Programming Note: J. Harvey's Back!
Since J. Harvey is a certified drunk mess, I felt it was only fitting to announce his triumphant return with these pictures of Our Patron Saint of Patron, Kate Moss, trying to figure out how "this walking thing" works while leaving a Mexican restaurant in London with her husband Count Von Count last night. But before I get into Drunk Ass Kate being Drunk Ass Kate....
One of the more reliable voices in my head tells me that the sanctity of marriage will receive a flaming breath of life this weekend when the most gorgeous ginger lesbian on every planet Rojo Caliente marries Cynthia Nixon. So because of this, I'm going to spend my entire Memorial Day Weekend throwing confetti made of double pleated Dockers in the streets to celebrate the greatest ROYAL GINGER LESBIAN WEDDING OF OUR TIME! No, I won't be doing that, but I did hear that a Rojo Caliente wedding might be upon us soon, so gird your souls! My mom is in town, so my sister and I will be spending our Memorial Day Weekend fighting with each other in various restaurants around the city. While I do that, J. Harvey will be spreading the foolery on Dlisted starting today through Monday. I'll still be posting sporadically (file that under: smart words I learned while watching Clueless) throughout the weekend, so you haven't completely gotten rid of me. I'll be back full-time on Tuesday where we'll continue to investigate the mysteries of dick cheese, etc...
And now, here's Kate Moss threatening all of us with a good time by leaving her fly open while leaving that Mexican restaurant. I don't know if that peep show sign is just a decoration to make that place look edgy or if there's a porn store next door, but I sort of like the idea of a Mexican restaurant/sex store. Yes, it would smell like a donkey show star's fart, but I've smelled worse in the subway during August. I mean, when you're jacking off in a sex store, don't you really wish that you had a bowl of refried beans in your other hand? Hold the queso blanco.
• 
Although, I can't decide the basketball shoes future of you, I also believe that the world no one can decide the future of the others, but, for new basketball shoes several times discount cumulative basketball shoes sale together, will make you 2011 basketball shoes want to perfect life frequent flaw http://www.newnbabasketballshoesss.com/
A student organization of the so-called red sole shoes work, in fact, accurate to say not work, is in the drill. You are cheap christian louboutin in your own experience for build. In other words, I like steadfastly work young christian louboutin pumps man. Your future boss, also must be like red bottom shoes steadfastly work young man. http://www.redbottomshoesforsalesss.com/
Life is like playing CARDS-lousy jordan retro 13 card also to hit good results oh, hope either 70 or 80 or 90 after, we all air jordans want to force, no jordan 23 matter what brand jordan retro 5 to hit all get jordan retro 4 good results. http://www.airjordansshoeshops.com
Is that an incognito Courtney Cox in a kimono in the first pic?? Tha hale that gurl doin?
"We need a table for eight..."
She literally must not eat. First impression, now I'll read the post.
EDITED: ok, good for Rojo and Cindy!
And Moss is the epitome of a professional addict/lush.
"Given how shitfaced she clearly is, I think she looks pretty damn good. Most chicks that are that wasted look like total shit (even though they think they look hot - Exhibit A - me"
That was YOU in the bathroom at Paolo's?!?! Hee. Seriously, picture it 2004. I'm at Paolo's with a girlfriend, commiserating about fucking men. I hit the loo and I run into a hot, drunken mess. She has an elbow planted against the rim of sink so she can steady her drunk-ass hand to apply lip liner (seriously, lip liner). I must have thrown some 'Gurl, call it a night' shade in her direction because she slurred "Yeah, I'm fucked up, but I still look better than you." I just laughed and went back to the bar. I'm sure her hangover was crippling.
***************
It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.
God, I love her.
Like Kate but poor Jamie Hince. Amazing band (The Kills) completely overshadowed by his fame loving wife. Now he's only known for being the guy that holds her up while they leave various clubs and restaurants.
Someone could have told her to close her fly.
Does this mean you get to use the guest towels J.Harvey?
Kate's such a great mom.
Welcome back J. Harvey! I hate when Michael K. leaves, but I love J. Harvey posts.... I'm so conflicted!
I used to start my nights out with a shot of tequila followed by a beer; that was ritual.. Now, I haven't had a drink since January.. I'm not AA, I just never drink; married now with 2 kids.. Honestly I prefer waking up ay 7am to watch toons than to go to bed at 5am dreading the hangover the next day.
And IrishFury I agree on your thoughts on this old hot ugly mess.. Her daughter's gonna end up like Peaches or on a pole somewhere.
I don't drink.
On another note, NO WORK TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have fun MK, with the fam.
Enjoy your weekend regardless, MK!!!
HI, PJ....
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Fuckery is what fuckery does.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:03pm.
Submitted by Britneys cheap ... on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 11:08am.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 11:10am.
Third. And if i'm going to act like a god damn fool there are much cheaper ways to get there.
------------------
hahahahahaa! WERD
_____________________________________________
"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 10:48am.
