Friday, May 25th 2012

Jenna Jameson Arrested For Riding A Pole

It wouldn't be Memorial Day weekend without dumb bitches getting into their stars n' stripes drankin' thongs, guzzling down a 12-pack of Natty Light, and driving their slutmobiles into telephones poles. God bless America, hunty.

Porn czarina Jenna Jameson got pinched for DUI last night. TMZ sez her drunk and whorey car made out with a cold and withholding telephone pole around 1:30 AM. Jenna must have failed to say her ABCs backwards so she was handcuffed on suspicion of DUI. Much like Jenna's, her car's vagine is always hungry for something long, tall and stiff.

It's a "misdemeanor suspicion of DUI" so she's probably already been released into the wild.

In her defense, I'm guessing the ABCs aren't in her repertoire anyways. She probably wasn't even drunk! Her eyes are sinking into the middle of her face so it's not like she can see the road at night times! Do we really think Jenna can't handle her hooch?

Seriously, though, call a fucking cab. Or get on the bus. We've all experienced the joys of public transportation whilst inebriated. You make so many new friends. They're fine with you making a vom puddle. They can just step over it and wish you well.

It's awesome times to be back with you sexy fucks. Whenever Michael K.'s slut ass asks me, I feel a burst in my heart. It's probably the deep-fried Yodels.

Posted by: J. Harvey


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MizRo's picture

She's been M.I.A. for awhile; is she still with that Ortiz-man? She has a child, no?

Aww but I like J Harvey

☿☿☿ ☻☺☻☺☻☺ ========|D ~o ~o (_(_) ☻☺☻☺☻☺ ☿☿☿
So, my advice is you can’t make a ho a housewife. Don’t try to reinvent the wheel. Let her do what she born to do: ho. Yeah. HO. Punk bitch.

Saphris's picture

mmm, natty lite. got me remembering my broke college days.
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"I felt very still & very empty, the way the eye of a tornado must feel, moving dully along in the middle of the surrounding hullabaloo."

BlueOrchid's picture

Submitted by ouchrussell on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 11:50am.

You're a fucking dick bag. This is the first time EVER that I felt gross after reading a post. When is MK coming back?
__________________

Oh yeah? Well, YOU'RE a fucking bitch bag! This is the first time EVER that I felt my IQ drop after reading a comment. Don't come back.

With all the silicone in her, did the car need air bags?

movedtocomment's picture

She was the greatest proponent for the porn industry. Now she is the greatest proponent to show, despite all the success, women in the sex industry do not face a happy retirement. Young girls should learn from this example.

Scott in NYC's picture

I used to think Jenna was cool and beautiful....but she's neither anymore. Fucking up her face is her business but driving drunk makes her a total fucking loser.

Here is a pic of her before she had one iota of surgery, back when she was just starting out:

lift.http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/view;_ylt=A2KJkPl97L9PTHwAOJmJzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTBlMTQ4cGxyBHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDaW1n?back=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%2Fimages%3F_adv_prop%3Dimage%26va%3Djenna%2Bjameson%2Byoung%26fr%3Dyfp-t-701%26tab%3Dorganic%26ri%3D6&w=180&h=270&imgurl=nudebunnys.com%2Fthumbnails%2Fjenna-jameson-small.jpg&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fnudebunnys.com%2Fthe-young-jenna-jameson-is-a-sexy-nude-girl-from-suze%2F&size=23+KB&name=The+young+Jenna+Jameson+is+a+sexy+nude+girl+%7C+Sexy+Nude+Girls+...&p=jenna+jameson+young&oid=a92d667b974bd8eb3b74f43c7abb8e7e&fr2=&fr=yfp-t-701&tt=The%2Byoung%2BJenna%2BJameson%2Bis%2Ba%2Bsexy%2Bnude%2Bgirl%2B%257C%2BSexy%2BNude%2BGirls%2B...&b=0&ni=72&no=6&ts=&tab=organic&sigr=12c50d0d0&sigb=13h59airt&sigi=11h18t8s7&.crumb=KxLPlRsFTjT

JewelofDenial

Nicole's picture

Holy shit. THAT'S Jenna Jameson?! Dafuq did she do to her face?!? She used to be so pretty, now she looks like Jocelyn Wildenstein!!! No wonder she was hitting the bottle so hard. Damn, girl.

agirl's picture

Welcome Back J. Harvey - you are always welcome here!

RandéSleepover's picture

Oh, she's taken plenty of blows to the face before--she'll be fine.

* * * * * * * * * * *
Please: It's "rahnday."

Dirk Diggler's picture

It's fascinating to compare old and recent pictures of Jenna's: they bear NO RESEMBLANCE WHATSOEVER.

Dirk Diggler's picture

That scary plastic face is probably shock- and fire-proof, so no worries.

She looks like a gelfling from 'the dark crystal'. No offence to actual gelflings.

jack-n-the-hat's picture

Submitted by jackie on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:58pm.

She probably opened her legs a little too much while driving and her loose pussy lips started flapping and got in the way of her face.
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ahahahahahahaa!! THE VISUAL!!
_____________________________________________
"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers

She probably opened her legs a little too much while driving and her loose pussy lips started flapping and got in the way of her face.

SANS FARDS's picture

There is no excuse for this. I mean, there's no excuse for anyone getting a DUI, but especially not a gajillionaire celebrity. Call a CAB, fer chrissakes.

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JTROS's picture

Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:50pm.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:36pm.
Gotta love dp'ing!
====================

I have a copy of Jenna's book. Your version of DP and her version are not the same thing.

