beyond that even though her husband cheated on her frequently. She was going to be the good one in the relationship. She liked her martyr role. She liked being able to throw it into her husband’s face whenever they argued which was often. There was no joy, but she was faithful at least until she met the A list actor that would change her life forever. He was bored. He was in the middle of nowhere and the drinking options were limited. He did like the crew though. He always got on with the crew. he also like getting it on with local women and extras and any other woman who was willing. The problem was there just weren’t that many. So, one night when he was drinking he made a bet with the crew that he could get his co-star to have sex with him. The crew didn’t think it was much of a challenge so the ten locations was added.

The actor started the next day and it took entire days of talking to her and wearing her down. He gave up drinking for three days just so he could talk to her into the night. He turned on that A list actor charm and finally wore her down. They hooked up. All the time and everywhere. She was not just in this for the sex though, she had fallen in love with the actor. When she told him she was going to leave her husband, he was not even paying attention or it didn’t register, but she did that and when she did, that was the end. Her A listness was over permanently. His A listness took a huge hit and took years and years to even come close to coming back. When he told her that he just was not interested in her that way and didn’t want to be with her forever, it crushed her. It took her a few years to just get over that. She had given up everything and all he wanted was sex. (CDAN)

Russell Crowe and Meg Ryan? But Meg Ryan didn’t fall backwards off of the top of A in A-list, because Russell Crowe’s peen left her tragically dickmatized. Meg screwed her career when she injected her mug with half of the Pepboys lube aisle, because there aren’t a lot of roles out there that call for actors with faces like an inside/out Howard the Duck mask.

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