Saturday, May 12th 2012

Anne Hathaway's At The Beach

Well, now I know what I would look like if I changed my ethnicity, flat ironed my hair with two steam irons, used a teeth pump to grow my teefs, bleached my skin and somehow found a way to move the chunks of lard in my gut up into my titty area. Thanks for that, Anne Hathaway!

With her skin covered in SPF: Anti-Tan Mom, Anne frolicked and dipped into the ocean in Miami with some of her friends including polo player Nacho Figueras. As some of your asses know, Anne has a good reason for why her hair looks like it was cut by a 95-year-old blind paraplegic man with blunt knives tied to the stumps where his hands used to be. Bitch did it for that Les Miserable movie. So because Anne will probably win an OSCAH! (or at least a Razzie), I won't totally shade her for looking like a 19th century street urchin boy who singed his hair off while roasting rats on a trash can grill. It's very "please, sir, can I want some more" glamour.

Posted by: Michael K


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notreallyworking's picture

Somebody call the police! Someone has stolen her ass!

"I've had crabs. I've had lice. I've had the clap and that ain't nice. SO WHAT!?!?!?!"

"I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure..."

MommytoaLittleMan's picture

She was so fucking hot in Love and Other Drugs...now not so much!! :(

Sugartits's picture

She has a shapeless old lady body.

__________________________________________________

"You gonna give me my car, or do I gotta go to your house and shove your dog's head down the toilet?" Repo Man

Mel-Tang's picture

@Sandbitch....I'm LMAO @ your tribute to S & F!!!! Great job!!!! :)

www.poopreport.com :)

<3-------------------------------<3

RIMADYL KILLS

pixxxie's picture

this cut is horrible..

it's close to the britney breakdown shave-hair-gate

what 5 year old did she pay to cut her hair with scissors..

she don't fool me with the men she "dates"... just come on out now anne

Naughychimp's picture

Love Anne's pale skin. She looks tall, too, which I like. Besides that, I think she's fug and while I don't object to short hair on principle, I think this cut looks terrible on Anne and emphasizes her grotesquely over-sized features.

@ IrishFury - congrats on selling your article! What's the subject?

@ All you whorz - joyful Mothers Day. My mom is dead and I have no kids so this holiday leaves me dead inside but I hope all of you had breakfast in bed and lots of flowers.

kittymuffin's picture

Happy Mothers day to all you moms..sorry if im coming off as a bitch..but my teen age daughter and her sleeping at my house boyfriend every night has got me sipping the whisky..peace

I like Anne. She will age well, while her overly tanned counterparts will look like leather handbags.

"This fuckery could also double as an anthem for cats in the workforce." - Michael K, 5/1/12.

WWJDFAKB's picture

Looking at that picture is making me hungry for some pancakes.

---------------------------------------
What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?

Happy Mother's Day, Dlisted mamas (and to the dads who may be both)! Hope you all have a great one.

***********************************************
Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac

Fucking Insane's picture

Submitted by doncorleone on Sun, 05/13/2012 - 11:06am.

I want to die
============

No you don't. You're just having a bad Mother's Day.

doncorleone's picture

I want to die

RandéSleepover's picture

Submitted by Heroic Cupcake on Sun, 05/13/2012 - 10:31am.

Sunscreen is our friend. Fake tans are ugly, orange, and smell bad. Real tans are aging, skin damaging, and dangerous to your health.

There's also widespread vitamin D deficiency in the US. The lack of D (best obtained from the sun) has overall health implications. The cause is partly increased use of sunscreen, but also the fact that fewer and fewer of us work or play outdoors. Gardeners, say, or lifeguards have off-the-chart D levels (and increased skin cancer).

* * * * * * * * * * *
Please: It's "rahnday."

Submitted by dementa on Sun, 05/13/2012 - 3:19am.

You know you're a boring, boring person when a post about you becomes an open post. :D

On that note Happy to all the dlisted Mommies!

