You might want to check on the Ryan Gosling fangirl or fangay (Goshead? Gosloons? Godling Warriors?) in your life, because there’s a good chance that when these pictures came out last night, they printed them out on paper, origami-ed that shit into a knife and stabbed themselves in their feeling place. They could be suffering from an untreated paper cut. Check on that.
The Urban Outfitters’ answer to Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel strut strut strut their asses in front of the paparazzi in the East Village yesterday afternoon and confirmed that yup, they’re still attaching themselves at the crotch when the lights go down. I saw these pictures on a couple of sites last night and the comments softly laughed me to sleep. A lot of the comments were straight hating on Eva Mendes. They called her a manly, never-was, washed-up, attention whoring, old piece of superficial trash who is slowly sucking the life out of a perfect, glistening god man (I’m paraphrasing). I love it!
You know, I’ve never really had it for Eva Mendes (her Joker brows make me want to dance with the devil in the pale moonlight and I don’t like that feeling), but now I’m into her since she’s the most hated woman on 2 out of 3 gossip blogs. That bitch knows it too. That look she’s throwing above clearly says, “I see you hating on my genie pants, but I won’t care when these genie pants are on the floor and I’m riding the boyfriend in your head, bitch!” Yeah, I got all of that out of that nothing look. I can barely read English, but I can read faces.