Enter Gloria Allred

May 16, 2012 / Posted by:

In “Why in wiggly anus hell didn’t I see this coming?” news, super lawyer Gloria Allred has found a way to get a starring role in this messy John Travolta saga. It looks like I was every layer of false when I said that John Doe #1 withdrew his $2 million lawsuit against John Travolta because he was paid off. John Doe #1 hired Gloria Allred and the two will decide whether or not he’s going to sue a bitch again. I have been thinking that what this John Travolta vs. T Entire Massage Industry drama needs is a theatrical press conference starring dramatic ass Gloria “Norma Desmond” Allred!

John Doe #1’s first lawyer, Okorie Okorocha, filed papers to dismiss the lawsuit after they both decided to go their separate ways. Without a lawyer and with hos throwing a suspicious squint at him for getting the date of the alleged groping wrong, most of us figured his case was as dead as the animal on Travolta’s head. But the Captain Save-A-Ho of attorneys tells Radar that the case is alive and she’s going to squeeze every last drop of attention leche from it:

” I represent John Doe #1. Mr. Doe’s lawsuit was dismissed without prejudice which means that he is still legally entitled to file another lawsuit against John Travolta if he chooses. We are in the process of conferring with him regarding the next steps, which he may wish to take. Our client and our firm has no further comment at this time.”

John Doe #1 doesn’t need to ever comment, because Gloria Allgreen will say everything that needs to be said when she stages a live reenactment of the incident for the media in the conference room of her office. Now is Gloria’s chance to top her priceless baseball bat butt sex ballet:

Since it’s been Trollvolta overload around here and you’re going to need several years of hypnotherapy to rid your brain of the images of his hungry hungry hole saying “Feed me, Seymour!” to a massage therapist’s finger, here’s something that might temporarily ease the pain. Presenting…Shemar Moore’s nipples in Cannes!

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