Monday, May 21st 2012

The Rachel + No Shirt = Miley At The Billboard Music Awards Last Night

Dressed like a nurse practitioner in a porn movie, Miley Cyrus went to the Billboard Music Awards in Las Vegas last night and made it perfectly clear that her chipmunk chichis can't be tamed. While I appreciate it when a ho leaves her shirt and pants at home, Miley can't pull off the "70s cougar at a swingers party" look. That big mop on her big head looks like a cross between The Rachel on paint fumes and Barbarella. The under titty chain does give off an elegant "dripping with class" vibe, but it's still not enough to save any of this. Bitch looks like Bugs Bunny's inbred second cousin in drag as Jane Fonda. Leave the "blazer with no top" look to Amanda Woodward, Miley!

If you really wanted to spend your Monday afternoon rinsing your retinas out with sequined fugness, skip through all the pictures of bitches looking a mess last night. In order: Dr. Slow Bunny McTitChain, the bain of Siri's existence, Nelly Furtado, Wiz Khalifa with Amber Rose, Brandy (giving us Muppet Diana Ross), Alicia Keys with Swizz Beak, Usher, Lisa Marie Presley with lesbian Tom Petty, Taylor Swift, Carrie Underwears with her husband, Robin Thicke (who must have sores on his pits), Natasha Bedingfield, that Call Me Maybe girl and The Lesbeaver.

Posted by: Michael K


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KeyLimePie's picture

Miley looks good. Just would like to see a little sliver of shorts or skirt under the jacket. But the hair, makeup, and tan look great.

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ditquoi's picture

Submitted by literarylioness on Tue, 05/22/2012 - 1:07am.

I so agree! This broad is WAY too old to be acting like this. I want shoot my TV whenever I see her. That Iphone commercial is uber annoying too. I want to say to her, "grow fucking up you asshole!"

right? who the hell gets tomato soup delivered the shit is $0.99 cents at the store...stock up, bitch.

literarylioness's picture

Another thing, Zooey's black tights and solid shoes do not go with that outfit. It's like the top is for go go dancer and the bottom is for a banker's secretary.

literarylioness's picture

Submitted by Janice Second on Mon, 05/21/2012 - 2:49pm.
Submitted by QueenieBK on Mon, 05/21/2012 - 1:25pm.
Zooey Deschanel annoys the hell out of me.
Her wide-eyed doofus act and the precious spelling of her first name really annoys me.

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Well, her first name isn't really her fault, it's her parents... but it definitely does not help at all.

I no-so-secretly wish I could make her cry. Too dark? Haha. I loathe Zooey. That cutesy act can sort of fly when you're in your late teens or early 20s, but bitch is in her early 30s, which is not old, but too old for that fucking "adorkable" act.
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I so agree! This broad is WAY too old to be acting like this. I want shoot my TV whenever I see her. That Iphone commercial is uber annoying too. I want to say to her, "grow fucking up you asshole!"

Miley wouldn't look so bad if she stopped dressing like a 70's pornstar. Whoever in her circle nods their head yes when she ask if this will make her look edgy, older and serious - hates her f'in guts. Kelly Osbourne I'm looking at you.

loopygorilla's picture

Fking bitch Mylie got to rub fuck parts with English twink Douglas Booth.

I know he might be abit to pretty for some of you ladies :)

but for me, on a would you hit it scale of 1 to 10, i would say 7.

WinterOwl22's picture

Somebody please give Wiz Khalifa a 4x4 In-N-Out burger and an order of fries, a large milk shake to wash it down wif cuz he is soooo skinny! I'm afraid that his hip bones are going to make Amber's ass balloons pop! D :

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The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Nightowl, is ready to PARTAY!

Mani6's picture

The older she gets the better she looks. Maturity suits her well.

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www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEdXSOBApIg&feature=related

loopygorilla's picture

Meh the porn star Usher Banks looks better than Usher Raymond.