OH YEAH BIG TEASE J IS BACK JUST SHOW US YOUR BUTT ALREADY I WANT TO TAKE A PIC OF ME CUMMING ON A PICTURE OF YOUR BUTT AND POST IT HERE SO YOU CAN JERK OFF TO IT TOO THEN YOU CAN PUT YOUR HAND ON THE MONITOR AND I'LL PUT MY HAND ON THE MONITOR AND WE CAN ALSO STRENGTHEN THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Aw sucky, I never realized that you were such a romantic about marriage. You are such a softy.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:06pm.
Anytime!
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 11:48am.
Woo hoo! My team is on that list :) I *heart* college football!!
I want to party with JTROS and Islandgirl!
Submitted by Britneys cheap ... on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 11:08am.
______________
I love margaritas, but CANNOT do shots of Patron. The last time I did, I ended up playing a full contact game of Trivial Pursuit where I was tackled and shoved into a moving box and poked with sticks. I woke up the next morning with bite marks on my shoulders and rug burns on my knees, my roommate passed out in the doorway of his room, all the lights on in the house, and my boyfriend passed out in the bathroom (which, BTW looked like a murder scene because of the strawberry margaritas & shots of tequila).
Don't even get me started on the time I did shots of Patron and shots of absinthe in the same night....vom.
Submitted by Britneys cheap ... on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 11:08am.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 11:10am.
Third. And if i'm going to act like a god damn fool there are much cheaper ways to get there.
_____________________________________________
"throwing confetti made of double pleated Dockers"
/dying -- have a great vacation!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
GG, apparently I was lucky I wasn't thrown in the clink!
More like STICKY.
*Bows before Islandgirl*
Submitted by islandgirl on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 11:57am.
HOT
_____________________________________________
"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 11:38am.
The last time I drank it my friends found me wandering around the downtown Marriot's lobby in my underwear. No bueno.
------------------------
Hahaha, UNDEROOS!!! My one and only time, according to the friends I was with, I kissed the face off a popo and left the bar with a full jug of beer in mah cleavage.
beer or champagne for me & that's it. *does not like to puke*
Submitted by EastEndGirl on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 11:45am.
The last time I drank it I took home a pretty little chinese girl. Young as my daughter. Ick.
=============================================
Yeeoowza!!! :P
Jesus, Kate, falling out of nightclubs drunk when you're pushing 40 is not the look.
And you are fug in real life without your photoshopping, posed pics. Oh and fix your teeth.
And visit your daughter once a month or so.
Never got the hype with this gross whore with a completely untoned body. Give me the glamazon supermodels of the late 80s/90s anyday.
________________________________
Dark-sided!
If they are coming out of a "Mexican Restaurant" why are they standing in front of a Peep Show? Hmmmm
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 11:48am.
I AM SOFA-KING PUMPED ABOUT THE UPCOMING SEASON!!!
_____________________________________________
"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
*hands ME tequila shot and pushes her at Lohan*
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 11:45am.
But I LOVE WILD TURKEY!!!!!!!!!! That is my problem.
Offtopic: We are both on this list! WOOT!
http://espn.go.com/college-football/story/_/id/7949146/previewing-20-tea...
**************************************************************
I'm jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo - Blanche Devereaux
Submitted by EastEndGirl on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 11:45am.
The last time I drank it I took home a pretty little chinese girl. Young as my daughter. Ick.
----------------
It appears as though I just had an accident.
_____________________________________________
"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 11:42am.
THAT WILD TURKEY WILL GIT YOU!!
_____________________________________________
"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
I'm glad you're getting some time off, MK. Have a great weekend! Welcome back, J Harvey. I missed youuuuu. No, really, I did.
The last time I drank it I took home a pretty little chinese girl. Young as my daughter. Ick.
GG, Jacko - tequilla makes me violent.
I steer WAY clear of that shit.
NO TEQUILA, EVER!!!!!!!
***********************************************
Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 11:38am.
LMAO! That's some funny shit.
I actually do okay with Patron. It's the whiskey/bourbon that gets me. Eek.
**************************************************************
I'm jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo - Blanche Devereaux
Tequila had me face plant onto the cement flooring of a fancy boutique hotel...husband DRAGGED me off. Sister took pics with her cell.
Kate looks about as fresh and healthy as Whitney did in her last set of photos.
*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*
"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" -
Ronnie (Z-Man) Barzell
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 11:35am.
The last time I drank it my friends found me wandering around the downtown Marriot's lobby in my underwear. No bueno.
_____________________________________________
"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
What is it about tequila that make you do CRAZY AND OR DANGEROUS shit? It's almost like pcp!
TEAM TEKILLYA IS THE DEBIL!
I am guilty of leaving the fly open...while SOBER......this is why I drink at home, in sweats.
lol ESE♥
I love Patron Silver, but yeah more than 2 shots and it's sidewalk licking times.
I have no idea what a J. Harvey is, so I didn't bother reading any of this.
But long live my Queen, and may she live long and be a drunken mess forever - Amen!
Given how shitfaced she clearly is, I think she looks pretty damn good. Most chicks that are that wasted look like total shit (even though they think they look hot - Exhibit A - me).
Lol at the zipper! Looks like something stupid I would do.
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
Yay MK on getting some fam time!! I think Kate is soooo pretty, even tore the hell down drunk.