Thursday, May 24th 2012
Open Post: Hosted By Maru's 5th Birthday
Today, May 24th, is Asparagus Day, Hate Your Nostrils Day (see: Asparagus Day), Escargot Day, the day after Joan Collins' birthday, Tiara Day and most importantly it's the day a piece of the Internet's heart came out of his mom's box before charming all of us with his love of boxes. Let's all celebrate this day by stuffing ourselves in a box. Happy birthday, Maru!
• 
I really, really love animals, but horses for some reason don't interest me.
It could be because a pony bit me when I was very young, or because I had the misfortune of being around a lot of "horse people" in my prep school/college years. That said, few things are hotter than a girl in jodhpurs.
Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 5:29pm.
Jamaica, must you be so crude all the time?
I mean, really.
You're never going to find true love unless you open yourself up to caring, honesty and romance.
And some beautiful dancing.
With beb.
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Crude!? You're kidding right? I like to think I am an honest and open person but I don't want you to be rolling your eyes at me all the time:P There is a time and place for everything my dear:P.
Oh and thanks AGAIN smartass.
Dog - You haven't lived until you've been snotted on by a horse. Or whacked with a tail from a mare in heat. Or have fingernails caked with smegma from cleaning a gelding.
Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 5:48pm.
You guys took my sweet little horses and made them all perverted! Bunch of horny housewives...pffffttt.
Posting is good for the sex life though.
^^^^^^^^^^^
Only if you didn't get sneezed on first.
*growls*
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
You guys took my sweet little horses and made them all perverted! Bunch of horny housewives...pffffttt.
Posting is good for the sex life though.
Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 5:43pm.
I did too... the first person to talk to me was stoney. OK, now I'm really out!
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Dear QueenieBK,
You do not have to be a slave to your horse allergies. These horses can be crossed with other breeds and the resulting offspring are hypoallergenic. I know someone with a major horse allergy that has gotten worse with age and she crossed a Curly with an Arabian for an endurance horse.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curly_Horse
Get back in the saddle!!!
You know Queenie, you can do that on a dining room chair real well. *makes call*
Submitted by VitaminF on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 5:37pm.
Awwwww, my best friend and my cat "Miss Kitty" have a love hate relationship. He calls her Cat and she hisses at him. It's pretty sweet.
Sorry about my dramatic exit earlier guys - I just needed a moment. I'm back though. *curtsies*
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I'm jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo - Blanche Devereaux
Submitted by QueenieBK on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 5:42pm.
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 5:40pm.
Man, I saw a porn film once and there was one scene where the girl sat on the guy's lap, both of them facing the withers, and the horse started to trot. My God, I have to try that!!!!!!!!!!!
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This is how one does it: Guy sits on the edge of sofa/chair/bed, girl backs in, sits like she's on horseback, and posts like there's no tomorrow.
I've heard it's pretty fantastic, for both parties involved.
*walks away, whistling nonchalantly*
^^^^^^^^^^
BullSHITski. You probably invented it. ;-)
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
VitaminF, dont worry we have a tuxedo cat and we briliantly named him Felix.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 5:41pm.
Submitted by EvilShoe on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 5:41pm.
aawww I love when lurkers post! I wish they would more often. :)
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I agree.
=====================
I agree as well. I lurked for a looooonnnnngggg time. Y'all are scary at first (but nice).
I'm out for a bit... I suddenly have a craving for a bucket of chicken and Doritos.
_____________________________________________
"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 5:40pm.
Man, I saw a porn film once and there was one scene where the girl sat on the guy's lap, both of them facing the withers, and the horse started to trot. My God, I have to try that!!!!!!!!!!!
==========
This is how one does it: Guy sits on the edge of sofa/chair/bed, girl backs in, sits like she's on horseback, and posts like there's no tomorrow.
I've heard it's pretty fantastic, for both parties involved.
*walks away, whistling nonchalantly*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Submitted by EvilShoe on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 5:41pm.
aawww I love when lurkers post! I wish they would more often. :)
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I agree.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 5:38pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 5:32pm.
Anybody here that's kinda new to the D and feeling a little left out of the loop?
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Every time IF starts flapping her yapper and going on and on and on. Yup.
*****************************************
:(
________________________________
Dark-sided!
aawww I love when lurkers post! I wish they would more often. :)
Submitted by QueenieBK on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 5:37pm.
