Lindsay Lohan’s crazy hammerhead of a father says that the absolute embodiment of Liz Taylor (if Liz Taylor had looked anything like a cokey scarecrow disguised as a sheepdog) was beaned out on pills during her SNL appearance in March. Join me now in a boisterous “and?”. In an “exclusive” interview with Celebrity VIP Lounge, the tree-jumpin’ and pussy-kickin’ Michael Lohan says that Lindsay was on prescription drugs that she “doesn’t need” while playing a Disney princess and….I stopped watching after that. Sometimes Kristen Wiig can’t even keep me watching that mess. And now she’s gone. They’re fucked.
The reason why we have Father’s Day says:
“I have to say this…on SNL, Lindsay was not using any illicit drugs or drinking but she still is on prescription drugs that they gave her. And the meds that they give her are meds that they say she needs, but she doesn’t need them. But they kind of make her flat. She’s not acting at a full potential. It’s like the screen is down over her.”
I didn’t know if you knew this or not, but the Lohan family has more talent in it than just Lindsay (*chortle*) and Nana Lohan’s frosted bundt cake with sprinkles recipe. Dina Lohan was a Rockette, Ali Lohan turned her progeria into a “modeling career”, and Lee Strasberg is teaching the remedial acting class for extras in a car dealership commercial compared to Michael Lohan.
“And now when she did Glee I said, ‘Linds, get off the damn medication and let people see who you really are.’ And for a couple days before Glee, she went off this stuff. And there were tears in my eyes when I watched Glee. THAT was Lindsay. Yeah that was her acting. That is Lindsay Lohan at The Parent Trap, Freaky Friday and Mean Girls potential. That is what she was.”
The tears were from the possibility that she might have made a couple chickens that he can siphon off her high ass. Look, if Lindsay Lohan had detoxed before filming Glee, TMZ would have bloody footage of her Trainspotting ass trying to eat Lea Michele’s nose. Michael Lohan needs a job. And creating a website called “VIP Celebrity Lounge” isn’t it! Can that bus make a return trip?