After 601 blog posts of Tammy Lynn Michaels doing nothing but moaning and groaning about how selfish lezmonster Melissa Etheridge left her with a flatlining checking account (aka $23,000 a month) and a mutilated heart stabbed by a shiny new rubber dick, their bitter bitch custody battle is finally over. Tammy Lynn managed to get through it without having to shut down her blog because she ate her fingers off due to almost dying of the starvation forced upon her by Melissa Etheridge. It’s the end of a “farting out blog haikus about your ex’s box of new dicks” era!
TMZ says that Melissa and Tammy Lynn both agreed to share custody of their 5-year-old twin boys. Tammy Lynn no longer has to eat nail clippings soup for dinner and she doesn’t have to suffer through EXTENSIVE retraining to get back into the work force, because Melissa is going to send her more than $23,000 a month in spousal and child support. We don’t know how much more, but at least you don’t have to spend your work day worrying about Tammy Lynn having to get a job, because she doesn’t have to do that anymore!
The selfish part of me will miss Tammy Lynn constantly Maya Angelou-ing about the trials and tribulations of a non-working single parent trying to support two chirruns on a six figure salary. But the unselfish part of me is glad that Tammy Lynn no longer has to buy her pussy balls at The Salvation Army. I swear, Tammy Lynn has played all of this flawlessly and it’s like Heather Mills was mentoring her the whole time. Trying to get thousands upon thousands of dollars out of your millionaire ex so you don’t have to work IS work. Bitch deserves to retire for that. “#GOTthatmoneybitch” – TLM