Man, I saw a porn film once and there was one scene where the girl sat on the guy's lap, both of them facing the withers, and the horse started to trot. My God, I have to try that!!!!!!!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 5:34pm.
I have no idea why I posted the information below.
?
=========================
You have a fever and are on the brink of death.
Call Whamo. He can give you mouth to mouth.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 5:32pm.
Anybody here that's kinda new to the D and feeling a little left out of the loop?
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Every time IF starts flapping her yapper and going on and on and on. Yup.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 5:32pm.
Anybody here that's kinda new to the D and feeling a little left out of the loop? I was thinking of that Phoebe girl that said nobody ever talked to her so I just thought I'd throw it out there. I know we can be a cliquey(?) group of bitches so feel free to stand up and so we know who you are.
Just be warned if you don't say something incredibly funny no one will EVER talk to you again....no pressure. Bwahaaaa! :P
===========================
Anybody here that's kinda new to the D and feeling a little left out of the loop? I just wanted to let all of you know that I love playing Frisbee and hacky sack (even though I have the olds) and I love sending love songs to other menz late at night. Please feel free to stand up and proposition me anytime because I am stuck in an internet love triangle and desperately need an escape. Just be warned if you don't have incredibly big boobs and a slamming body, no one will EVER talk to you again....no pressure. Bwahaaaa! :P
There...fixed that for ya!!!
♥ ♥ ♥
Maru is such a sweetheart. As I am watching this video, my 7 yr old tuxedo cat named 'Cat' is rolling all over my bed, deep in slumber. I love kittehs.
Now don't you guys give me hard time about his name, I love calling him that and he answers back when I do:-)
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 5:27pm.
Very. Had horsies all my life up until a few years ago. But I only ride English. None of those peen-looking pommels and gay fenders and stirrups for this canine. Posting rocks!
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I took both English and Western style lessons until my allergies decided to act up and make me quit that bitch. I sometimes think of dosing myself to the gills and trying to ride again. Learning to ride English is great for developing leg muscles, and using said leg muscles for (ahem) other forms of exercise. Even though I haven't ridden for years, I can still post (ahem again).
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
SDR, I did dressage for a few years but to tell the truth, I'd rather just ride foe the fun of it rather than show. I hated jumping even though I did pretty well. Once I was wearing the whitest shirt you ever saw. We were doing the vertical jumps that morning and RIGHT BEFORE I was supposed to mount, my horse sneezed on my shirt. You know what that looks like, right? I looked like a Jackson Pollack painting.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
I have no idea why I posted the information below.
?
________________________________
Dark-sided!
Queenie - I majored in Geography! I still get lost, I don't want to teach and I only did it to get out of maths classes with my inital Geology degree. At least you can write, sometimes I can't find my way out of a wet paper sack.
Anybody here that's kinda new to the D and feeling a little left out of the loop? I was thinking of that Phoebe girl that said nobody ever talked to her so I just thought I'd throw it out there. I know we can be a cliquey(?) group of bitches so feel free to stand up and so we know who you are.
Just be warned if you don't say something incredibly funny no one will EVER talk to you again....no pressure. Bwahaaaa! :P
I don't like rodents. I don't even think sqirrels are cute.
Anything rodent or sea-foodish (including cockroaches since they are a very distant cousin of the lobster) gross me out.
I not a fan of the snake either or any of it's cousins. And I don't like worms. They give me the major skeeves. And caterpillers, ugh! Or those fuzzy fuckers will all the legs. I can't with lots of legs.
I don't mind spiders so much.
________________________________
Dark-sided!
SpottedDogRanch LOL I thought that would be a bad idea for me. When I was little my mom thought my brother & I were too quiet, investigated and we had thrown a bunch of stuff in the toilet cause my mom had Cherrios in it for my brother so we "helped" her out with half the pantry in the toilet. I didn't want to give my son ideas haha!
Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 5:26pm.
====================================
You're a poet and I didn't know it!!!
Hopefully Evil_Cupcake will show back up and read this. I'm sure this will make her crappy week much better!
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I minored in creative writing in college. So far the only thing it's equipped me to do is to write song parodies, fare-thee-well poems, and smut. Oh, and work-related shit LOL
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Lollololololllol and hack playing Whammerkins and his 1 on 1 dancing with Beb.
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 5:27pm.
Very. Had horsies all my life up until a few years ago. But I only ride English. None of those peen-looking pommels and gay fenders and stirrups for this canine. Posting rocks!
