While Sacha Baron Cohen was off playing with his old bitch, George Clooney played with a new bitch in Malibu. And this one’s a ginge! George treated his new Ginger Retriever friend like the lady or gentlemen that she or he is by gently shaking her or his paw during their first date. Okay, I’m using that “she or he” shit, because after doing a thorough examination with my eyes of this dog’s crotch area, I still don’t know whether it’s a dude or a lady. (I’m pretty sure that last sentence is exactly what the pediatrician said to my mom after my first psychical.) Let’s just make it easy and give George’s friend the totally creative name of Ginger.
George and Ginger shared many beautiful moments together while shooting an Android commercial that’s only going to air in Italy (because George is fancy like that). George usually doesn’t date his co-stars, but he should make an exception for Ginger. After hiring basic bland boring bitch after basic bland boring bitch to be his red carpet escort, George should get with a natural beauty with a personality. Ginger has talent (Sarah Larson is my hero, but I’d like to see her sit and stay on command), doesn’t need a $5,000 designer gown to look glamorous and will never bark out the English word “marriage.” Ginger is perfect! Come on, George, put Ginger’s paw on the contract.