Oh...and for all you dog lovers, they need a mom too!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhzf7eOmUew&feature=related

Albatross's picture

Wake up, MK!!!

**********
"I prefer my pieces the same way I prefer my Slim Jims, long, lean and mute" --the incomparable MK

Happy Mother's Day Dlisted Mamas!

My Mother's Day sucks the big one! I have to go work for a man who is now mad at me for being too tired and too in pain to attend high school graduation receptions last nite..Because I felt fine when I asked for the eve off two weeks ago..and I work 10 hours today - too. I am 6 fucking months pregnant and if I feel like ass after a long work week that's my fucking business -- if all I wanna do is sleep, what's it to anyone?? I haven't seen my mom or grandma in 9 Mother's Days and I am really fucking tired of stupid bitches causing stupid fucking drama. It's nice to have a place to rant -- even if it's under Anne Hathaways lumpy looking body.. if you wanna go ahead and rat me out for staying home to sleep..go the fuck ahead you're the one who has to look at your 'i can't believe it's not buttah' teeth in the goddamn mirror everyday.

Oh and btw Facebook has spies.

@>---- for the mamas! Hope you get spoiled.

Heroic Cupcake's picture

Sunscreen is our friend. Fake tans are ugly, orange, and smell bad. Real tans are aging, skin damaging, and dangerous to your health. Wanna see wrinkles and deep lines on a 25 year old? No need to Google Blohan pics, just take a look at the street skanks who have been using tanning beds since Jr. High. Age spots, blotches, leathery skin and crow's feet for miles.

Sayonara's picture

I don't know why they put Cat Lady in the new Batman movie.

(973) Jersey Strong

Bossy's picture

Don't find this woman sexually alluring at all.

WTFOMGLOL's picture

Submitted by Sandbitch on Sun, 05/13/2012 - 12:09am.

Sucky - Ultimate Grand Supreme Dlisted Celebrity
http://youtu.be/kYrxbOV_znM

=======================================

OMG. LOLOLOLOLOL

you are awesome.

You know you're a boring, boring person when a post about you becomes an open post. :D She's just a really boring person, and I don't see that changing unless she morphs into Courtney Love.

*********

I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?desktop_uri=/watch?v=qEziOcoeFpY&v=qEziOcoe...

This was what I meant lachaylo......if I bet the internets, hard to find my shiiiiiit! Stupid copywriter *grukmbls*

Ok so since I'm drunk and filter less and shit.....I love all You stupid asswhores and want you to appreciate the cunt- slapping ways of judge Judy and so want her to be hot slut of the yr...she's capable of razor slapping lying cunt, n just slapping the lie tellers, no mattr what

*would die happy if she was judge judy*

LaChaylo's picture

Hiya painted lady!! I said EMILIOOOO because of Night at the Roxbury:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJw9Ro9UQNM

I'm sorry Mother's day is a tough for some you. I hope something or someone makes your day brighter.

kittymuffin's picture

sends fresh stash of catnip to kittymuffin*

kitty has a new best freind..named LaChaylo

Aww sand bitch. That is a fuck all of a mothers day tale to tell. I feel esp bad us I've laughed at your posts in th past, and well, idk there is some guilt in taking pleasure in what some one else binge without Irving a fuck about them.i always dug "unaolved mysteries" when they did family reuinites shit.im sorry to hear yours ws pork fat n crap pile.if I could share my mommy I would....

Not actually editing, just acknowledging the drunky poos on post. DURP!

Sandbitch's picture

Although I don't know my mom well, the few times we have spent together have been, well, hilarious. She is one of few ppl that can make me laugh until I cry.

It takes some time to break down her psychological defences, which is understandible I guess.

I also have an adopted sister out there somewhere, although my mother has never mentioned or acknowleged her existence. Guilt must be a shit of thing to live with innit.

I'd like to find my sister one day.

