Man Candles brought to you by the store and catalog company that fills your nostrils with the scent of baked goods, flower farts and fresh laundry. Yankee Candles is now trying to lure in dudes with their new line of Mandles that includes scents like “Riding Mower,” “First Down,” “2 X 4” and “Man Town.” Doesn’t John Travolta’s b-hole already own the trademark for the name “Man Town“? I smell a lawsuit in a candle jar. Make that TWO lawsuits.
I totally get that the manliest manly men of Man Town will never buy a candle that smells like freshly baked cookies since it’ll turn them into a woman (obviously), but those kind of dudes will never buy a candle no matter what it smells like. So Yankee Candle is doing this all wrong and should change everything. I mean, “Riding Mower“? Didn’t The Gap do the “fresh cut grass” scent centuries ago? “2 X 4″? That sounds like the Small Penis Society’s official scent.
If YC really wants their Mandles to sell, they need the following scents: “Dirty Jockstrap Hanging Over a Locker Room Bench,” “Cum Rag,” “Sweaty Armpit in August,” “Glory Hole Delights,” “Tea Bagging” and “Salad Tosser Breath.”
Just think of all the money Yankee Candles would make from all the dirty dudes who type “worn used athletic socks” in the eBay search bar. Try again, YC!
(Thanks, Simon and Lee)