I'll also never look at the words "air tight" the same way again.

______________________________

I'm pretty sure JJ is a pro at TP'ing.

Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:50pm.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:36pm.
Gotta love dp'ing!
====================

I have a copy of Jenna's book. Your version of DP and her version are not the same thing.

**********************************

Oh...........aren't they??!!

SpottedDogRanch's picture

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:36pm.
Gotta love dp'ing!
====================

I have a copy of Jenna's book. Your version of DP and her version are not the same thing.

I'll also never look at the words "air tight" the same way again.

Foxxy Brown's picture

is this the same blonde porn icon that in a post from within the past week or so [sorry - "working" so not taking time to go back thru archives]? everybody was saying how naturally beautiful she was and how bad she looked now? or was that someone else? so many of those ho's . . .

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

jack-n-the-hat's picture

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:36pm.

Gotta love dp'ing!
----------------

naughty girl
_____________________________________________
"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers

Gardening Girl's picture

What's going on here?

JTROS's picture

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:36pm.
Gotta love dp'ing!

________________

DP'ing...my first thought when I see those letters is NOT "double post".

DICK CHEESE. CUNTPLUG. PUSSY DRIPS.

How's that, ouchrussell?

***********************************************
Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac

Gotta love dp'ing!

Submitted by Few Words on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:34pm.
Submitted by ouchrussell on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 11:50am.

You're a fucking dick bag. This is the first time EVER that I felt gross after reading a post.

THIS AINT THE CHRISTIAN SCIENCE READING ROOM DUMBASS.

☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺

WHA??????

*slowly places Bible in knapsack, backs out of room*

Few Words's picture

Submitted by ouchrussell on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 11:50am.

You're a fucking dick bag. This is the first time EVER that I felt gross after reading a post.

THIS AINT THE CHRISTIAN SCIENCE READING ROOM DUMBASS.

☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.

Zappy's picture

She used to be such a pretty little skanky WHORE.. now shes all dried up like leather.. yuck..

You're doing a good job guest blogger!

Submitted by ouchrussell on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 11:50am.
You're a fucking dick bag. This is the first time EVER that I felt gross after reading a post

**********************

Same reaction I had while reading your post!

*eye roll*

Oh and big shocker that she was driving drunk.

SpottedDogRanch's picture

Submitted by ouchrussell on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 11:50am.
You're a fucking dick bag. This is the first time EVER that I felt gross after reading a post. When is MK coming back?
==================
Ahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

You've posted twice. ^^^ this one and one 3 years and 45 days ago.

christine the hoff's picture

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:04pm.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:03pm.

We both know it doesn't take much... :P

ARE YOU CALLING ME A WHORE???

"Adjusts pushup bra, lits cigg, checks condom supply":

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Sir, you killed your date? What in the name of Phil Spector happened?

MissJaneTexas's picture

Submitted by beakers bitch on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:07pm.

Who knows? It's especially puzzling when the comments make no sense. This post was the grossest in the history of dlisted posts? Butterfly please.

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I'm jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo - Blanche Devereaux

beakers bitch's picture

How come whenever there's guest bloggers these user names that have been registered forever, but never talk all of a sudden come out of the woodwork to become blog critics?

parissucksliterally's picture

Is this ouchrussel's first month on Dlisted?

**********************************************
I thought you were singing your heart out to me
Your lips were syncing and now I see
A change would do you good
A change would do you good

jack-n-the-hat's picture

Submitted by christine the hoff on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:03pm.

We both know it doesn't take much... :P
_____________________________________________
"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers

islandgirl's picture

ouchrussell, if that's the first time you ever felt gross after reading a post on here, you haven't been paying attention!

christine the hoff's picture

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 12:01pm.
Please pray for the softening of ouchrussell's heart. I hope you all have a beautiful day.

anything to get me on my knees, huh?

------------------------------------------------

Sir, you killed your date? What in the name of Phil Spector happened?

christine the hoff's picture

Submitted by TexnDoc on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 11:34am.
Who's that Tweener star who specializes in side swiping cars

jack's right, Amanda Bynes. speaking of car wrecks, I was walking up to the store for a diet coke and this fuckhole PLOWED into another car, RIGHT THE FUCK IN FRONT OF ME.

I lost ten years off my life...... "still shaking'

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Sir, you killed your date? What in the name of Phil Spector happened?

jack-n-the-hat's picture

Please pray for the softening of ouchrussell's heart. I hope you all have a beautiful day.
_____________________________________________
"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers

snowpiece's picture

ouchrussell damn, calm the hell down

***************************
"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky

beakers bitch's picture

Why the fuck are you smiling? YOU JUST GOT A DUI! Stupid Hollyweird bitches trying to look good in their mug shots. "Woo hoo! Jail time. No, not really, because I'm not a plebe. But, I'll be on TMZ!" Welcome back, J Harvey, you big ho.

Janice Second's picture

Submitted by ouchrussell on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 11:50am.
You're a fucking dick bag. This is the first time EVER that I felt gross after reading a post. When is MK coming back?

Uh... I find this post no more hilariously filthy than any of MK's posts... I actually think it's more tame hahaha.

parissucksliterally's picture

Queenie, i know! she was beautiful.

**********************************************
I thought you were singing your heart out to me
Your lips were syncing and now I see
A change would do you good
A change would do you good

QueenieBK's picture

Jenna, Jenna, Jenna. Why did you fuck up your face? You used to be really pretty.

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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley