The Avengers Made ALL The Money This Weekend
Having waited 90 damn minutes in line to see that Hunger Games shit, I was not about to do it again for The Avengers so I was not one of the fifty billion people to pay $14 to see it this weekend. They didn't miss my money, because it made a little over $200 million. To put things into perspective, that's around $199, 999, 970 more than Katherine Heigl's masterpiece Zyzzyx made in its entire run. The Avengers slapped down Harry Potter's ass and now holds the title for having the biggest opening weekend ever. Showgirls SHOULD hold the title for having the biggest opening (you can stop right there and this sentence will still make sense) weekend ever, which is why I'll never understand American cinema and shit.
Deadline Hollywood says that The Avengers has made almost $600 million internationally. It had the best biggest grossing opening weekend in IMAX's history and also broke records in over a dozen countries. Allow me to translate those figures into slut talk we can all understand. Basically, The Avengers is the permanently hard 9-inch dick of superhero movies. Makes sense now, right? Here's what the rest of the weekend's box office looked like:
1. The Avengers - $200.3 million
2. Think Like A Man - $8 million
3. The Hunger Games - $5.7 million
4. The Lucky One - $5.1 million
5. The Pirates! Band of Misfits - $5.4 million
6. The Five-Year Engagement - $5.1 million
7. The Raven - $2.5 million
8. Safe - $2.4 million
9. Chimpanzee - $2.3 million
10. The Three Stooges - $1.8 million
I bet every single person who paid to see The Three Stooges only did so because their dumb asses didn't buy tickets to The Avengers online. Every movie theater cashier who sold a ticket to The Three Stooges probably heard the line: "The Avengers is sold out all night? Damn. Give me a ticket to The Three Stooges then, I guess. Damn!"
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Do you know that there are many Louis Vuitton Outlet Stores Online,which offer the very cheap fashion items,like
the Louis Vuitton Handbags,Louis Vuitton scarf,Louis Vuitton shoes and so on.But they are not the original items from LVM.
MeatBlocks..go suck an Egg..RDJ is the HHHOOOOTTTTTNNNNEESSSSSSS....he's so damn find I'd hit that every way that us humanly possible and some ways that aren't human..Your just jealous that women just can't wit chu..
Submitted by Stan Derp on Mon, 05/07/2012 - 9:34am
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Mon, 05/07/2012 - 6:48am.
Beatles...you are so right ESE. On Madmen last night Don Draper sitting having a drink and listening to this...
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i've never watched "Madmen",(heard nothing but good things, though) but, now, after a long pain in the ass monday, and you have me listening to more Beatles... i'm left to wonder if you are an inspiration, or a bad influence, 'cause now i wanna smoke a doobie.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jmq8V1KRiuU&feature=related
OT: i know fully well that i didn't attempt this, and i'm o.k. with that... it's about self progression, folks.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Submitted by nunya_bizness on Mon, 05/07/2012 - 8:40am.
The movie was long, predictable and cheesy. Robert Downey Jr. is a midget. Jeremy Renner has no business being in this movie.
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I CERTAINLY HOPE that by Renner having no business being in this movie you meant that because he is such an awesome actor his talents are wasted!
*sharpens shank*
No one talks about my and Kikichanelconspiracy's pocket bf in a negative way and gets away with it, so I am assuming you meant your comment in a positive way!
; )
If Avengers made that much, then I can't even imagine what TDKR will rake in almost immediately. Early word is it will go down as the best action movie ever made. The only film actually still made on film too. Nolan knows what he is doing. 07-20-12.
SO, you're telling me that this movie doesn't even have ONE fraction of a scene where the HOT superhero tackles the EXTREMELY HOT villain to the ground, and they wrestle with ridiculously TIGHT spandex? Or is it just the same old, same old special effects and overdone stunts shit?
