When TMZ said that someone is trying to sell a 45 minute-long jack off tape starring Tyson Beckford, horny whores from all around laid down the tarp, stocked up on lube, Saran Wrapped their mouse and made sure the credit card they use only for porn sites has enough room on it to buy this shit when it comes out. But Tyson said on Twitter that it’s not that serious and everyone can pull up their chonies, because the tape is not worth your fapping energy.
TMZ says that the tape is of Tyson handjobbing himself during a webcam chat with a lady model. In between squeezing his peen, Tyson bitches about always being mistaken for Tyrese and talks about some of his co-stars. Tyson tweeted (and then deleted) about his solo sexy times tape yesterday:
Tyson went on Twitter yesterday to address the issue with fans … saying he’s “sad but life goes on.”
“Don’t even faze me” … Tyson added … “We all do it, just mine got caught on film.”
He also admitted, “Not much of a sex tape lol.”
Who cares if Tyson’s sex tape is nothing but him yanking at his dick while saying through clenched teeth “I am not Tyrese dammit, I am not Tyrese dammit” over and over again? Who cares if Tyson’s unpruned crotch shrub is going to distract us from the hand-on-dick action? Who cares if it’s suspiciously suspect that Tyson’s fap tape is mysteriously making the rounds just weeks before his reality shit show comes out? Who cares if Tyson’s dumb ass didn’t think to promote his reality show in his fap tape by using anal beads (with “The Choice, this summer on FOX” written on each bead) on himself? Who cares about any of that? The only thing I care about is whether or not Tyson’s self-love tape is coming out before or after OctoMom’s, because we’re going to need a palate cleanser.