How Dare Aishwarya Rai Go Out In Public Looking Gorgeous

Bollywood star Aishwarya Rai has been described as the most gorgeous woman in the world by people who obviously have never felt their retinas curl from the sheer shock of Shauna Sand’s natural beauty. But when a picture of a fuller Aishwarya Rai, taken six months after she gave birth, made the rounds, some dim-brained shit bags told her to get out of the kitchen and get back on the treadmill! According to them, it’s her job as a Bollywood star to be skinny at all times…like Posh! Yeah, those bitches completely lost me when they compared Aishwarya Rai, a human being, to Posh, an alien amphibian who loses her 4 pounds of baby weight by shedding her skin on the plastic surgeon’s table while nurses from NASA suck tiny particles of fat from her gills with Dyson wet vacs. That seems unfair, but that’s probably just me.

At AmfAR’s Cinema Against AIDS gala in Cannes last night, Aishwarya Rai made her first red carpet appearance since dumb fucks called her fat and ugly, and guess what? She still looked hot. To me, Aishwarya Rai would still be gorgeous even if she had 50 extra pounds on her body and those 50 extra pounds were from wearing a floor length coat made of hideous glove shoes, boots made from Kardashian taint hair, three extra chins covered with UGGs fur, a CROCs top hat and a beaver backpack with Chris Brown’s face on it. I know, I went too far with whole “Chris Brown backpack” thing.