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"That bitch is scary. She really needs to be sat on a tricycle asking people if they want to play a game." - billykelly789-1 on Lady GaGa (IMDB 22/07/2011)
I'll wait for the camcordered under coat cinema copy where you can hear farts, belches and people standing up. £2 well spent.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=om9p0NUNlSk&feature=fvwrel
Loopy, I totally agree that all of the man meat should have stripped down! They let Hulky be naked when he fell to earth, why not everyone else? ( except ScarJo and fishstix). I would have paid triple to see that. Yummmmmm :P
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
I LOVED The Avengers. Just a very fun and funny movie, filled with oh, so much eye candy. Where did they get so many sexy and svelte people together in one place? Seriously, I would hit every single person in that movie, even the extras.
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Devil's advocate.
i aint paying to see this
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Mon, 05/07/2012 - 6:48am.
Beatles...you are so right ESE. On Madmen last night Don Draper sitting having a drink and listening to this...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGmHwL1Nspc
PRICELESS!
We took the kiddos yesterday and I thought it was great. Then again, I have three boys under the age of 9 so it's easy to be enthusiastic about the things they enjoy.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
The monkey dragged my hungover ass yesterday to see this shit. So much fun standing in line for an hour, wondering why I'm paying $50 to stand in line for a stupid movie. It was okay, but without 3D and IMAX it would have been boring ass hell.
The theatre was seriously packed.
A lot of people were were applauding during the movie. Is this a new "thing"? I kept on having to stop myself from screaming IT'S A MOVIE, THEY CAN'T HEAR YOU!!
It's never too late to be who you might have been.
~George Eliot~
The movie was long, predictable and cheesy. Robert Downey Jr. is a midget. Jeremy Renner has no business being in this movie.
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Be intrigued, be interested. DON'T be stupid.---TheBreakdown
totally off-topic(i know!... you'd never expect it, right?... sue me if you can find me!)...
this started my morning up just right, and seeing as it did for me, you all have to do the same... *shakes fist*... oh, you have no choice in this!... just do it, and nobody gets hurt.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nnpil_pRUiw
happy monday, all!
OT: no, seriously... i just don't give a shit about this.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Mon, 05/07/2012 - 2:34am.
i like that idea! yes!
Real men do not bother to put on clothes that accentuate their well-muscled physique before storming off to save the world. If need be, they will settle for wearing only their undies and socks. Just saying.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
The Three stooges gross is actually higher than most expected. It was projected to be under $25M, but so far its taken $40M.
Whats interesting though is that due to the 3D and IMAX surcharges and expected 2D/3D split its likely less people will see The Avengers than will see The Hunger Games. THG will take about $400M domestic, the Avengers will have to take $470 or so to match it. It might do, but only just.
I just don't really care about comic book characters. At all.
Well, the studios think globally now, so when you add in the international box office gross, Avengers is only 3rd of all time at $385m, Deathly Hallows pt 2 is #1 with 483m (169m in US, 314m worldwide).
http://www.boxofficemojo.com/alltime/world/worldwideopenings.htm
Funny link to "Zyzzyx Road". When you factor in international box office take, Heigl can take comfort in knowing that this movie outgrossed St. Angie's "In the land of Blood and Honey".
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sun, 05/06/2012 - 10:59pm.
A lost opportunity to create what would have been a GREAT movie lol
Submitted by Validate Captcha on Sun, 05/06/2012 - 5:49pm.
Submitted by Zedrie on Sun, 05/06/2012 - 5:46pm.
YOU ARE SO LUCKY. We don't have drive-ins any longer in my neck of the woods. I'm so envious!
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Oh I know that! I totally count my blessings, even the crappiest of movies are better at the drive ins! :D
If you like patting GG, go right ahead. It keeps the kitty purring... ;)
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♫"Now if you're sad and you're feeling blue
Go out and buy a brand new pair of shoes"♫ - Maggie M'Gill
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:(
Yes Loopy, shower scene! Hey Captain, do you mind if Thor and I share your water, ours has gotten cold!
