Micaela Schäfer Does It Again
At the Men in Black 3 premiere in Berlin yesterday, Will Smith, Josh Brolin and Nicole ScherMINGEr all received a lesson in sophistication and style when Germany's high priestess of class Micaela Schäfer floated onto the red carpet wearing a stunning couture ensemble exclusively made by your old shitty VHS player that ate almost every tape. Micaela, who was diagnosed with elegant-itis which causes beauties to overheat if they wear actual clothes, showed us all that it doesn't take much to look like the epitome of a lady. All you need is a dog chain collar from Petco, black panties, an 80s belt from the Salvation Army, barf from a VHS tape, a pair of camera-ready nipples and zero amounts of shame.
Yes, it's true that after the premiere, janitors mistook Micaela for a shredded trash bag that was ransacked by raccoons and threw her into a dump truck, but I'm sure she looked absolutely gorgeous as she climbed out of the landfill.