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Sucky - Ultimate Grand Supreme Dlisted Celebrity
http://youtu.be/kYrxbOV_znM

Really? My comment is dost to the ages?wtf internets? I said lachaylo....I said it before but thread was dead ish....so hard to appreciate voice in a text,did you say Emili oooooo like american dad??? Because between that and your avie, I am in love!

LaChaylo's picture

*Shares crazy but very loving Mexican mom with Sandbitch *

*sends fresh stash of catnip to kittymuffin*

Happy mother's day to all you moms, grandmas, aunts, whoever has taken on that role. Enjoy your day!

kittymuffin's picture

However, having to mother my mother can be a drain sometimes, eh. Maybe one day, she will wonder about me? PFFFFFFFFT!

HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY!!

Happy Mothers Day

Yea....it is genuinely sad to hate on some 14 yo momma.ppl always say shit lie "well,don't get knocked up. Teen btch" buuuuut in my more honest moments, I appreciate it....that could easily be me, so no shade, I just have been lucky enough to have a delitful mum and feel for those without that experience to ground them. Cuz I'm pretty trashy and misguided in spite of my wonderful upbringing....

Sandbitch's picture

Submitted by painted lady on Sun, 05/13/2012 - 12:15am.

You get jipped in the mom department sandbitch? That really sucks. Attention to mommy day always makes me extra glad for mine, she's truly one of a kind, maybe too nosy, maybe hates my man, maybe her and her momma is where I inherited my psycho paranoid gene from but damned alllathat, she's the best mom ever

---yeah - JIPPED - I didn't 'meet' my mom until I was 36. I have to forgive her for whatever failings tho - she was only 14 (a child) when she gave birth to me.

However, having to mother my mother can be a drain sometimes, eh. Maybe one day, she will wonder about me? PFFFFFFFFT!

HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY!!

kittymuffin's picture

yo, I just said whats up i cant sleep either

Yea,I'm lucky enough (in some respects) to not go to work til noon, so I can stay up late and embrace my night owl nature, I'm usually up til at least two or three. Usually bored as shit cuz lately the SOs been on some "early to bed... " shit. DULL :)

kittymuffin's picture

yup I play on the weekends..nice to meet you

Mrs. Voorhees's picture

Talk about the Fresh Air Fund. Let's buy her a hamburger and some sunscreen.

Aw kitty muffins your still up too? always glad to meet another insomniac ;)

kittymuffin's picture

Happy moms day..to all you mom"s

@hotmami in case she's still floating around....

First viewing of original psycho, so impressed, esp w janet Leigh So i looked her up. Did NOT know Jamie lee Curtis is her daughter and the daughter of tony Curtis (who I only ever thought of as the dude from Spartacus) fucking crazy....

Learn something new every damn day and as much as I loath movies cuz they're long and boring, I am now way more curious about old flicks

Pinkismyblack's picture

Anne's gonna blow the fuck up when she quits her Les Mis diet.

*feels like a dweeb for being a mommas girl,and extra guilty about stealing her wine*

You get jipped in the mom department sandbitch? That really sucks. Attention to mommy day always makes me extra glad for mine, she's truly one of a kind, maybe too nosy, maybe hates my man, maybe her and her momma is where I inherited my psycho paranoid gene from but damned alllathat, she's the best mom ever

Sandbitch's picture

What does one do for a mother who stashed you in the closet after birth? Srsly. Dear Mum, thanks for not packing the linen so tightly over.

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Sucky - Ultimate Grand Supreme Dlisted Celebrity
http://youtu.be/kYrxbOV_znM

Sandbitch's picture

Trying to decide whether to ring my mother unit in San Diego and wish her a happy birthing day today (Aussie time) or be lazy and wait until the US morrow. She rarely remembers being a mother so I guess I'll wait until the morrow.

-----
Sucky - Ultimate Grand Supreme Dlisted Celebrity
http://youtu.be/kYrxbOV_znM