Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

May 17, 2012 / Posted by:

In the late 00′s, his face was starting to sag and lose its elasticity. His face pretty much fluttered in the breeze as he ran. He had lines around his eyes and bags under them.

Now, frankly, this is not a big deal. All faces age. Really! But this ego maniacal liar wants you to believe that he is no mere mortal, and that his looks are all natural because he lives such an extraordinary life. That’s right, People! He’s not like you! He works hard to stay young! He has never had plastic surgery and never will! Or so he claims.

Here’s the truth: He had a nose job when he was in his teens (he had the bridge thinned out). He had his teeth completely redone (although we wouldn’t include teeth in the plastic surgery category). He had his eyeballs replaced. He had a mid-section face lift and lower blepharoplasty (eye job) around 2009. He is currently holding off on upper eye work (because that would drastically change his look). Now he just has regular injections of Botox and Restylane to freeze things up and plump them out. Hey, it’s good work, he doesn’t look “done”, and his face settled in nicely six months after the plastic surgery. But it’s still plastic surgery. And he is still a liar. (Blind Gossip)

Tommy Girl? Exhibit: EVERYTHING.

But I resent this blind item! Tommy is as honest as he is heterosexual. Tommy would rather put his lips on the taint of the hired Scientology man slave that comes to tuck his no-no in every night than tell a lie. Tommy’s almost wrinkle-free face comes from years of not being glib, and he tells Stepford Katie to randomly flash her chocha at him when he least expects it. It makes his face skin jump up. It’s a natural face-lift! Don’t be jealous of Tommy’s natural beauty.

Which former A-lister and Hollywood womanizer – he supposedly sowed his wild oats before getting married and raising a family – hasn’t been that loyal? The Oscar winner has been having phone sex with a C-list celebrity for years behind his famous actress/wife’s back! (National Enquirer via Blind Gossip)

Warren Beatty as the A-lister and Stephanie Seymour as the C-list celebrity? I’m impressed that Warren is still fucking with his voice at the age of 75. Yes, I’m sure he falls asleep halfway through, but at least he tries.

This music group recently left their record label. They publicly announced that they had outgrown the label and were moving in a new direction. Everyone thanked each other for their years together and wished each other well in the future. Blah, blah, blah. Lies, lies, lies.

Do you want to know what really happened?

Well, the truth is that the music group was totally fired. Yes, fired!

The label had warned them numerous times that they needed to clean up their act. Their fans were drifting away because they were tired of their ridiculous faux relationships of all the members of the group, and the troubling, r*hab-worthy behavior of one of the members of the group (Member C). If they didn’t get their act together and start making music again – together – the label wasn’t interested in keeping them.

But the group and their manager had grown arrogant and lazy. They didn’t want to listen to the label that had made them into a success. They weren’t interested in creating music as a group or touring anymore. They just wanted the fame and the money that their very greedy and very controlling manager convinced them that they deserved – just for being them!

So Member A left to try another solo venture. That venture – which had been successful up until the time Member A joined – had to shut down when he couldn’t bring in an audience. Over a hundred people lost their jobs. And his fakey fake relationship with an older woman simply annoyed everyone, especially his former fans. He’s in a new fake relationship now.

Member B lost all control over his own life. He let his manager set him up in a fake marriage and is now letting his wife dictate his next ridiculous gig (which is designed to promote her, not him).

Member C wanted to do a solo album in between drinking binges. The label advised him against it because there had been a backlash from fans after one of his faux relationships. He did the album anyway. It bombed. He blamed the label.

That was the final straw. The label fired all of them. They practically gave them their songs back. Anything to get them out the door as fast as possible and completely sever ties with them and their idiotic manager. Good riddance. (Blind Gossip)

Nick Jonas, Kevin Jonas and Joe Jonas. Done.

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