Open Post: Co-Hosted By Chicken Cutlets And Henry

With the deaths of MCA, Falling Bear and Bucket List Baby this week (in other words, fuck this week hard in the taint), you might need a temporary pick-up, so here's a gallery of pictures featuring adorable dog friends and the ravishing beauties who love them.

Because your dog deserves to scoot its itchy ass in luxury while you're away, The Pooch Hotel (not to be confused with Charlie Sheen's Cooch Hotel a few blocks down) opened its doors in Hollywood last night with a party full of sparkling A-list jewels including Phoebe Price, Rip Taylor, a dead Yorkie on Rip's head, Joan Van Ark, Kate Linder and the newest edition to the wall of beauty in front of my bed (so I go to sleep at night knowing the world is not totally an ugly place): BARBARA VAN ORDEN!

Everything you need to know about Barbara Van Orden you can learn by putting on a pair of silk gloves before clicking on the pair of diamonds (seriously) on her website. It's the most luxurious thing you'll see today unless you somehow peeked into my apartment window this morning and watched me slow dance with my dog to Natalie Cole's "Unforgettable" CD.

Wenn.com

Posted by: Michael K

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Open Post

Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 2:00pm.

EEG - I voted ho! ;)

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I'm jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo - Blanche Devereaux

Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:59pm.

EEG - Done.

Can you service Mr. Spot? I haz a headache.

Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:59pm.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 3:26pm.

SLUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

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I'm jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo - Blanche Devereaux

Submitted by Provolone on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:58pm.

Submitted by EastEndGirl on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 3:04pm.

Almost went with 'blonde on a budget', but she had no pics and anybody who considers $100 an emergency fund is a dipshit.

I was vote #29.

Submitted by guest on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:58pm.

mastixa...hugs.

Submitted by Event Horizon on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:58pm.

@cat

You live near seattle? I hear the constant gloomyness there makes people really depresed. When people come from there to a place thats bright and sunny, theyre usually shocked by the change in mood they feel simply from getting a bit of sun...

b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
"I'm doin hoe activities, with hoe tendencies. Hoes are my friends, hoes are my enemies."

Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:58pm.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 3:26pm.
Speaking of exes. I went to lunch with my gf today and saw 3(!!!) ex gfs at the restaurant... each were with their own little group.... and each one stopped to say "hi". Yea, I got 'the look'.

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Think of it as being so important to them that they have to have lunch together just to talk about you.

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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:58pm.

Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 3:25pm.

Queenie - I collected a shit load of pill bugs (rolly-polly's)
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I HATE those things. When it warms up they somehow get in my apartment and gather around the fireplace... it's messed up.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers

Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:56pm.

@EEG

I voted for your friend as well.

*awaits payment☺*

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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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Submitted by guest on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:56pm.

Ur welcome EEG.

My back feels better as long as I take an asprin every six hours. :p

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:56pm.

Speaking of exes. I went to lunch with my gf today and saw 3(!!!) ex gfs at the restaurant... each were with their own little group.... and each one stopped to say "hi". Yea, I got 'the look'.
_____________________________________________
"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers

Submitted by Bigbendy on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:56pm.

Submitted by EastEndGirl on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 3:04pm.
XxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hey EEG, done and done. Your friend only has 30 votes. You better get on the horn, girl. Haha

Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:55pm.

Queenie - I collected a shit load of pill bugs (rolly-polly's) this morning. I feel your pain. Tried to trap those bastards with beer last night. It didnt work.

I think they drank the beer and got torn up. Interrupted tons of rolly-polly sessy times thus morning. Seriously, they were having an orgy in my garden. I drowned those whores.

Submitted by EastEndGirl on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:54pm.

Thanks Jacko, got your message. If we could even get him third place it would be fucking awesome. Blog is only two years old but he has been working at this shit forever.

ex-peen. go figure.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:53pm.

Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 3:21pm.

Ugh. I may or may not have overserved myself last night.
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LMAO!!! *shocked face*
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers

Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:52pm.

Jack you're cracking me up. One eye HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:52pm.

mastixa - that is the worst feeling... been there. Keep your chin up, everything always works out.

QBK - I feel your pain... I started working out again and it hurts to fucking WRITE!
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers

Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:51pm.

Queenie, you made some muscles! Gardening is good for body and soul. I'm jealous.

Soak in a hot bath with some Epsom salts. For real those things are good.

Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:51pm.

@ SweetASS - LMAO at Crayola threw up! HAHAHA.

Ugh. I may or may not have overserved myself last night. I am working from home. And the MCA news put me in a funk.

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I'm jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo - Blanche Devereaux

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:50pm.

EEG - I voted, hook.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers

Submitted by mastixa on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:50pm.

Hekki- Thank you, although I don't know you, it means a lot. Really tough out there, your encouragement makes it better!

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:49pm.

Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 3:06pm.

Haha jack! You have good eyes! Rip Taylor's invisible dog brightened my day for a minute.
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I know, me too! I had one of those when I was a kid... and I only have one eye but it works pretty damn good!!
_____________________________________________
"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers

Submitted by catfight357 on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:49pm.

I don't know if it's the weather or my meds but I am so fucking depressed. Seriously in a funk. Oh and I still hate my husband. So I've got that going for me.

*sigh*

Submitted by Sweetas on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:46pm.

Okay I'm sorry but is this bitch colorblind? She always looks like Crayola threw up.

Submitted by EastEndGirl on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:45pm.

Whamo, not my fucking problem you didn't drop by while you were in town.

Submitted by Gobbler on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:45pm.

Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 3:11pm.

Gobbler, right? She was absolutely perfect and I have no idea why she would have messed with it. Stupid woman. It's hard for a normal woman like me to understand why her original face wasn't good enough.
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I wonder if once-beautiful stars who mess up their faces w/surgery actually regret having had it done, or if they (in some warped way) think they really do look better.

Submitted by Event Horizon on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:44pm.

The words fuck, hard and in taint are all i needed to feel better...

b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
"I'm doin hoe activities, with hoe tendencies. Hoes are my friends, hoes are my enemies."

Submitted by TexnDoc on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:44pm.

Henry is one of two celebrity dogs I know. The other is Bizarre. Thank you Michael K. I guess your Elvie makes 3. I hope it stops there.

Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:44pm.

Submitted by EastEndGirl on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 3:04pm.
Hey whores. Please cast a vote for an old dear friend of mine who has been nominated for Best Personal Blog.
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Hey EEG, most of these vote requests usually come with some sort of BJ offer don't they?

*looks over fine print on bottom of request sheet*

Submitted by Datura on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:42pm.

All of Phoebe's facial features look warped to accommodate those cutlets. Her eyes are pulled downward in a really strange way.

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“he looks like some sort of sea serpent like an octopus, catfish or something from pirates of the caribbean and his stomach is gross it looks like hes prego with a giant wiener” – kittymuffin on The Situat

Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:41pm.

Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:39pm.

Mastixa, hang in there. We can all sympathize with that feeling of sinking despair. You WILL get a job. You will.

Got my fingers crossed for you.

Submitted by TexnDoc on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:38pm.

That's not Rip Torn or not even Rip anybody. That's Marcus Bachmann.

Submitted by QueenieBK on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:36pm.

I worked in my garden all day yesterday and I am just a big ball of hurt - from my neck to my knees I am in agony

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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley

Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:36pm.

Haha jack! You have good eyes! Rip Taylor's invisible dog brightened my day for a minute.

Submitted by Gobbler on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:35pm.

Thumb 8 is what the first lady of France has morphed into...What's her name-Carla Bruni?

Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:35pm.

Princess Phobelina looks like her hair is ...brown maybe?? Look at her temple area in the main pic do the roots seem brownish or am I being blinded by the sheer beauty of the entire page?

Submitted by EastEndGirl on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:34pm.

Hey whores. Please cast a vote for an old dear friend of mine who has been nominated for Best Personal Blog.

http://westcoastsocialmediaawards.com/voting/

His site is Play In Victoria.

Thanks muchly to everyone who has already voted or promised to when drunk (MK, you better hold that, I always vote for your gay ass)xo

Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:33pm.

Christ those are some hideous looking bitches! Cute dogs though.

Submitted by mastixa on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:32pm.

You guys, I feel like I'm never going to get a job. I officially hate HR ( sorry if I offend anyone working in the profession).

Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:30pm.

A bad plastic surgery convention?
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Douchechill!

Submitted by SalmaNella on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 2:09pm.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 1:28pm.

LMAO at Rip Taylor!! 4th thumb he has one of those fake dog leashes that have a wire in them to make it look like you are walking an invisible dog with a hairpiece on it hahahahahaa!
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers