The Japanese Are Taking "Eat A Dick, Bitch" Way Too Seriously
You might want to hit pause on that Memorial Day Weekend hot dog before reading this. You've been warned.
France 24 posted this story about a Japanese artist who....brace yourself, Bridget...removed, cooked, and served his genitals to five people in Tokyo. Lest you think this was some sort of super-freaky serial killer incident, think again. These people were willingly dining on his hog. This brings every eating dick-related insult to the forefront and makes them flee in terror. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?
Mao Sugiyama had his junk redacted by surgeons and kept everything on ice for two months. He then organized a May 13th dinner at an events hall. The five extreme foodies, who paid the equivalent of $250 American dollars to feast on a portion of Sugiyama's set, were served a "seasoned and braised" dick entree garnished with potatoes and vegetables. I'm alternately cradling my package protectively and looking for something wholesome to watch on YouTube after finishing this shit.
I know the main ghastly here is the fact that a guy removed his dick and let five people eat it. But I'm a little shocked at how cheap that was. If you are looking to eat a dick, you are probably really looking to do it. That isn't just a whim you have one day. He probably could have charged those cannibal freaks $500 a bitch for the privilege of his tubesteak.
Sugiyama considers himself asexual (sure is now), and says that he did this to raise the public awareness of "sexual minorities, x-gender, asexual people." He's gonna write a book. The police say that Sugiyama didn't break any laws and no charges will be filed.
Some dumb motherfucker asked Sugiyama if he would be holding any more cock-eating events (sit down, John Travolta, they were being literal). Crazy Mao declined. Oh good, I don't have to fly to Japan to taser his insane ass now.
"I receive questions from some women and men... asking 'Will there be a next time? Please host it again.' But there is only one set of male organ," he tweeted on May 16.
"Unfortunately, I have no plan for the next time."
I'm never eating hot dogs, knockworst, bratwurst, or fingerling potatoes ever again.
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You forgot to mention the 'artist' is really a 'patient' in a mental hospital, and the 'event hall' was their cafeteria.
Bite me.
Ok, now I need to know what KIND of potatoes and vegetables where served with La Dick and Balls. What was desert? What kind of tablescape was there?
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Give me a clothesline or give me death. And not the She by Sheree kind.
Ramona has her own line of PG for sale! I've never seen it anywhere though. Looks like this new season of RHONY is going to be full of newbie bitches and stupidity.
Hopefully Romona will take her crazy eyes down a catwalk or something.
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Dark-sided!
@ ME
Sixteen Candles, Long Duck Dong!
No more yanky his wanky. The Donger make food.
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
I can't... what the... ?!
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"Two whores don't make a right"-- M.K.
"Any guy who values stick thin and young over smarts and personality isn't worth it and has NOTHING interesting to say anyway."-- Mrs. Kravitz
Submitted by IrishFury on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 7:01pm.
Pinot Greege is nice and cold and crisp,
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Ramona Singer, is that you?
Chianti and fava beans would seem to be good accompaniments.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 5:31pm.
I wonder what kinda wine you'd serve with that?
Just make it kosher, please.
Pinot Greege is nice and cold and crisp, a bit fruity, can be similar to some Chardy's except for Californian Chardonnay's that go from lightly oaked to heavily wooded.
Pinot Noir is a light bodied red....Merlot is a nice medium etc etc
There are tons of kinds of wines, I'm not an expert for any means but I like wines, except very meaty reds like Bordeaux or Cabernet. Oh and Rieslings or dessert wines, yuck.
Can someone get me a glass of wine? I'm still in bed with this damn flu.
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by mahaatma on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 6:49pm.
Submitted by BaconSlut on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 6:41pm.
@joe schmoe
May I suggest a nice penis grigio?
+++++++++
Aaaaahahahaha!!!!! Perfect!
I'd need a couple of shots of Everclear!
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*pulling up chair* You pour, mahaatma :D
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No morea yanky your wanky?
If he was going to have it removed anyway, does it count as "medical waste"? Surely there are laws against eating medical waste, let alone a body part of a fucking HUMAN BEING?!?!
@mahaatma
I was just yanking chains. I dunno dick about wine. ;)
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
The Japanese are different from us.
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
But how is he going to pee?
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Dark-sided!
Thats what I stayed curios about.. Especially since I just stayed in the hospital for a week having 2 surgeries trying to fix my kidney.. Why fuck shit up on purpose
Submitted by BaconSlut on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 6:41pm.
@joe schmoe
May I suggest a nice penis grigio?
+++++++++
Aaaaahahahaha!!!!! Perfect!
I'd need a couple of shots of Everclear!
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Give me a clothesline or give me death. And not the She by Sheree kind.
I am glad I don't eat hot dogs. I now will refuse sausages.
JMFC.
*hurls*
Submitted by Gigaboob on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 5:13pm.
I'm pretty sure you're already eating dicks and balls if you're eating hot dogs.
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You take that back! You take that back!
*gags*
*throws away package of Farmer John wieners but finishes just made hot dog anyway*
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The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Nightowl, is ready to PARTAY!
Submitted by mahaatma on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 6:33pm.
I bet Tommy Lee's junk could serve a crowd.
Maybe that's how Jesus really fed the five thousand.
@joe schmoe
May I suggest a nice penis grigio?
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
Mike
Yes, I love you, but you are still one sick fuck.
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Sir, you killed your date? What in the name of Phil Spector happened?
I bet Tommy Lee's junk could serve a crowd.
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Give me a clothesline or give me death. And not the She by Sheree kind.
Japanese and it served five? I guess Nouvelle cuisine never went out of fashion in Japan.
Sugiyama considers himself asexual (sure is now), and says that he did this to raise the public awareness of "sexual minorities, x-gender, asexual people."
What about public awareness of morons? Oh no wait, he's an artiste
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Dickless wonder. That's all I got.
This is why we have SECTIONING laws for the mentally ill.
I guess that makes them wad gobblers by proxy.
:O :O :O FUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKK! *gags*
I think he was going to have it removed anyway, he obviously didn't want to have a peen BUT serving and eating it!? FCKEN FREAKS!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Said one partaker: "The only complaints I have are that the portion size was very small and the garnish kept getting stuck in my teeth."
Submitted by EvilShoe on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 6:16pm.
Chinese folk that roasted human fetus', dried them and put them in capsules to ship to S. Korea as homemade viagra
OH COME ON
Someone go into Japan, grab Maru and run your ass back to safety!
So is he peeing through a catheter now? What the fuck?
Oh wait, Mike just posted a link to it. *high five for Fire Signs*
You know, I thought the Chinese folk that roasted human fetus', dried them and put them in capsules to ship to S. Korea as homemade viagara was gag worthy and then this bitch comes along the next day making me doubly ill!
WTF! *grabs side of sink to keep from circling the drain we call life*
-gag-
Submitted by christine the hoff on Fri, 05/25/2012 - 5:55pm.
Mike
you are one sick fuck.
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I know you're saying that with love.
Mike
you are one sick fuck.
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Sir, you killed your date? What in the name of Phil Spector happened?
Perhaps those wanting a repeat can track down some of these:
http://m.gawker.com/5908189/17500-powdered-human-baby-pills-seized-by-so...
that is seriously so fucking gross.
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Sir, you killed your date? What in the name of Phil Spector happened?
Tastes like chicken?
I dunno, Gardening Girl...I think like may cultures, our own included, it might just be an infatuation with youth and "innocence".
Well, if I had to choose between eating a dick burger or a shit burger, I'd choose the dick.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2004791/Japanese-scientis...
"No matter how cynical you become, it's impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin
Waste of a dick if you ask me... even if it was one of those smallish Asian ones. Who would just throw away all of those potential orgasims?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"A lot of people like to fool you and say that you're not smart if you never went to college, but common sense rules over everything. That's what I learned from selling crack"
- Snoop
Daniee, then explain the proliferation of the Harajuku (spelling dont care) phenomenon? I heard mature women in their 30s running around clutching teddy bears in public.
This is BEYOND fucked. He seriously needs help!
I know we hear lots of queer things about behaviour in Japan, but trust...I am neighbours and close with many people from Japan and they're seriously not that strange. Usually neat, but not strange.
must've gotten the recipe from Giadas cookbook. heard dat bitch eats a whole lotta dick
Why are the Japanese so wierd! I thought we were pretty messed up but this?