*Is there ANY legitimate reason to have them walk in on Batman and Robin??* lol
GG, no fapping you!
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♫"Now if you're sad and you're feeling blue
Go out and buy a brand new pair of shoes"♫ - Maggie M'Gill
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<"Submitted by Tyroan on Sun, 05/06/2012 - 10:45pm.
*runs on your lawn*">
http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/i-am-the-1-percent-smi...
oh jesus fucking christ. i hate seeing douchebag downey jr's fake ass aligned with anything good. that fucking anus-faced joketard.
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"The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."
~Edmund Burke
http://youtu.be/p0mHxtpoq2c
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Sun, 05/06/2012 - 10:45pm.
I know right, not even ONE shower scene of the guys showering. Don't superheroes shower after fighting the baddies, i mean they must sweat into those tight tight body suits, like Cap America would say "well that was a good fight against Dr Evil, now imma go hit the showers and keep the door open"
Instead we are treated to Scarlett jiggling them boobies, oh look she is drinking milk and it spilt on her boobies, oh look she is running and jiggling her boobs, oh look she is writing a letter and jiggling her boobs, oh look she is helping an orphan child and jiggling her boobs, oh look she is cooking for the homeless and jiggling her boobies.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sun, 05/06/2012 - 10:40pm.
Yeahhh! send scarlett away somewhere, everyone has seen her boobies, who cares if it jiggles.
this movie shoulda been about Thor telling captain america that he had a hotter body and captain america disagrees, and then they take their clothes off and fight it out and sweat alot.
then the guys shower.
*faint*
Submitted by TexnDoc on Sun, 05/06/2012 - 5:22pm.
I had free passes I gave away. I just can't stand pop culture movies. I woulda sworn this was made 3 or 4 times already within the past year. Jesus. Grow up.
*runs on your lawn*
Loopy, you would have thought that with all of those fight scenes there should have been at least ONE gratuitous shower scene with the male avengers. Right???
Oh Deb, I'm so happy!
I have three sons and when the trailer for this came out they were drooling and almost fapping! So they are taking me to see this as my mother's day present. Oh well, at least I get to spend the day with my boys. Can't hate on that!
Loopy, you hafta use your imagination! But I like your version much better. You should have written it! HAHAHA Fight the bad guy, hero gets naked. Scarlet shows up, send her off somewhere, hero gets naked, tears shirt of hero #2, they jump on hero #3 and wrestle each other... ZOMG! Mmm, we need some photoshop of this! Where's Sandbitch when you really need her?
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♫"Now if you're sad and you're feeling blue
Go out and buy a brand new pair of shoes"♫ - Maggie M'Gill
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My husband and both of my boys have been waiting for this movie- FOREVER. I am a girly-girl. I can only deal with Wonder Woman or Elektra woman and Dyna girl. But it was a good movie. Scarlett's character not really sure if it was necessary. My hubby says the character was supposed to be there. But honestly I think it would have been the same without her character. Honestly, good move for her, making history in the first week. Can you imagine her pay for the sequels and for any other movie she's in?
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Sun, 05/06/2012 - 8:32pm.
Off Topic: KINGS SWEPT THE BLUES!!!! LICK MY ASS ST. LOUIS!!!! Carry on...
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Congrats, GG.
In the latest Vanity Fair, there is an editorial about how movies USED to be for adults, and TV was for kids/teens. Now it's the opposite.
On the flight over here I watched a couple of movies for adults (as opposed to "adult" movies). I really enjoyed "J. Edgar", in which DiCaprio was excellent, and Clint Eastwood directed very well. I also ejoyed "Chronicle", which was more for teens, but very well written and acted, with impressive special effects.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sun, 05/06/2012 - 10:23pm.
