Somebody Let White Oprah Hold Their Baby
A bear trap, a sloth with a drinking problem, a Skee-Ball ball, the animatronic Abraham Lincoln from Disneyland, a pigeon skeleton, a cardboard cutout of the It Clown, Donatella Versace, John Travolta's weekday wig, the creepy girl at the groomers who told me my dog has nice legs, an empty can of Tab, the broken Sleep 'N Snore Ernie in my childhood bedroom closet, Blue Ivy Carter, green ivy (the plant), a skunk's nose hair and a pack of wolves in sheep's clothing are all things I'd let my hold my baby before I'd let White Oprah hold my baby.
Either somebody disagrees with me or they asked all those things to hold their baby and all those things were busy doing other stuff. Because today at The Grove in L.A., Lindsay Lohan's pimp mom held an actual living, breathing human baby being without the supervision of several government agencies. I don't know if White Oprah knows that baby or she just randomly picked that baby up, but I find it really strange that a plainclothes Child Protective Services agent didn't immediately tackle her to the ground while another agent grabbed the baby. Shouldn't CPS be tailing her at all times?
On a positive note, if I was a baby, I'd want White Oprah to hold me too. White Oprah's breath is 100 proof and the shittiest thing about being a baby is that you can't buy your own booze.
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This is actually Lindsay in her blonde weave again. Leg skin sag & beer paunch give her away.
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Holy shit!!! That was FUNNY!!!! I laughed till I wept! Where does it effing come from???? I have to read it again ...
This is hilarious! Great writing today :D LOL!
"*puppy dog eyes* Oh please, please, pretty please friend her. And then keep us updated on her shenanigans. Think of it as taking one for the team."
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Oh, Cowie. Lawd, Lawd to the NO! Do you know how many drunken, whorey Long Island Bitches I offed on FB? I just couldn't subject my psyche to another one, even for the team. I'd need a rubber room. Those L.I. women are hellacious. I did sneak through W.O.'s profile, though, which surprisingly (?) she leaves fairly open. Either not tech savvy, or a fameho to the core.
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Fair is foul and foul is fair..
Thank you MK. That opening paragraph just made my morning.
Ugly old lizard face.
I saw her on Access Hollyweird Live the other day and she clearly was hung over. Of course she did what she always does when anyone gives her the time of day, naming off all her kids' 'accomplishments' and how hard it is being a single mom blah blah blah.
Babies can't buy their own booze...that's whats wrong!
Concept kills me
MK u r genius!
Mani6 thx for link to Lindsay's new bf. Very interesting.
Do I spy a GUNT in the front in the full body pics?
And why are her knees looking dirty??
The scariest shit about this whole post is that I honestly thought it was LiLo herself and not her crazy cracked out mom.
(And just so we're clear, that is NOT a compliment. To either of them.)
that baby is as high as a kite right now.
Submitted by Fujicat on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 9:31pm.
All this week Facebook has been suggesting W.O. as a friend for me as we have FOUR common friends.
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*puppy dog eyes* Oh please, please, pretty please friend her. And then keep us updated on her shenanigans. Think of it as taking one for the team.
Looking at the photo alone, I would have guessed it was Rielle Hunter with a botched nose job.
"The Dingo Has My Baby".
She's a DOG.
White Oprah uis RIDICuLOUS. Is that the strung out superstar look? Is she... a... strungout... superstar?! Jeebus!
Looks scary too... please keep those cameras as FAR back as possible! TYVVM ;p
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦♮♠░░░░
"Shouldn't CPS be tailing her at all times?" bwhahahahahahaha
I love this post. Fujicat, I shuddered at your evil encounter. That is sad and explains a lot, poor Ali.
Wow. I thought that was Rielle Hunter!
In the other Lohan news it looks like somebody needs their bills paid again.
http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2012/05/lindsay-lohan-vikram-chatw...
Submitted by mahaatma on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 9:40pm.
@ Fujicat
Be happy! You did not accept WO as a friend therefore saving yourself (and your baby) from this evil whore-mom and her drama. You made the right choice.
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Thank you for the comforting words, mahaatma. I did have the unfortunate experience of meeting this horrible woman. I was selling jewelry I design and make at a church fair on Long Island about 8 years ago, and in she walked with this sweet, but sickly skinny little girl (Ali). Ali bought a beautiful vintage Swarovski piece from me "for her sister for Christmas." That next week, there was (still pretty) Lindsay in some magazine wearing my creation! But that child's haunted eyes, and the horrible, mean vibe from the mother, who was very nasty to Ali, and who also tried to shake me down on price, that has stayed with me all these years. I have NEVER met anyone who oozed pure hostility and intimidation more than Dina Lohan. How I pitied that child.
