Somebody Get Amanda Bynes A Bus Pass

May 6, 2012 / Posted by:

If you got drunk on Theraflu, blindfolded yourself and played a game of Grand Theft Auto with your feet, you’d probably hit less cars than Amanda Bynes does on a monthly basis. Amanda continued her training for a spot on the 2012 U.S. Stunt Driving Olympics Team by sideswiping a car with her Range Rover on Friday night. This is the second time in a month that Amanda has swiped a car, and just like last time, bitch drove off. It’s gotten to the point that if you walk outside and find that somebody screwed up the side of your car without leaving a note on your windshield, just go ahead and send your body repair bill to Amanda Bynes. The trick probably did it.

E! News says that a dude called the LAPD after Amanda sideswiped his car while trying to pass him on the right. Amanda kept driving and the dude followed her ass while talking to the cops. When the cops caught up to her, she pulled her head out of her culo hole and told the officer that she had no idea she grazed another car. Amanda wasn’t drunk this time so the cops let her off with a warning. The LAPD pushed out this statement to E!:

“She wasn’t given a citation, no one was arrested, no one was hurt. She didn’t even know she was involved in an accident. We took a traffic collision report and there will be no further investigation.”

Oh L.A., you’re a magical place where hos who have at least 10 IMDB credits to their name can hit-and-run a bitch and get off without the police officer even thinking about reaching for his citation pad. That officer should’ve taken Amanda’s license and did what the salesperson at Macy’s did when I tried to use my Household Bank MasterCard: cut that shit up and hand it back to her in pieces. Amanda has no business being behind the wheel of a steel monster. Somebody get that bitch a tricycle, or a bus pass, or a skateboard with a leash attached to a dog. I would tell Amanda just to move to NYC since her and driving don’t go together, but she’d probably be one of those clueless bitches who stands right in front of the subway doors and refuses to move when the doors open. I know I’m going to see those annoying whores in HELL!

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