I am just soooo dissapointed, i mean you have chris thingie with his captain america hottie body, Thor with his hottie body, and i guess robert downie junior gives some people panty pudding also.
so you have those three man meats on screen, and you don't write in the script that they must take their shirts off for at least 5 minutes? or when they fight the monsters, the monsters tears their clothes off? or they go back to the Avengers HQ and decide to wrestle each other half naked to prove their superhero prowess?
who writes these scripts these days??? obviously somebody without ANY imagination on how to get 3 hot dudes half naked.
Loopy, did you think it was called Gayvengers? ;p Sweets, for that you gotta go elsewhere! This was strictly covered up goods... true dat! ;)
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♫"Now if you're sad and you're feeling blue
Go out and buy a brand new pair of shoes"♫ - Maggie M'Gill
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I saw the avengers this weekend. I don't give a fuck about joss whedon or super heroes but I liked the movie a lot.
Lots of eye candy. I would hit Thor so hard... I'd probably have sexy time with the hulk if he promised to grunt sweet nothings in my ear.
Sorry but this film had minimal shirtless moments or flesh hunky man meat, SO MAJOR FAIL.
It was good for the straight fanboys because scarlett's funbags were jiggling at every opportunity, when bitch was taking out the baddies, her tits jiggled like a jumping castle funhouse.
but for us gays, all that on screen man meat and no flesh.... FUCK YOU AVENGERS FUCK YOU!
Submitted by Secret Original on Sun, 05/06/2012 - 6:24pm.
Submitted by IrishFury on Sun, 05/06/2012 - 5:51pm.
I took my kids to see The Pirates!
Cut movie, typical kids fare but I thought it would have funnier, more clever lines, I think it's from the Wallace and Grommit/Shaun the Sheep folk.
..............
I had the same reaction, and then I learned it had been dumbed down for American release. Jokes rewritten (made "simpler" and less risque) and voices changed. (Like adding fucking Al Roker.)
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Really?! That is so interesting! There just wasn't the same funny bite that I expected. I'll look out for the british version.
I know - Al Roker! WTH?!
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Dark-sided!
Of course it made all the money. It's the reason all those mediocre movies about the individual superheroes were made in the first place. If there was a movie starring Edward from Twilight, Katniss from the Hunger Games, Harry Potter, Leonardo DiCaprio's character from Titanic, one of the blue Avatar people, Chewbacca, Johnny Depp, and a hologram of a theoretic love child produced by Michael Jackson and Tupac, it would make all the money ever.
Depp would probably have to be covered in comical makeup, though. His normal face wasn't enough to save The Tourist and The Rum Diaries.
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Silly rabbit.
OMG! Michael K and I are on the same wave length.
I was looking at the numbers and everyone saved their money for Avengers and all the other movies went to hell.
Great minds think alike.
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Grow up, Demi, and do coke off toilet seats like the rest of us adults do!- Michael K, 1/26/12
Meh. saving mah money to see dark shadows. that shit looks good.
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Sir, you killed your date? What in the name of Phil Spector happened?
Just thought I'd throw in my two cents worth and say I guess as long as they're making 200mil on opening weekend there will be no end to these comic book movies, 200 mill is just CRAZY cake for an opener. I would think there will be at least two to three more of these for sure.
Everyone I know who saw it said it was DUMB. Thor is HOT though.
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I'm jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo - Blanche Devereaux
Bacon, IKR? Surprising what they have... after that you go online! Loved Secretary and Sex Lies and Videotape, big Spader fan! Hahaha
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♫"Now if you're sad and you're feeling blue
Go out and buy a brand new pair of shoes"♫ - Maggie M'Gill
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I'll wait for Netflix...
@Within
LOL I checked out "Secretary" from my library a good while back! What kinda hor woulda even thunk?!? *adjust knee-length skirt and eyeglasses*
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
GG, you mean the pinky fingers... least that's what I saw! ;p
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♫"Now if you're sad and you're feeling blue
Go out and buy a brand new pair of shoes"♫ - Maggie M'Gill
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦♮♠░░░░