It’s been much too long since I’ve had my fix of watching totally fake man hookers have totally fake sex with totally fake clients who are really paid soft-core porn actresses, but the dry spell is over! 90s hot piece turned meth-faced crypt keeper turned TV show producer Richard Grieco made my nipples wink by announcing to TV Guide that Showtime’s Gigolos is coming back for a third season. If you know nothing about Gigolos, then the only thing you need to know that it’s a supposed reality show about Las Vegas man whores who sell their peens to women only. Just like Marky Mark’s dick in Boogie Nights, it’s fake, but it’s glorious!
Richard said that Jimmy, the hooker whore on the far left who wore a dick cage for a client last season, isn’t coming back, because he thought he was the star of that mess. Vin Armani, the Dollar Tree version of Vin Diesel next to Jimmy, is also being phased out. Richard also said that some of the peen peddlers will go gay for pay next season. John Travolta, call your agent, girl!
The only thing that matters is that my Brace the Face is back. And since it will be Gigolos’ third season, they should really amp shit up by bringing on some star power. The third season needs a simulated fuck scene between Brace the Face and Tan Mom. A match made in burn cream heaven! Speaking of burn cream, they could totally use some as pussy lube.
I’ve fapped while watching a pork rind and a piece of salmon jerky slowly shrivel into crisps inside of a microwave set to high, so watching Brace the Face and Tan Mom would send me over the edge. Make this happen, Richard Grieco!