I know. Whores, including this whore, need to stop trying to make Tan Mom happen, but I promise this will be the last post about her (I’m lying). After this, the next time we’ll talk about her is when we’re all drunk in a booth at Waffle House at 3am and the waitress brings a plate of sausage patties and one of us goes, “It’s Tan Mom!” That’ll be the next time, but in the meantime above is a clip from TMZ of the minstrel show version of Fire Marshall Bill burning up the poof on Snoopy’s head by cursing her out. No, Woodstock does not have to sharpen his beak to defend his main bitch, Tan Mom meant “Snooki” instead of “Snoopy.” Being drunk on UV rays charred her brains and put the slur on her tongue a bit. TMZ told Tan Mom that Snooki called her “a crazy bitch” and the mother of the year who looks like a Raisinet after you suck all the chocolate off of it had this to say:
“She’s the biggest asshole in the world. She’s fake, she’s fat, her tits are fake, she’s disgusting. And when this is all said and done, I’d like to meet up with ‘Snoopy.'”
Oh, Tan Mom, you crazy sun dried fig-looking bitch. Snooki is fat, because she’s knocked up. As much as I’d like to see Tan Mom and Snooki fight it out in a tan-off to the death, I’d much rather see Tan Mom meet up with SNOOPY. This calls for a live action version of Charlie Brown and the Great Pumpkin starring Tan Mom as the Great Pumpkin!
And here’s the frame broiled pride of New Jersey spreading a little sunshine yesterday.