Behold, The New Face Of Chanel No. 5

Does this mean that Chanel No. 5 is finally going to retire that Nicole Kidman commercial, because if I hear coo out the line “I love to dance!” one more time…

Chanel announced this morning that Chanel No. 5 will be the odor every Brangeloonie secretes when they’re in heat, because Brad Pitt is officially the new face of that shit. This is the first time a dude has ever been the face of Chanel No. 5 and it’s Brad’s first time hawking a beauty product. The amount of Brad’s paycheck hasn’t been confirmed, but Entertainment Weekly says that Chanel has stuffed seven figures into the lock box held by Pax, the child army’s official treasurer. Chanel released this first picture from the campaign of Brad looking like he’s hungover and trying to control himself from barfing at both ends while posing for his passport photo.

Unless Chanel tweaked the formula in Chanel No. 5 so that it can be used as a vagina douche now, this doesn’t make sense to me, but whatever. My biggest complaint is that Chanel chose the worst picture to start this campaign. This is why Maddox should approve every single piece of publicity material before it goes out, because he would’ve never signed off on this. This picture makes Brad look like he’s really selling enemas. This picture works for Chanel No. 2, not for Chanel No. 5.

They should’ve went with something like this instead:

Now that’s how you sell stank in a bottle.