Because of the Met Ball avalanche that hit me yesterday (I’m still plucking Beyonce’s feathers out of my mouth and putting ice over my eyeball from getting poked by Anja Rubik’s hip shank), I didn’t have time to get to the Linda Evangelista child support case. But to quote Francois-Henri Pinault every time one of his girlfriends tells him that she’s gotten her period after a pregnancy scare: better late than never, bitch!
For days, Linda and fashion mogul Franny were fighting it out over the $46,000 she wanted a month to take care of her 5-year-old son Augie. Even though the custom-made panda fur toilet paper Franny wipes his ass with costs more than $46,000 a roll, he didn’t want to pay that and told the court that Linda was going to use most of the money on herself.
Finally, after spending the weekend fighting it out, Linda and Franny came to an agreement on Monday. Linda, who gave us serious businesswoman with MONAY glamour, sashayed into a Manhattan court yesterday to sign the agreement after the judge approved it. The agreement has been stuffed into a condom and sealed forever, so the details aren’t known. But a source tells the NYDN that the settlement is “nowhere near $46,000 a month.”
But is it over the $19,000 a month (the current New York State record) Diddy pays, because us appreciators of gold diggers need to know whether or not we should raise our shovels in victory? Franny is a dead-hearted piece of trash if he’s giving Linda less than $19,000 a month in child support. How is she going to live on pennies?! I guess we’ll know if we see Augie shuffling around the street and instead of an armed bodyguard at his side, he’s got a whistle around his neck and some pepper spray in his hand. And instead of a 24-hour nanny holding his hand, he’s holding a walkie talkie his mom gave him. That better not happen, because just like Joan Collins, it’s not right for Linda Evangelista to play poor in real life, fake life or ANY life.