Sometimes when a long-running show ends, the regular cast members, whose checkin accounts are overflowing with the millions they made from that shit, buys the crew a fancy goodbye gift that says, “We’ll never see each other again, but think of me when you wash your ass on this solid gold bidet.” The cast of Friends bought their crew PT Kwooooozers and the cast of Dynasty bought their crew a gift basket full of diamonds, champagne, bubble bath and shoulder pads (I made that last one up). So on the last day of filming for Desperate Housewives, the crew put on their Christmas morning smiles and were all ready to collect some good shit. But the Price is Right losing horn played in all of their heads when Eva Longoria, Felicity Huffman, Marcia Cross and Vanessa Williams brought out some cheap ass luggage. That shit wasn’t even Tumi! Hell, it might not have even been Samsonite. The crew members thought there would be a ticket to Tahiti inside or maybe Teri Snatcher was hiding inside (since she wasn’t on the card) and would pop out holding the keys to their new Priiiiiiuuuuuus. But nope. That didn’t happen.
A source tells Radar that some of the crew thought the luggage was a joke, but all of them still thought it was better than what Teri Snatcher got them which was a fart full of nothing. The scorned source put it like this:
“She hasn’t given a single gift! She’s too busy stripping her trailer of everything but the kitchen sink! She’s hired people to take out her TV, her couch and practically anything else that isn’t nailed down. They should all be embarrassed. It’s just not right.”
In short: Those bitches are cheap, four out of five of them hate Teri Snatcher and I’m sure there’s an overstock of luggage from the DH cast on eBay right now. What do we expect, though? Marc Cherry was the queen cunt diva bitch of that set and he taught his gorls well.