Hot Slut Of The Day!

James Peterson, our new fist-pumping champion of the world! New Jersey is already hanging its head today, because it’s always hungover and it’s Jersey, but today it’s hanging its head extra lower in shame. Because New Jersey has been shown up by a fist pumper from Ohio. OHIO!

The unemployed electrician wanted to make his own special mark on the world and so he did it by fisting the imaginary b-hole in the air for 16 hours straight. Our new fist pumping king started prostate punching his way to making his fist pumping dreams come true at a pub in Akron (DUH!) at 11am on Friday morning. James asked a professional videographer to record every fist pump he pumped while walking around the University of Akron for the next 16 hours. James pumped out his last fist pump at 3am at the same pub he started. James is so serious about his fist pumping craft that he super glued his fist together. As King Fist Pump leaned to his right side since his right bicep is now 5 pounds heavier than his left one, he bragged about his achievement to Ohio.com:

“I have set the qualifications for this record and every minute that I do this is a new record. My fist is super-glued together to ensure I maintain perfect fist formation. I used to hang light fixtures, so I am used to having my hands above my head.

James plans to send all of the evidence of his fist pumping world record to Guinness.

So James sort of looks like a humanized peen with eyes, is really serious about maintaining fist formation and can fist for hours on end without taking a break…. If it is your dream to break the world record for the most continuous John Travolta jokes made in the comment section of one blog post, now is your chance!

via Arbroath