Laura Odes Was Too Sexy For Her Job

Samantha Brick feels her pain. Ringmaster of the press conference circus, Gloria Allred, took a little time out from defending massage therapists against John Travolta’s wiggly anus and paraded her newest client in front of the cameras in NYC yesterday. Meet Laura Odes, a 29-year-old New Jersey woman who claims that her Orthodox Jew bosses fired her from her data entry position at Native Intimates, a Manhattan-based lingerie distributor, because she couldn’t contain her natural sexy. Laura can’t help that her magnificent chichis are always magnificent and her bosses weren’t having that so they quit her two days after they hired her.

The bosses of that lingerie company must’ve had a temporary case of the can’t sees the day they interviewed Laura, because on her first day of work, she came in with the same titties she had on the day they hired her. Laura told reporters that she was dressed like all of her other co-workers, but her organic sexiness obviously did things to her bosses, because they told her to bind her titties down Brandon Teena-style. Laura didn’t do that, but the next day she wore the same outfit she wore to yesterday’s press conference. Laura’s beauty-hating supervisor told her she either needed to buy a long sweater dress that covered her ankles or wear a red bathrobe. Laura put on the robe and after her co-workers made fun of her, she left the office to buy a different outfit. While she was gone, her supervisor called her and told her not to come back. As Gloria Allred turned on the faux sympathy, her latest camera bait told reporters:

“When I was first told that I was too hot and that my breasts were too large, I was shocked. I thought that I was dressed appropriately every day for my job as a production assistant. I am Jewish as well and don’t feel any employer has the right to impose their religious beliefs on me.”

Laura is suing for gender and religious discrimination.

Gloria Allred needs to spend less time at trying to do herself up like Nancy Pelosi and more time at acting school. I know bitch is trying hard to look like she cares by picturing Laura (who sort of looks like a Lorax Baby Spice to me) as a giant bag of money, but it’s not working. If Laura was really fired for having big, beautiful titties, then I hope she wins and gets everything. But if there’s one thing I know about law, it’s that if you want your case to look credible, do not hire Gloria Allred. Not today. Not ever.