On Saturday night in NYC, Lindsay Lohan squeezed herself through the window of the bathroom in Phillipe restaurant, texted the paparazzi with her exact coordinates, crawled on the floor through the dining room while snatching tips off of tables, got up and then walked out the front door right behind Woody Allen so it looks like they just had dinner together. And that’s how a shameless, fame-eating attention whore does it!
No, TMZ says that Woody and his grown child bride Soon-Yi had dinner with LiLo, because they’ve been friends for years and he stood by her ass while most hos hated on her for being the messy tornado of coke she is. LiLo isn’t on PedoBear’s radar and Soon-Yi isn’t her mother, so we don’t have to worry about her and Woody replacing Kim and Kanye as the stroll’s most vomit-inducing couple. So you can Magic Erase that image in your head of a dehydrated turtle nibbling on a freckled syphilis sore. But some source (born name: Donata Sullivan) says that LiLo and Woody have been talking about possibly working together in the future. That sentence right there is the only evidence Woody Allen’s doctor needs to officially diagnose him as fucking senile. But then again, I would like to see a cracked out version of Play It Again, Sam called Play It Again, SamRo.