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Woof???? OMG, me too! I can't ride for shit in a Western saddle. Break out the all-purpose or dressage saddle and I'm there!! I do get some funny looks here in TX though. We even have fox hunting (drag scent - wenevercatchanything) around here!!! Soooo much fun.
Submitted by EvilShoe on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 5:25pm.
(without mom boobs though)
----------------------
You know I will need visual confirmation.
_____________________________________________
"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Jamaica, must you be so crude all the time?
I mean, really.
You're never going to find true love unless you open yourself up to caring, honesty and romance.
And some beautiful dancing.
With beb.
________________________________
Dark-sided!
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 5:21pm.
HOSER!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
EvilShoe - Mr. Spot told me he had to sink Cheerios!
Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 5:18pm.
Dog - Well you're experienced also?!?!
I imagine you're sore but can you feel the muscles tightening? No built up anger also, right??
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Very. Had horsies all my life up until a few years ago. But I only ride English. None of those peen-looking pommels and gay fenders and stirrups for this canine. Posting rocks!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Yay for Maru!!!
Submitted by QueenieBK on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 5:20pm.
Thanks! Check this shit out:
Well, you should see Piddling Pam
She smells like urine ‘cos she misses the can
You can tell when she’s there
The scent of pee in the air
Oh, you should smell Piddling Pam
Yuck, yuck, yuck!
Get a good whiff as she enters the place
It’s killer-diller and it shows on your face
She’s the kind of a lass
that could stink like an ass
Yes, you could say that you would rather sniff mace
Yuck, yuck, yuck!
====================================
You're a poet and I didn't know it!!!
Hopefully Evil_Cupcake will show back up and read this. I'm sure this will make her crappy week much better!
lol it's the whole house like that with the sealer but yeah, the toilet is the WORST! I had to drain the toilet once, put a dab of red nail polish in a dot and let him aim for that. I thought food floating around would be a bad habit LOL Later I painted red #s so he could learn his #s as he aimed for them. Yeah, I'm that mom. :p (without mom boobs though)
Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 4:40pm.
Submitted by guest on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 4:37pm.
. I never said anything about abused kitties though!
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This one is just too easy:P
@EEG.....good for you...and your clit:P
Submitted by EvilShoe on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 5:19pm.
LOL, you should be okay. I'm guessing you are referring to your bathroom floor and having a young one in the house with poor aim. :P
_____________________________________________
"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by guest on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 5:02pm.
Hi Momus & Migrainey.
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Hi, Guest.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 5:02pm.
QueenieBK - Go on... My gift with words ends quickly. Congrats on your interviews!!!
=================
Thanks! Check this shit out:
(to the tune of the Beatles' "Polythene Pam"):
Well, you should see Piddling Pam
She smells like urine ‘cos she misses the can
You can tell when she’s there
The scent of pee in the air
Oh, you should smell Piddling Pam
Yuck, yuck, yuck!
Get a good whiff as she enters the place
It’s killer-diller and it shows on your face
She’s the kind of a lass
that could stink like an ass
Yes, you could say that you would rather sniff mace
Yuck, yuck, yuck!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Jack ewwww even with a good sealer? Not that mop on shit. The good sealer you would sit on the floor and paint on with a makeup brush in 3-4 coats? *whistles* *looks at tile floor*
Dog - Well you're experienced also?!?!
I imagine you're sore but can you feel the muscles tightening? No built up anger also, right??
I love this cat. I want this cat. It's the only bookmark on my phone. Damn Michael for showing it to me.
SDR I mucked out enough stalls to last me a lifetime when I was but a pup, thankyouverymuch.
Piloxing is amazing, though. Just wow.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 5:11pm.
Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 5:02pm.
guest - I just ate 1/4 of a watermelon. That should fill up mah belly for a little bit. Damned sweet tooth.
^^^^^^^^
I just started taking Piloxing classes. A combination of Pilates and boxing. Yeeeeeow, that shit is hard!
==========================
Oh heck Dog, you can come here and work FOR FREE!!! There is horse shit to be slung (arms and back), trees to be cut (leg, arms, back), garden to be weeded, barn to be built, house to finish, fence to build, paint, carpentry...
You name what body part you want worked on and we can hook you up!!!
Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 5:02pm.
guest - I just ate 1/4 of a watermelon. That should fill up mah belly for a little bit. Damned sweet tooth.
^^^^^^^^
I just started taking Piloxing classes. A combination of Pilates and boxing. Yeeeeeow, that shit is hard!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org