I'm surprised Zooey was seen at such a "mainstream" event because she has her precious indie hipster rep/act to keep up. I mean in the end, she's just like everyones else--in it for the money, but I'm surprised there wasn't some sort of banjo performance of her strangle worthy song about Cotton (The FAAAAABric of our Lives) with a box of kittens as the back up band somehow.

skabazzle's picture

Miley has potential to be a real bombshell imo but she just tries too hard and overdoes it. She sure snagged a cute boyfriend, though.

Well aren't you just carrying around a big bag of nothing!

WithinReason...'s picture

Wowlie, me too. I like the song and want to hear the rest of the album. It surprises me how Nelly's been working for 15-16 years now and somehow continues to keep a fresh sound. ;P

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦♮♠░░░░

WinterOwl22's picture

WithinReason, I like her new song but I hope her album doesn't sound like that. But I have heard clips of her recording process and I'm pretty sure this single isn't going to represent her whole album. : )

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The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Nightowl, is ready to PARTAY!

oops

WithinReason...'s picture

Hey Wowlie, I heard Nelly Furtado's performance was really good too. Will have to YT it later or just watch her video, everyone looks horrendous here... hahahaha! ;P

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦♮♠░░░░

WinterOwl22's picture

WithinReason, these award shows are really bad! I only watch when there's someone that I really like. Nelly Furtado was the only reason I watched. : )

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The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Nightowl, is ready to PARTAY!

WinterOwl22's picture

The jacket with the shoulder pads is such a bad idea on a girl with a body like Miley. She doesn't have enough hips so she looks like she has man shoulders.

I  Nelly! I like her dress but I don't like the black bra peeking through. Or the earrings from what I can see in this pic. And the shoes are boring. Can't wait for her new album! 

I was cringing when Brandy was presenting Chris Brown. Her last albums haven't done well, and I'm not sure you want to closely associate with Chris Brown when you want to have a comeback. Like her though. Hope she does well. : /

Ushers suit annoys me. I hate it when ppl jump on trends for the sake of it. Theres NO WAY he would have worn somethong like this 3 or 4 years ago. When I see people try so hard to out-do each other, it makes me really wish that Andre 3000 would make an album and show them up so these ppl can just sit down and let a true weirdo (and I mean that in a good way) does it!

I like Taylor's hair.

Robyn Thicke is a one hit wonder pretty much. He will never make another song as successful as "Lost Without you" or whatever it's called.

I can't believe that "Call Me Maybe" girl is that old. She sounds like she's 12 years old! And I thought it was sone Disney girl singing. I have to admit, though, that I like it. *hides*

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The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Nightowl, is ready to PARTAY!

I don't think Miley looks that bad.

*shrugs*

WithinReason...'s picture

Don't mind the under titty chain but this show looks like a disaster, so glad I missed it! And speaking of shit, the LesBeaver looks constipated in the last thumb. olollol ;P

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦♮♠░░░░

ditquoi's picture

nice steel wool apron dress, Zooey...you can cook dinner AND scrub the pots and pans in that thing.

and yeah it's not that she looks bad, it just looks like she forgot to put on part of the outfit. all she had to do is slap some hot pants on and it would have been perfect.

Scott in NYC's picture

It's not so much Miley's outfit....it's that ridiculous hair & makeup. Looks like she's trying for 90s Kylie 2.0. But it's not working.

OzKat's picture

I just can't get over how far her collarbones are jutting out now.

Lime Green Triumph's picture
Dog's picture

Raise your hand if you want to just throw Justin Bieber into a trash compactor. God, I hate that little shit.

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

-Louisa's picture

I kinda like it but I would like it a lot better if the blazer was shorter and she was wearing shorts or a skirt.

Her boobs are so saggy for a nineteen year old.

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"That bitch is scary. She really needs to be sat on a tricycle asking people if they want to play a game." - billykelly789-1 on Lady GaGa (IMDB 22/07/2011)

Lime Green Triumph's picture

Carrie Underwood looks like she is dressed to go to prom in that Windsor Fashions dress of hers... FAIL.

Whatever's picture

Miley looks tacky put a fucking shirt on! Bieber is a douche as usual and Usher looks like he belongs at a 1980's prom. I like Taylor's dress and hair and make-up. Who's the tacky broad with the sneakers and plastic rings?

