Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 25, 2012 / Posted by:

When I was 5 or 6, my mom bought my sister and me these stupid blinking flashlights from the Ice Capades, and since it was the 80s we were mesmerized at how the lights blinked off and on by themselves. We played with those dumb things all night like a couple of ravers. We weren’t even rolling on ecstasy! Sad, I know. The annoying sounds of brats giggling like crackheads during the night quickly tugged at my mom’s nerves and so she confiscated those flashlights and put them at the top of this bookcase/desk unit thing in our bedroom. She didn’t realize then that most children are crazy, dumb as all hell and fuck deficient. The next day, my sister and I pulled the desk drawers open and started to climb up Mt. Bookcase. If Cliffhanger came out in the 80s, that’s the movie we would’ve played. (Remember when you “played” movies.) I would’ve been Janine Turner, of course, and she would’ve been that homely blond ho. About halfway up, the bookcase started to wobble forward and that’s when we guessed the only light show we’d see that day is the one that would lead us to the afterworld after we fell to our deaths. The bookcase fell on top of us and we both hit the floor. It actually wasn’t that much of a fall. It was maybe 4 feet, but we were kids. We were dramatic. The bookshelf trapped both of us, but I managed to squeeze out, grab my flashlight and go to my abuelita’s room to play with it. My sister was still trapped under the bookcase, but I’m assuming she eventually got out, because I just saw her last week.

What I’m getting at is that if we had a smart Klee Kai puppy like Caos, that shit would’ve never happened to us. Because Caos would’ve taught us how to properly climb drawers to get what you want.

via Tastefully Offensive

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