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Fair is foul and foul is fair..
The sunglasses should be able to replica oakleys provide complete protection from the harmful rays of the sun when you are outdoors.
It was either a baby or a green Birkin bag. Interchangeable accessories, really.
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Please: It's "rahnday."
She's probably one of those women who loves babies when theyre little but can't deal when they're big enough to cause trouble and call her out on her shit.
Btw, great lol title and first graf MK - stellar stuff
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"End well: this isn't going to." - MK
@. Mynameisntmediu
In my Hungarian culture this was called in English, e-gazing, and the way you kept this from happening was putting a ribbon or other object of attention on your child so the evil eye would not steal from your child's soul. All my relatives did this to protect their children. It makes sense to me as I've observed through the years that neither children nor animals like to be stared at.
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A vagina is NOT a clown car!
Thumb 10: someone ordered Mussels with White Wine so sit me on that end of the table. W.O. can nibble her lettuce and hop away.
At least Lindsay herself hasn't reproduced.
Srsly, this indicates there's at least some shred of humanity still left in that crack brain.
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"End well: this isn't going to." - MK
Poor baby.
She's sucking the life-essence from the child to keep herself young and beauti... ...to keep herself alive
@ Fujicat
Be happy! You did not accept WO as a friend therefore saving yourself (and your baby) from this evil whore-mom and her drama. You made the right choice.
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A vagina is NOT a clown car!
She looks ridiculous in that get-up.
When your knees are that saggy, midi is the way.
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"Physical violence is the least of my priorities." - Drunken Albertan
All this week Facebook has been suggesting W.O. as a friend for me as we have FOUR common friends.
(knocks back Nyquil, a handful of Benadryl, Jack minus Coke, and chases with whiskey..Nope. Still depressed).
---------------------------------
Fair is foul and foul is fair..
A cardboard cut out of the "IT" clown. LMAO!
You know Lindsay is going to look just like this in a few...oh wait she's starting to look like this now!
@ Fat Lady
Sounds like me and you could calm a few babies... In the process.
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A vagina is NOT a clown car!
Haven't made it past the 1st paragraph...cuz I am CRYING!
"a sloth with a drinking problem....Donatella....a skunk's nose hair" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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"Physical violence is the least of my priorities." - Drunken Albertan
Seriously my mom is almost 20 years older than white oprah and she looks 10 years younger. Her face! **************************************************************
I'm jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo - Blanche Devereaux
That list is awesome!!
Better be careful, I'd bet she is a baby-eating lechuza.
Is anyone else watching the insane season finale of Gray's? Dammit, too much overdrama but I'm watching.
LMAO I just read MK's commentary. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.
*swooon*
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I'm jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo - Blanche Devereaux
Christ, her legs! Linds is trending that way already.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Please: It's "rahnday."
Submitted by Saphris on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 8:32pm.
Damnit you beat me to it! Only I was going to quote Mean Girls....Annnnnnnnnnnd now i guess she's on crack. And then pray someone would have gotten the reference.
NINJA'D!
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I'm jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo - Blanche Devereaux
Submitted by mahaatma on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 8:58pm.
Yeah, you know... before they invented Benadryl. Which ain't right either. * hides Benadryl and pours another Jack and coke * * hides baby *
Nooo. BENADRYL® was for "Scare quote" ALLERGIES "Scare quote off/".
Screw Ben. I'm all for NyQuil! Even comes with a shot glass! How fucked up is THAT?
i hope those sterilizer things that people use on toothbrushes, etc. come in size "human baby"
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
MK, you truly are a literary genius. <3
WO looks like ChupaZoe here. Scary!
www.poopreport.com :)
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Good god, has she got a rough complexion or what? It looks all pocked & nasty & shit. Typical Lohan. At least I think this one showers; I can't say that much for her daughter.
@ Fat Lady
Yeah, you know... before they invented Benadryl. Which ain't right either. * hides Benadryl and pours another Jack and coke * * hides baby *
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A vagina is NOT a clown car!
Submitted by mahaatma on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 8:44pm.
Back in the day, they used to rub a little whiskey on the baby's gums when teething.... this is the same thing without the rubbing.
Yeah. Right. For 'teething. lol
Parents also give their babies benadryl to knock them out. That's not right either.