Is Carrie Cuntcovers serious with that dress? And I give her marriage another year.

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Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac

Oddly_Titillating's picture

Ugh. THIS BITCH. I hate that she's still clinging to that last scrap of relevance, and I hate that she's doing it basically by shoving her GROWN AND SEXY, YA'LL body down our throats. I can't wait until she fades into the Appalachia oblivion for good.

Tom Petty looks like the Mad Hatter's gay brother.

sonne's picture

Submitted by QueenieBK on Mon, 05/21/2012 - 1:25pm.

Zooey Deschanel annoys the hell out of me.
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Amen!!
I don't know who most of those people are in the photos either. The American scene is a mystery to me now, lol.

kanderso's picture

OH MY GOD, CAN PEOPLE PLEASE WEAR PANTS???? Errybody walks around in their underoos these days and acts like there's nothing weird about it!

*yells at kids to get off my lawn*

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"Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don't! BAM!" - MK as Taylor Momsen

agirl's picture

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 05/21/2012 - 1:57pm.
Submitted by agirl on Mon, 05/21/2012 - 1:33pm.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 05/21/2012 - 12:30pm.
"Nice tits, however, she is the most annoying person on the damn planet."

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Jack! I thought you only said that about ME!!

*bursts into tears*
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I've never said anything about your tits. :P

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lolololol

mefunigirl's picture

Submitted by BaconSlut on Mon, 05/21/2012 - 1:40pm.

Agree!
I think a tailored pair of shorts would have made a lot of difference in this outfit, it still would show lotsa leg, but made her look less stupid. She looks like she forgot her pants.

although I have to say, for her I think she looks good, I actually like the hair....but how the hell do you wear jewelry AROUND your boobs? how does it fasten?? does it go around like a bra? or around the arms/pits?
it sounds really uncomfortable and between that and trying to figure out how to sit in just a jacket without showing her bits, it all sounds like a pain in the ass.

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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz

jelliebean's picture

"Hillbilly D.N.A" a humble ditty
*hums to the tune of Camptown Races*
Hillbilly D.N.Aaayy, hillbilly d.n.aayy
Bet my money on the bucktoothed gel,
Somebody bet on the gray.
Gwine to run all night, (in no drawers)....

Whamo's picture

Submitted by IrishFury on Mon, 05/21/2012 - 1:51pm.

I have a summer dress on today that shows a small bit of cleav but it goes down to my knees. You shouldn't do both.
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I love those long summer dresses especially when the sunlight hits them a certain way and you can see the body ever so slightly through them, I find that extremely sexy:P

Momus the Sarcastic's picture

Miley: Stop trying to look like Adele; she has more talent in her pinkie fingernail than you ever will.

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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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Janice Second's picture

Submitted by QueenieBK on Mon, 05/21/2012 - 1:25pm.
Zooey Deschanel annoys the hell out of me.
Her wide-eyed doofus act and the precious spelling of her first name really annoys me.

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Well, her first name isn't really her fault, it's her parents... but it definitely does not help at all.

I no-so-secretly wish I could make her cry. Too dark? Haha. I loathe Zooey. That cutesy act can sort of fly when you're in your late teens or early 20s, but bitch is in her early 30s, which is not old, but too old for that fucking "adorkable" act.

Miley's abdomen (just below the tits) looks weird...is it a streaky self-tan? Or a shadow?

Why is the "Call Me Maybe?" girl so old? I thought that song was by some tween/Disney darling.

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An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.

***

Morning in the trailer park.
The owner of the local KFC sobered up, realized where he was, ran out of the trailer without his jacket.
The town lush, Miley Cyrus, threw on the jacket and nothing else, ran after his white caddy before giving up when she realized there was a packet of smokes in that white jacket after all.
Finger licking good.

The Sunshine Gang's picture

Taylor Swift is evil to the core.

Submitted by QueenieBK on Mon, 05/21/2012 - 1:25pm.

Zooey Deschanel annoys the hell out of me.

Her wide-eyed doofus act and the precious spelling of her first name really annoys me.

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Amen. I'm so sick of this one-noter and her hipster cewpie doll shit.